Thursday, 16 August 2018

Day 3, and a "remember when"

Hi guys! 2 posts in a week! See? I'm committed!

Today marked day 3 of mindful eating. I am really feeling positive about it even though the anxiety is still there. I am using MyFitnessPal to track my food. They also have a pretty decent community/forum to check in. I love challenges and stuff, so I hope this helps spur me on!

I had a situation today that reminded me of a time I really struggled when I was originally on Slimming World- when I got too obsessed about my food intake.

This morning, I went to a meeting and a friend of mine brought me an iced coffee from McDonald's (it's hot as hell here right now and a cold drink was appreciated). I spent over half of the meeting looking at this iced coffee, deciding whether or not I was going to drink it. It had sugar in it, and MyFitnessPal told me that it was 170 calories. Never mind the fact that I had a good breakfast and most of my food was accounted for, and had the calories left over to enjoy it, in the back of my head all I heard was "you can't have that, it's bad!"

Well, I snapped out of it and enjoyed it. Tracked it, appreciated the caffeine and moved on. 

When I did Slimming World, I became extremely obsessed with my weight loss. It was everything to me. After about 6 months, I joined MFP and noticed I could track my food online. Which was great! However, I started eating less and less to "help" with my weight loss. I was eating about 800 calories a day, mostly salads etc and my weight loss plateaued. Not just that, but I was making myself ill. I talked to my consultant and she really helped me realise that under-eating was bad for many reasons- including a decrease in weight loss. As soon as I went back to eating a healthy amount, I lost more weight. Funny, that!

However, remembering my addictive behaviours and how it manifests- it was a real eye-opener for me. One of my sources of support is the woman I spoke to on Monday. I shared the thoughts I had today and she gave me a warning to be careful. She is right. If I am going to do this, I need to do it properly. Not obsessively, not like an addict, but in a way that is not just good for my body, but my mind too!

My action plan for the next few days is to make sure I am prepared for when I work. I'm working tomorrow and Sunday, both 8 1/2 hour shifts. Lately, I have literally been eating nothing at work all day. Maybe a sandwich before I start work but that's it. And when I finish, I am STARVING! Yesterday I took some chilli to work with me. I barely managed half of it (I guess I have no appetite at work some days) but I tried. Tomorrow I'll take chicken salad sandwiches and fruit. That should keep me going!

I really am feeling positive about this. Especially after I got a wonderfully supportive message off my mum this morning. I know that no matter where I am, I have friends and family who love me and who will help me with any struggles I have in my life. And for that, I am extremely grateful!

Much love,
Tanya x

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