I did it! (and Food Diary, day 5)

Before the Race!

Yep! I did it!! I completed the Race For Life and I ran/jogged the whole thing! No walking and no stopping!!! It was really emotional crossing the finish line, knowing that something I never thought I could manage, I did!


Because of the amount of people in front of us (we stupidly went with the joggers- next time we'll have to go with the runners!!) we didn't start until the timer said 1.50 and after about 10 metres we were stalled because of people just walking for a bit and causing "traffic" but after 100m or so we managed to get jogging- weaving in and out of people most of the way!


After about 2k or so I lost Kate, the friend I was jogging with, I overtook some people and happened to lose her but just kept going. 

Afterwards- pooped but feeling great!

Kate and I showing off our medals!

I hit a "wall" at about 3.5k or so and started to feel sick, but once I hit the 4km mark and knew I was nearly there, I was determined to finish! When I got to the last 500m I could actually see the finish line so was just going for it- and finished strong! The time on the timer said 33.54. So minus the stalled start and the time delay in starting I technically did it in under 30 minutes- which is awesome!


Next time though- we're going to start with the runners, rather than the joggers, because I jogged but at a quickish pace (having long legs has it advantages!) and it is less likely to be gridlocked at the start! That's the plan- definitely can't wait to do it again! Haha!





We went for lunch after- had a roast dinner with extra veggies and then we headed home. I was out more or less straight away- after getting changed- because I was heading to Chris's for a coffee and a natter, which I really enjoyed- I always do.


I then popped into the off licence to speak to my boss about something and went to see some friends down in New Brighton. 


All in all, it's been a very busy day! I am pooped and was hoping to get an earlyish night- yeah right!!


Ok so food- of course- it's all about the food- now to work out how many syns I've actually had!


Breakfast


summer fruit
yoghurt


Lunch


Chicken Roast:
Chicken breast
Roast potatoes (6)
Yorkshire pudding (3)
Gravy (2)
2x peas and carrots


apple
hifi light bar


Greek yoghurt (1/2)
2x coffee w/dash skimmed milk (1)


Small bowl "scouse" (1)
beetroot


Dinner


apple


roast beef
sweetcorn and peas
carrot and swede
boiled potatoes
roast potato (1)
syn free onion gravy


lemon curd


2x coffee w/ 50ml 1% milk
1x tea w/50ml 1% milk
hifi light bar


HEA- milk
HEB- hifi light bars
syns- 14 1/2 (couldn't do that again if I tried!!!!)
total syns for the week- 39

So ok today's syns were high but to be honest I deserved it! I still stuck to within my allowance which is great- I'm very happy with that! I ate well and exercised most of the syns off I'm guessing!


Anyway- back to my normal self tomorrow! Might be hobbling around a bit though!!


I have a social day ahead- which is awesome- looking forward to it- and hoping that all this hard work I've put in will pay dividends on the scales on Tuesday- 4.5lb off this week to get to target would be amazing- I am really hoping!!

Speak tomorrow!


Much Love,
Tanya x

Food Diary, Day 4 and sore knees!

Good evening!


Ow ow ow I have a bad knee! Not even trying to make an excuse- it genuinely hurts! Damn this sod and his law!!!! I'm going to head to bed soon to rest it- I'm praying it's better by the morning! I'm getting worried!


I was working at both Asda and the off licence today. Asda was good- shift went quick- even quicker because they wanted me to go home early- so I agreed to go at 1. I then found out that I was finishing at the same time as a colleague I like to chat to. We had a good catch up and I enjoyed the natter!


Had a bit more time to relax before work, but not much! I was in work for 4. 


It was rather hectic to say the least. Lots of people coming in, more than usual because one of the convenience stores apparently lost power! I was rather flustered and started to get a bit panicky (my nerves still play up now and again). Made a few mistakes but there's nothing I can do about it now. There were a couple of issues about my shift (can't really get into it) and I have decided to speak to my boss about it. If something is stressing me out so much that it's inducing panic- I need to do something about it! I need to be proactive!


Anyway- my food diary for today (I feel like I have binged because of what I ate for supper but oh well!)


Breakfast


Magic Porridge (35g porridge oats and a fruit activia snackpot yoghurt)
Summer Berries


Berries
100g Low Fat natural yoghurt (1)


Lunch


3x skinny lizzie sausages (3)
3 egg omelette
3 rashers bacon
onion
tomatoes


tea w/50ml 1% milk


coffee w/ dash skimmed milk (1/2)


Dinner


Roast chicken mugshot
Mediterranean side salad


Supper


2x hot and spicy chicken breast fillets
uncle ben's savoury chicken express rice (2 1/2)
peppers, rocket salad and tomatoes


syn free lemon curd
berries


HEA- milk (300ml 1% milk- about to finish the allowance off)
HEB- porridge
Syns for today- 7
Syns so far this week - 24 1/2


Ok I have found that I am eating way too late- it's getting silly. I've decided to try and eat a bit earlier- which is really hard when I'm working but when I'm not, there are no excuses really! So that's my pledge- something for me to try!


Oh- the low fat yoghurt for 1 syn I had- that was a big "oops" on my part. I thought it was a syn free one (I thought it was fat free- even though not all fat free foods are syn free- fat free natural yoghurt I believe is free- but it wasn't fat free!) thank goodness I didn't eat half the tub (at least!) like I usually do!


Ok I need to get to bed- 8am will be here very fast and I need to get things ready for my run tomorrow!


Hopefully a good update will be here tomorrow!


Much Love,
Tanya x

Food Diary, day 3 and Pre-run nerves!

Hello! Me again! Bet you're getting sick of me now eh!

Today has been interesting- even though I haven't done much really!

I had a lovely sleep in and felt very rested. I chatted to Julie on text for a bit (mainly me telling her to stop rubbing in that she's had one of the new rocky road bars since I have to wait until Tuesday for mine!) I remembered to ask her about a contact name and number for someone in head office in regards to any publicity I get. I was advised a while back that if I was ever approached then I should direct them to head office. Which was great, but I didn't know *who* exactly to send them to.

Anyway- Julie told me to contact someone called Nicala and gave me a number to call, as she wanted a chat. I told her about a couple of journalists that have contacted me over the last month and she said that all I need to do is forward her contact details to them so they can speak to her. She knows what she's doing- it's great that SW have my back- it's not like I have much experience in these kind of things!

I then had a natter with Julie on the phone- which was nice- I always like talking to her. She's been a big strength and great support- I don't think I would have lost the weight without her!

I was at the off licence today- 6 hours. It went quite quick actually- it was mad busy until about 7.30 then it quieted down a lot. It went rather smoothly- but of course- being a panicky kind of person, I'm wondering how I messed up! I'm sure that'll get easier as time goes on- I'm still getting used to the fact that I haven't got Abby to remind me when I've forgotten something!

I visited dad after work for a bit then wandered home, actually jogged most of the way! Was rather chuffed with myself.

Even though I find myself jogging more, I am getting more and more nervous about sunday. I haven't run that far yet and I am worried about not finishing! But I am rather determined. Only 2 more sleeps to go! It's going to be fun- I know this!

I've eaten rather well today. Here is my food diary

Breakfast

Summer Fruits

Muller greek style yoghurt (1/2)

Lunch

4x Iceland Chicken Skewers

mixed beans with passata and herbs

Rocket Salad, tomatoes and beetroot

Coffee w/50ml 1% milk

Chocolate Cake (2)

Greek style yoghurt (1/2)

Hifi light bar 

Coffee w/dash skimmed milk (1/2)

Apple

Dinner

2x Salmon Fillet 

Noodles w/quark

Mushrooms and peppers

Broccoli 

Green beans

Banoffee yoghurt (1)

hifi light bar

tea w/50ml 1% milk

I've just noticed that I'm not at my 5 syns for today so going to grab another greek yoghurt (1/2) to make it up to 5- because I don't want to go under my 5 syn recommendation- I actually want to stick to plan how it's intended- or as much as possible

Green = Superfree Food

Black = Free Food

Pink = Healthy Extras

Blue = Syns

So my Healthy Extras and syns today

HEA- Milk (will consume leftovers in a little bit)

HEA- hifi light

Syns for today= 5

Syns so far this week = 17 1/2

Right! I need to get my bum to bed! I am in work an hour earlier tomorrow- so technically working 12 hours (not counting the 1 1/2 hour break between jobs) I need my sleep.

It's going to be busy busy! Going to make magic porridge for the morning- start my day off right with a decent breakfast!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Chocolate Cake and Food Diary, Day 2

Good evening!

I was going to type this up and then got waylaid, turned computer off and realised "damn! Blog!" So computer went back on and I am here!!

I have a food diary and recipe just for you!

Today's food:

Breakfast

Banana

Banana and custard muller light

Snack

Small portion of baked bean lasagna

bistro salad

tomatoes

Coffee w/4 dashes skimmed milk (2)

Lunch

Remainder of lasagna

More salad and tomatoes

Dinner

Salmon Fillet (just microwaved)

Stuffed Pepper- with rice, quark, chilli flakes, garlic, chives and soy sauce

Rocket salad and tomatoes

Greek style muller (1/2)

hifi light 

Supper

2x chocolate cake (4)

coconut and dark choc muller light

summer fruits

Just a reminder of the colour coding:

Green = Superfree Food

Black = Free Food

Pink = Healthy Extras

Blue = Syns

So my Healthy Extras and syns today

HEA- Milk (will have tea and some measured out milk before bed)

HEA- hifi light (have one left to have as they are 2 for a B and only had one so far)

Syns for today= 6 1/2

Syns so far this week = 12 1/2

I feel like I've eaten lots today- I am very full- but I'm sure I'll find room for another hifi bar and a cuppa- always room for a cuppa.

The only reason why I have synned the milk is that there was no way to accurately measure it (I was at starbucks and they don't have any measuring jug thingies) I am being very good so I thought it would be better to syn the dashes rather than guess a measurement for the healthy extra.

So- this chocolate cake that I mentioned- and had 2 of. I remembered it being mentioned at a SW group I went to a few weeks ago. I also saw it on a Facebook page I go on (Diet Momma). I've been meaning to try it out so thought tonight "what the hell". Made one and it didn't last long so decided to make another one and make it a bit more presentable for a picture.

Here is the recipe:

1x egg

1x sachet (or 11g) of options hot chocolate powder

1 dessert spoon sweetener (I thoroughly recommend Asda's own granulated stuff- it's like canderal but without the horrid after taste!)

Beat the egg, mix in the sweetener and chocolate powder.

Heat in the microwave for 1 1/2 minutes

Voila! Chocolate cake!

It's not the greatest cake in the whole world, but you know what? For 2 syns it's pretty darn tasty!

I recommend having it with berries and a coconut (with chocolate sprinkles) muller light yoghurt. Fab sweet hit if you need it- and only 2 syns each!

Today has been a good day. I'm still a bit moody and seem to be getting lonely a lot. I spent a few hours with Chris and got a lift home off her husband. I rushed around to get ready for work (They called me and asked if I could do a few hours tonight- of course, I said yes!)

I got home and mum had been for a meal with her best friend- they were both a bit pickled. Mum, just before she was going to bed, decided to run a bath. Forgot about said bath and flooded the kitchen (which I have done before so can't really judge!)

I've not done much since then, mainly just read inboxes and emails, replied to most of them and now I think it is time for bed!

I'm still overtired, weirdly enough- even though I am sleeping a good 7 hours- albeit pretty disturbed sleep. I'm going to have a long think over the next few days as to what is really going on in my head. Spring clean and sort out the rubbish in there!

At least my eating is good- sticking to plan and being rather positive about that- I am really hoping that those scales are nice to me on Tuesday!

On a very positive note- Julie is back! She sent me a little message on Facebook chat this morning just before I set out to see Chris. It's good to have her back and I look forward to catching up with her on Tuesday! Hopefully she'll have a little present for me (my target badge!!) 

Ok time for bed for me- with my cuppa and hifi light!

Hopefully another update tomorrow with more food!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Lemon Curd, Lasagna and (finally!!) a Food Diary!

hi guys- long time no speak!! heehee


today has been hectic and boy am I ready for my bed! I will be going as soon as I have done this post- because I have a nice, busy day tomorrow.


Ok I wrote out exactly what I ate today. I'm going to play around with the colour of font and stuff to make things a bit more interesting (I like playing with new things!!!)


Breakfast


3x satsuma
Tea w/ 50ml milk


Lunch


3x skinny lizzie sausages (3)
2x fried egg
3x rashers bacon
2/3 tin beans
fried mushrooms+ tomatoes


Snack


2x Coffee w/ dash skimmed milk (1)
Mini cake tester (2)


Dinner


Baked Bean lasagna
Bistro salad 
Tomatoes


2-3 spoons syn free lemon curd


Coffee w/50ml milk


Supper


Apple
2x satsuma
vanilla muller light
lemon curd


cranberry hifi bar


Ok so if you don't know what is what:


Green= superfree food
Black= free food
Pink= Healthy extras
Blue= Syns


I always have at least 1/3 of my meal superfree- so I may not have put the exact amount in- but like with dinner- half my plate, if not a bit more, was salad and tomatoes- and that doesn't include the superfree in the actual lasagna!


So a breakdown of healthy extras and syns


HEA- Milk (measured out)
HEB- hifi bar
Syns- 6


The tester cake I had was a rice krispie cake thing. It was only tiny- and I feel I am over synning it- but better be safe than sorry!


You may have noticed that I have not quite had a full HEA of milk- but I'm going to have a cuppa before bed with measured milk and the rest I'll just drink on it's own.


I'm still stuffed!


Now- I can't mention stuff like syn free lemon curd and baked bean lasagna and not post the recipe, can I? No- so here, have some recipes!


Baked Bean Lasagna


Syn free on EE


2 tins baked beans
1 carton passata
1 large onion (diced)
2 large mushrooms (diced)
lasagna sheets (I needed 6)
tobasco sauce
Worcestershire sauce
garlic granules, mixed herbs, black pepper (to taste)


1 large tub syn free cottage cheese


1) Fry mushrooms and onions in large pan
2) Add beans, passata and all herbs/sauces to taste. Personally I used quite a bit of Worcestershire sauce because I love the stuff! Simmer until thickened a bit.
3) Layer some of the mixture into a flat dish.
4) Add a layer of lasagna sheets (about 3 sheets due to the size of my dish)
5) repeat steps 3+4
6) add a final layer of mixture.
7) Put cottage cheese in mixing bowl and beat until smooth, add herbs to taste.
8) Spoon on top of mixture
9) Place in the oven on gas mark 6 for 20-25 mins


I would recommend using a knife and cutting it a bit before trying to serve up- it got rather messy for me- but it still tasted amazing!


A lot of people just put cheese (HEA or syns) on the top instead of cottage cheese- but I was being stingy! And had already had milk for part of my HEA


It's rather filling in my opinion so I recommend only having salad with it. I usually eat tonnes but I managed about a quarter of this! More for me tomorrow for lunch or dinner!


Ok and on to the lemon curd!!! Seriously this is amazing stuff- gorgeous and I can't wait to make it again!


You need:


2x large eggs
1x large lemon (rind and juice)
3-4 tablespoons sweetener (depending on your taste)
2x tablespoons quark


Whisk eggs in mixing bowl. Add the lemon juice, rind and sweetener and mix well.
Boil a pan of water and place bowl over it. whisk until mixture is thickened.
Take pan off the heat and mix in quark. You may need more sweetener just taste it and see what you think.
Put in a jar (we plan on using a jam jar we have next time) and leave to cool in the fridge.


It's amazing- tangy and sweet and totally free! Great to have with maybe ice cream or as a filling for 1/2 syn cake!


Ok this was only going to be a short one but it's taken me ages to type it up. I must finish doing the dishes and head to bed with my cuppa!


Today has been good- been busy, only had 6 syns and am stuffed! Going to continue my good streak as I really want to lose that last 4.5lb this week to get to target!!!!!


Now, time to get off here.
Hopefully another food diary to follow! 

Much Love,
Tanya x

Self Sabotage, Gains and Feeling Raw

Ok bear with me, I know this sounds totally negative but I'll put a positive spin on it, promise!!


So this week I've struggled a bit more than usual- ok I had a meal out and a couple of takeaways....but I have had a few moments of absolute stupidity. Where I've eaten stuff that I shouldn't have eaten and just comfort ate. 


Truth is, I am still feeling extremely emotional because of the events of the last few weeks. I realised today that I have some kind of abandonment complex going on. I tend to get very clingy sometimes, especially when I'm overtired, irritable and emotional. Even though I'm working on that, there's that bit of me that thinks that the stuff that happened over the last couple of weeks can and will happen again. Constant paranoia and getting upset over it. It's something I just need to get over and fast. Sometimes it's so hard to not listen to the head when it goes off on one. 


I know what I need to do actually- I need to do some in depth work on my head- because really the reason why I wanted to lose weight was, for one of many reasons, to be happy. Right now, I'm not particularly happy. that is when I need to do something about it. I know what to do- I just need to do it. So....a lot of thinking is going to be done and a lot of work. Watch this space!


Anyway- I have found that because of my mood, I have just eaten rubbish at any chance- which doesn't help, I know it doesn't. I may have lost nearly 10 stone but I am still human and I still mess up- on a regular basis. That's ok though- you know why? Because I'm not giving up! I get back on that wagon and I try again. The only time you fail is if you give up completely. If you mess up, eat your own body weight in chocolate and and biscuits- you haven't failed. Yeah it wasn't a clever thing to do- but it just shows that you are, indeed human. Draw a line under it, start again and just try your best. That's all you can do! That's all I can do.


I have support from others, friends, family, my SW buddies and Julie. I need never be alone. I have to remember that- with every aspect of my life when I'm struggling. I can isolate pretty well, which makes matters worse. I need to reach out sometimes and say "hey- I'm not doing too well at the moment- can you help?" Sometimes "help" can be anything from just sitting with a coffee and ranting to working out something practically or even just a hug. I love helping others, but feel as though I don't deserve support myself sometimes. Which is bull- I do deserve it, just as much as anyone else. I need to remember that. I might get a poster put up saying just that!


Well, now that's out in the open, time to get onto these positives!


I gained this week. Wait? Didn't I say I was going to the positives? Well- I think it is a positive. In a way. I gained- I deserved it, I accepted it and I'm happy about it. I stepped off the scales and a new week began. I  gained 2 1/2lb, which means I am 4 1/2lb away from target. 


I'll give you 2 guesses as to what number I'm aiming for next week!


I'm going to plan this week- I'm going to write everything down actually. People keep asking me for a food diary so I'm going to write it all down starting from tomorrow. It will help me as I'll have a daily accountability and it will possibly help others with their weight loss- what a bonus!!


This week, Julie was on holiday. So another consultant, Liz, stepped in. It was good, I got a lot from chatting to her, even if it was very short. I couldn't stay for the whole of image therapy, I wish I were able to but at least I got something from the bit I was there.


I went over to Liverpool to meet up with Carole (those who don't know who I mean, she's the woman of the year who was at our charity do a few weeks ago- someone who I class as a good friend and she's just an all round awesome girly!) and her son, Jono. We went to Skinni Malinx for a late lunch. Stuffed my face with soup, sausage hotpot and jelly and custard- believe it or not, only 3 syns for the lot!!! Then we went around the shops for a bit and then coffee. I didn't want to leave- but I had my duties as money-taker at the 7pm group! 


Funny story- when I got on the bus, I have a student pass and the picture I have is about 4 years old. The bus driver called me back after I went to sit down and he insisted that the bus pass wasn't mine! He was adamant that it wasn't me in the picture! I explained to him about my weight loss and was lucky enough to have my SW pack in my bag to show him "proof". He apologised, said well done and I sat down- feeling pretty damn awesome, if I'm honest!


I then went to group, took the money, had a natter with Heather, the woman who does the weighing and it was a nice hour or so!


I went home, cooked dinner (hoisin duck skewers, syn free egg fried rice, SW chips and salad) and relaxed for a bit. I was feeling a little disturbed- because of things mentioned before, so went to Kate's for a coffee and a natter. I felt good afterwards- we had a laugh- while she made cake pops, or whatever they're called. 


I'm now home- nearly ready for bed. 


This week is going to be good- I'm determined. I might be feeling vulnerable and a bit "icky" but I have faith that this will pass- I'm not going to feel crappy forever- and I shouldn't let my weight loss be affected by this- because what's it going to solve? Nothing. 


I'm hoping that in the coming days, weeks, my mood will really lift- and I can be where I was, mood wise, this time last month. 


On another positive (nearly forgot!) I have another holiday booked! We booked it, Chris and I, yesterday. A week in Lanzarote, all inclusive (uh oh!! haha). I'm really looking forward to it. We go in just under 15 weeks. So I have plenty of time to get used to maintaining! Time off at both jobs is booked and I am getting excited already! Hoping to be working hard over the summer, crossing fingers for lots of hours to earn some extra pennies!


Ok, it is time for bed for me. I need my rest- I have  a busy day tomorrow- meeting up with a woman my mum works with, never met her before but we've chatted on facebook, she seems awesome. She does SW and is doing really well. Then I need to do some jogging and call the damn tax office!! (I've been meaning to do that for weeks now!!!)


Thanks to everyone who has supported on my journey so far. There are so many people to thank and I will do it one day- but I bet you all know who you are anyway!!

Much Love, 
Tanya x

Being back on track

Hi guys! Long time no speak!


Life has been so hectic for me lately that I've just had no time to do an update- story of my life really!!


The last 2 weeks have been pretty draining for me to say the least. For 11 days, I struggled big time when my best friend decided to take a step back. I was in a state, if I'm honest. Mainly because I didn't know what was going on- I was wondering what I had done, if she was ok, if something had happened. My mind was just racing over and over- my sleeping was terrible, I wasn't rested and I felt like I was in a rut.


After 11 days (I got a text a few days before offering for us to meet and we had a short phone call in my lunchbreak to discuss it) we met up for coffee and she told me what was going on.


In a nutshell, it wasn't something that I had done to her (thank god) and she was ok (double thank god) but it was more about what people were saying ABOUT me in certain situations that was the problem. She heard a lot of negativity around me and she wanted to take time to think about things, how to deal with those issues. It wasn't just about me, she had personal issues to deal with too...


I'm not going to go in depth about what was said- let's just say that people were calling me a few nasty things, making nasty judgements and not bothering to find out the real me or why I do things. Some things, thinking about it, are down to jealousy whereas some things were, I'm hoping, were down to concern for my behaviour, even if it was a poor way of going about it.


Anyway- the most important thing is me and my friend are ok- everything else is just background stuff.


I'm very tired though- had my first good night's sleep last night- still exhausted though- hope for a good sleep tonight- going straight to bed after I've sent this.


Back to weight loss stuff!!

This week I lost 6lb! I was shocked yet rather chuffed. Not only was I back in the 12's (quite comfortably) but I got my 9 1/2 stone award back and for the first time in my adult life I am HEALTHY! bmi of 24.8 which puts me in ideal- oh my god!


Even better I am only 2lb away from target!! It's just there! 


I have had a couple of....naughty days. I went for a meal with a friend on thursday and enjoyed myself- had a few choccies in the evening. Tuesday I had about 20 syns. Nothing major but I just wanted a bit of time to enjoy myself- but every other day I have been within my syns. I am hoping for the 2lb off but if I don't there is always next week!!


I can't wait to wear my target badge with pride!!


Ok- I know it's a short one but it's time for bed. I need my sleep- 6 hours at work tomorrow followed by dinner and going to visit my best friend! She's good at giving me a bit of sanity!


I'm still positive and feeling good- albeit rather drained- but that will pass


Much love,
Tanya x