2012 On Reflection

Hiya guys- I am sitting here thinking about the last year- and I am sitting here with a smile on my face.

I said this time last year that 2011 was a great year and I was looking forward to the year ahead. I started it with a positive attitude, hope and love in my heart and people around me who I love and trust.

This year- it's been amazing, to say the least. Yes it hasn't been without it's ups and downs, but the positives definitely outweighed the negative stuff, no doubt about it!

So what has happened in the last 12 months?

Well the highlights for me:

1) I got to target!
Of course that's the biggy. The thing that I have been striving for and has been the main subject of this blog. 2 years ago I weighed 23 stone (there abouts) and this year I am over 10 stone lighter. One of the proudest moments of my life was when Julie gave me my target members badge. A badge that I wear every week with pride, and that I keep on my bedside table as a reminder of what I have achieved- with the help of my Slimming World group and Julie. 3rd January will mark 6 months since that day and I am STILL there! For the first time since I was about 14 I am in total control of my weight. I still need my weekly support, I can very easily go back to where I was- but I'm here to stay!

2) I ran my first 5k
June, I ran the race for life. Not much training, but I ran without stopping. It was a year more or less to the day that I walked to my SW group for the first time, not getting the bus, taxi or catching a ride off someone. Those steps were the best I ever made- and it showed that success starts with baby steps- and we build it up until we get to our goal. 

3) I gained a twin!
April 17th- I remember it because it was the Tuesday before my 1 year anniversary with Slimming World. I got my 9 stone award and had a total weight loss of 9st 3lb in 12 months. With gratitude, I wrote on the official Slimming World facebook page about my achievement and amongst the "likes" was Carole Wright, Slimming World's woman of the year 2011. Ok I was a little bit starstruck- her story got me every time I read it and the fact that she liked what I posted, well- I was a little excited. I sent her a message and a friendship quickly blossomed. I never thought I would meet someone who was completely on the same wavelength as me, but unfortunately for her (or me!) we are one of the same. Hence why we are twins! Sure she's in her 50's and she's nearly a foot shorter than me- but we are twins! And I love her dearly- she's got me out of some real mental torments- she's finally helped me accept my new body and I am actually learning to love myself. She's amazing- and I am so glad to have her in my life (soppy- I know!)

4) I have been employed for a year!
I got my 1 year badge in work a few weeks ago. It means that for the first time EVER I have held down a job for 12 months without leaving, getting sacked or the company going bust. I moved departments in October, which was a big step for me- I put myself out there, I asked for the job and I was lucky to get a position. I genuinely love my job- I am not just saying that. It's a pleasure to go to work, even if the hours are ungodly! I get on with my colleagues, I believe. Sure I miss the people on checkouts but it's good that I keep in touch with most of them- but Home Shopping is where it is at, I am so happy!

5) Woman of the Year
It was an honour to be voted in as Woman of the Year for my group and to respresent them in the district finals in September. A scary and emotional day. Yes, I didn't get through to the semi finals but I was in the top 8 in the whole district. I am so proud- and I really hope I did my group proud!

There are many more things that I could say- but my mind has gone blank. I'm getting too old for this late night thing!

So what's the plan for 2013?

More of the same! I hope that I'll still be going to Slimming World. I hope that I'll still be in my job. I really hope that I'll still be at a healthy weight.

I am planning on changing my target in the next few weeks- only by a little bit- nothing drastic! I'll focus on each half a stone. We will see how it goes. But I don't feel the need to change anything else- I am happy.

Some people might be reading this and they aren't happy- for whatever reason. All I can say is if there is something you want to change and you have the opportunity to- then do it. If you believe that it's a new year, so it means a new start- then now is the PERFECT time to do it.

Ask yourself- What do I want to change? If it's to lose weight then you know what my recommendation would be. Most of you have read my story, heard it or even seen it as it happened!

You tell yourself though- that you ARE worth the time and effort. Something I didn't believe in at first but I told myself anyway. I thought I wasn't worth a bean- that I was destined to be lonely, unhappy, depressed, physically a mess and mentally worse. But as time went on, the more I TOLD myself that I was worth it- the more I believed it.

And you know what? I AM worth the effort, I AM worth the time and expense- we ALL are- every single one of us. No matter what your past, or situation- YOU ARE WORTH IT!

So get on with that change- why wait another 364 days to say "Thank god that year is over- on to a better year". Nothing changes if nothing changes! 

Baby steps- or even one big leap- like I did joining a Slimming World group in April 2011. That was a big thing and it was one of the best things I have ever done and I have never ever regretted it- and I don't think I ever will.

So 2013- is it going to be YOUR year?

Bring it on!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Memory Loss, Early Starts and New Year Plans

Hi guys- hopefully just a quicky

I was in work this morning and I was told that everyone was coming in at 4am tomorrow- so I would feel like a tool if I didn't join them....I was looking forward to my lie in and strolling in at 7 as Monday is my "late shift" especially since my throat is getting scratchy and I'm not feeling 100%.

But that's ok, 2 hours of night rate- that's some extra pennies!

I have been invited to a party with some friends tomorrow- after worrying that I was going to be spending it alone- it's only in New Brighton so it's local and I'll be amongst friends which is great! I'll stop being in a grump about it!

My memory loss- it's terrible really. I genuinely cannot remember whether I had a rocky road this morning or not! I know I had a yoghurt but I can't remember if I had a rocky road with it- so I'm not sure whether to give myself the benefit of the doubt or not. I've decided as a punishment for not writing it down right away, I'm going to count 3 syns ANYWAY- that will teach me! Counting more syns is better than undercounting I guess!

Scrap that! I just remembered what I had with my yoghurt- it was a banana- definitely not a rocky road! woohoo! So I shall not count it- in fact- I'll have a rocky road right before bed! Whew!

So my accurate food diary!

Breakfast- muller light, banana
Lunch- 2 skinnies (2 syns) 2 linda mc saussies, 2 egg, 3 bacon, tin beans, 2 toast (heb). Berries, muller light.
Dinner- roast beef (all fat removed) roastie (with the amount of fat used it was literally only 1/2 syn to coat it) mash, sweetcorn, peas, broad beans, carrots, onion gravy. More berries and yog
Snacks- Apple, 2 satsuma, plum, rocky road (3)

HEA was the usual milk in my tea- measured
Total syns 5 1/2!
Body magic has been 6 miles walking and I did a few hours on my feet in work which helps!

Ok I am now going to bed- remember kids- scribble AS you nibble! Especially if you're a memory blackhole like me!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Lazy Restful Day

Oh it's been fabulous! I was going to do a few things but decided to have a rest day- since it's back to work tomorrow!

So I just stayed in my PJs until 6.30pm! I then decided to get changed and walk down to a meeting to see friends.

All in all, a calm, peaceful day. Nothing else to report really!

My food for today....

Breakfast- muller light, plum, rocky road (3 syns)
Lunch- 2 skinny lizzies (2) 2 bacon, 2 egg, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes and 2 toast (HEB)
Dinner- 6 chicken skewers (from Iceland- syn free!) hot and spicy stir fry, rice w/quark and herbs. Rocky road (3 syns)
Snacks- 2 apples, muller light
Drinks- pepsi max, tea with milk (measured 300ml 1% milk as HEA)

8 syns today- and feel satisfied!

And 2 miles of walking, which isn't as much as I usually do- but it's still movement!

Tomorrow I'm in work at 6am so I'd better go to my pit!

More blogging soon!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Tattoos, Food and Walking

Today I went with mum and Arty to get booked in for my first ever tattoo! I always said I'd get a tattoo after I lost weight- so now is as good a time as any! I'm booked in for next thursday, after work- we're going at 2pm. The tattooist advised me to eat well beforehand- well, considering the amount I eat on an average day- I'm sure I can manage!!

Talking of food- this is what I've had today...

Breakfast- Apple, muller light, rocky road (1/2heb)
Lunch- Chilli, rice, salad, yoghurt, rocky road (1/2 heb)
Dinner- Braising steak, gravy (1 syn), broccoli, broad beans, sweetcorn, peas, mash. Syn free rice pudding
Snacks- 28g Icing (left over from cake- 5 syns) 2 apples, satsuma
Drinks- pepsi max, tea w/milk (measured 300ml 1%- HEA), fruity tea

I've walked 5 miles today- 1 mile home from my dad's and I walked to a meeting and back- 2 miles each way. I do love my walking- it's just "Ipod in, world out" Just me and whoever I am listening to- my current music crush is Florence and the Machine!

Tomorrow I'm hoping to meet up with Chris for lunch and then out in the evening. But like I always find out, plans can change, so I keep it simple and try and decide on the day. All I know is I intend to fully stick to plan for another day- and do as much body magic as I can, time and energy permitting!!

I see the weekend around the corner- bring it on!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Valentine Heart Challenge

At Christmas time I have seen a few "Little Black Dress" Challenge- where you colour in a part of a dress for every pound you lose- to aim to lose a stone by Christmas.

I have made myself a little Valentines Day one!

There are 14 little hearts to colour in, for each lb in a stone.

Why don't you join me? It works out at about 2lb a week but of course you can aim to lose as much or as little as you want. What a friend of mine did was circle the amount of parts or "hearts" in this case, that they want to lose and coloured those in. If she lost any more then it would be a bonus!

I find these a great incentive and I hope you do too!

So feel free to share, steal, print out! Image is below. The link is also here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/53183159@N04/8318601850/in/photostream/

Much Love,
Tanya x

New Pack, New Week!

The scales weren't as brutal as I expected. Even though the number I'm about to put might sound horrendous.

8lb on

Bearing in mind, that's over 16 days and I have been totally out of control. 

I'm so glad I started back yesterday though! It gives me an extra day to get some weight off. We have a 6 day week because of New Year (Usual weigh in Tuesday, this week was Thursday, next week it's Wednesday then back to Tuesday)

I was in work this morning, and was prepared (with a flask of speed soup!) I finished early so decided to get the black box experience over and done with so I can get my motivation early.

I got my lovely new pack which is all shiny and pretty and I am ready to go!

After coffee with my friend Rach and lunch, it was back to group to see some of my 5pm ladies and gents! It was nice and quiet so had a natter with Julie, which helped me with my motivation too! 

Then it was off to a meeting, coffee with another friend and a power walk home. I've just enjoyed a syn free dinner, courtesy of mum (thanks mum!!)

I'm suitable stuffed, happy, content and just so positive right now! I wish I could share this feeling with everyone!

Food today:

Breakfast- yoghurt
Break- flask speed soup (1/2 HEA for 30g low low)
Lunch- 2x skinny lizzies (2 syns) 2 eggs, 3 bacon, 60g wholemeal bread (HEB)
Dinner- Roast chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, mash, mushy peas, carrot and swede, syn free onion gravy
Snack- 2x apple, satsuma, banana, yoghurt, weetabix oaty bar (3 1/2 syns) icing/marzipan (counting 2 syns but was definitely less- just being on the safe side)
Drinks- tea/coffee (with my milk as 1/2 hea- measured)

7 1/2 syns today- amazing considering it's weigh in day! I must be focused!

So here's to a great week. I need 2lb to get back into target, 4lb to get my 10 stone award back and 8lb to get the whole gain off.....let's see how I go!

Here's to 2013- and target!

Much Love,
Tanya x

I got my Mojo back!

And I know that the first thing that Mum and Niall will say will have something to do with a reference to our dog- Mojo! But not that kind of mojo of course!

Firstly I want to thank everyone for your comments, inboxes and well wishes- it truly means a lot to know that so many people have my back. Most people know how hard it is to lose and maintain their weight. Whether it's 1/2 stone or 20 stone to lose, that extra weight is a big thing. And we understand the heartbreak that it brings. I know I'm not alone (even though sometimes it feels like I am!) and that keeps me motivated- so thank you! I hope that I can help you guys too- we are all in the same boat!

Today I have been on plan- 100% and I feel great (and full!)

My food diary for today (and I know the first bit will have a few funny looks)

Breakfast

2x bowls syn free chilli (hey- don't knock it!)
Berries, banana, muller light yog

Lunch
Ham and pickle Sandwich (1/2 syn for pickle, 60g of weighed Wholemeal bread)

Dinner
2 salmon fillets, rice with quark and herbs, rocket salad, tomatoes, grated carrot and pickled onions
muller light yog

Supper
Speed soup with 30g low low cheese with chilli (seriously if you haven't tried the low low with chilli then you must! It's gorgeous!)

Snacks and drinks
a teeny bit of icing and marzipan that fell off the cake when I was cutting it up (3 syns counted, would definitely have been less than this, but airing on the side of caution)

tea with 1% milk (150ml milk, measured)
fruity tea
pepsi max (w/cherry)
sugar free grape juice

HEA was the low low and the milk (both accurately split in half)
HEB was the bread
3 1/2 syns today.

I usually have at least 5 a day- but I really am satisfied and I had a gazillion syns the last 2 weeks so don't want any more.

Body Magic- walked 5 1/2 miles. Which is just awesome. Feel so much better for it!
Scales this morning said I was under 13 stone still (12st 13) so we shall see what weigh in brings tomorrow.

I have left over speed soup to take to work with me tomorrow, with fruit and yog. Weigh in at 5. Looking forward to accepting the gain and moving on!

Update tomorrow with the news.

Starting as I mean to go on- I am so motivated- I love it!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Being out of control and back to basics!

Hi guys- it seems like I gave up on this just a touch since getting to target, haven't I? I wish I hadn't because maybe I wouldn't be where I am...

Officially- on the Slimming World system, I weigh 12 stone 3lb, which is 3lb under my target weight- yay- how awesome is that, right?

The thing is, that was 2 weeks ago- and straight after that, I lost control. Tanya went back into what I call "fat mode"- eating exactly like I did when I was 23 stone. Sneaky chocolates, bread and butter, pizza, curry, chips....yes, the odd healthy meal and fat free yoghurts but the plan hasn't been around much for the last 2 weeks. So much so that, again, I didn't get weighed. I could use the fact that I was travelling home from Southport and was going straight to a meal with friends, but really, I should have made the effort to get weighed, because that is *my* time.

I did still go to group, like I do every week and I took the money for the 7pm group.

But my control has just not been there. For a couple of days I was perfect, but My heart was just not in it. And I could *feel* the weight go on. Extra pressure on my joints, less energy, feeling miserable....yet I still found myself eating rubbish.

That, my friends, is what we call insanity.

Anyway. I stood on the scales just before (I know, we're not meant to- not accurate etc) and after a day full of eating crap and stodge- Tanya weighs in at 13st 4 1/2lb. that is over a stone heavier than I was 2 weeks ago. Yes some of it is food weight, some of it is water weight from extra stodge, but it is still extra weight. Weight that I can feel!

So my pledge- and you lot as my witnesses.

Today, Christmas day at 9.33pm I am officially BACK on plan! No more christmas choccies, no more cake, no crisps, biscuits and extra bread with butter.

Everything is back to how it was before I got to target. Everything weighed, measured and planned.

It's easy- There is so much I can have that I don't need to restrict. I'll be planning my meals, back on Extra Easy and that weight WILL be off by the time I get weighed on 2nd January. At the very least I will be back at target- just you watch me!

Caz's new group is 8th January and I want to change my target that week- and have a big loss for her- so she can show off! She'll be putting me through my paces, leafleting, dragging people to join up (only joking!) and carrying stuff. Extra body magic!

I'm planning on doing more walking, might even get back to jogging when my body gets back to normal!

Oh I am so determined! Sod the people who have let me down. Sod the people who have suddenly dropped me because I'm not the big news story anymore. I am Tanya, I have (officially) lost 10 stone 4lb and only one person can take that away from me- me! And I don't plan on doing that!

So lets do this! Right now- not new year, not mid January- right. NOW!

I hope you all help me- and if you're struggling with your weight- why not join me? No time like the present- you are worth the effort. If you make excuses you'll just keep staying still. Change starts with a small step- thats how I started- and that's how I plan on continuing my journey!

Merry Christmas!
Much Love,
Tanya x