Sunday, 22 July 2012

A case of the lonelies

Hiya everyone!

Yeah, so mum is away on holiday for a little while so I am rattling around the house on my own. I'm feeling a touch lonely and it's getting me down a bit. But, I am keeping myself busy- pottering around the house, going for walks and of course, work!

The weather seems to be picking up (hopefully!) so that always lifts my moods up. I enjoyed the walk to work and back and had a little wander round the corner this evening with a friend. The fresh air definitely does me good!

I seem to have a few more hours in work the next couple of weeks- which is good. It means more money. I'm planning on saving a bit since I am not going to be working for a week in September as well as an extra day I am hoping to book off, in case I am lucky enough to be voted group Woman of the Year and then it's off to districts. I'm not being presumptuous here, there are a few contenders. If I don't get voted in, that's ok. I won't go on a tantrum overload or anything! But it's just in case- I would hate to get through then have to work. But, that is time off and that means less money coming in. That is, indeed, if I am still at Asda in September! I hope I am- I would feel lonely if I wasn't!

I'm really looking forward to Tuesday. Caz is coming over in the morning, so after weigh in (I'll have to get weighed at 1pm again...) we're going for lunch. Don't know what after that but lunch is a definite plan! It'll be a laugh- it's great to spend time with her- we seem to have a lot in common. That, and she's a really good friend!

I'm counting down the holiday still- 9 weeks and 1 day to go! So excited! Not completely sorted but I have plenty of time to go before then and a lot to do beforehand. I'm definitely going to be busy the next couple of months!

I'll have to get on with cooking at some point soon- I haven't done a recipe in an age! Watch this space for something new- must get the cook books out!

Ok, time to get some cleaning done. Chris is coming over for lunch tomorrow and I have a 7 hour shift in work afterwards- so want to get as much done as possible!)

Much Love,
Tanya x

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Maintenance and Tiredness

Hello! I can't believe it's been nearly, what, 2 weeks since my last post? Unreal!

Can someone please tell that time to slow down a bit!! There just aren't enough hours in the day!

I wish there was a lot of stuff to fill you in on- but there isn't really....

The last 2 weigh ins were ok. The first week at target I put on 2lb, which was a miracle considering the difficulty I had in actually eating proper food and not rubbish! Then this week I lost the 2lb I put on. So I am now back at 12 stone 6lb in weight, my target weight. 

The joys of a target range (I can put on 3lb or be 3lb under my target weight and still be at target) is I can have a little slip or have a very good week. The leeway is great. So yes, still wearing my target badge with pride!

I have been very tired lately. For 2 weeks I've not slept well at all- kept waking up numerous times, not feeling rested, being a bit moody because of it. I need to work harder on going to bed earlier. I have a busy week ahead with work. 21 hours with Asda and 11 at the off licence, so 32 hours in total. I also have a lot of things to do outside of work so it's going to be tiring. I've got some nice, relaxing music and I'm going to get some Enya CD's for my collection. I'm also going to read more because apparently that is relaxing.

Hopefully that will help!

Right now, apart from the tiredness, life is good. I've reconnected with some old friends and I feel more sociable. I'm not isolating. That's what I did when I was big- I didn't have the confidence to go out often -and when I did I tried to hide from everyone. Now, I am a more confident flutterby. I want to go out, I want to be with people. I am no longer paranoid that people will shout abuse or throw things at me, like in the past. People are cruel, but people don't change. I am "normal". I'm not overweight, I try not to draw attention to myself. Ok, I'm tall but I'm not 7 foot- I'm only about 3 inches taller than the average lady now!

So yes, busy life here- which is great- I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest with you. If I am busy there is less time to think and get depressed over stuff!

Right, back to doing things. I am meant to be going to Chester tonight- going to get some food and see how I feel. I am sleepy- might opt for an early night instead. I'll see in an hour or so.

But I am still here, still at target and still happy! Woo!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Still Alive (and speed soup)

Hello! I've been very busy the last few days so only just managed to sit down and do a post. I'm still alive, still plodding along!

I have to say- this being at target and staying on plan thing is proving to be very difficult! I know that logically I should be sticking to plan but it's like a kid in the candy shop ignoring all rational advice and just running around stuffing sugary and fattening food in my gob!

The thing is, when I eat rubbish, I feel sluggish, not to mention the guilt that tends to come with it. I have become a touch more lazy- mainly because I have been very tired. Oh but why? Partly down to the bad nutrition, no doubt about that!

I know that I don't want to get fat again. I think I need to accept that inside I'm always going to be fat- I'm still going to want to eat rubbish and that will cause me to gain weight. It's not even comfort eating- I have no reason for that- I actually feel good. It's just that I seem to just keep eating and eating

It's scary, because when I listen to Caz, she has said all this and even though I empathised a bit- I didn't realise until right now (as I'm typing) that most, if not ALL of the stuff she talks about is me too! Crap! It's weird when I hear someone talk about themselves and I realise that they're talking about me too!

I think I need to give myself a telling off- because I have worked really hard to get to target, there is no way I want to wreck it in one week with some bad food.

Come on, Tanya- get a grip! You need to get back on that horse and keep at it! Change that "stinking thinking" to something a bit more positive.

I like this new life I've got- I want to keep it, thank you very much! It's only me that can lose it- no one can take it away from me.

Ahh- that's better! I think I needed to get that one out!

I do feel positive- I think I just didn't know what to do with myself- it was like a weight was lifted off me (pardon the pun) and wanted to try and push my luck- but I can't do that. All I need to do is accept this space!

Anyway- people were asking for recipe for speed soup, the one I made last week (I need to make another batch actually)

I made it in 2 pans, just because the big huge pan I usually use is in the shed- and I was making it at 1am- there was no way I was going in the shed for the spidies to eat me! So this is how I did it

2 tins tomatoes
1 tin baked beans (branston of course!)
1 tin mixed beans
5 carrots
1 swede
2 onions
1 leek
red and green pepper
few handfuls broccoli 
1pint chicken stock
1 pint beef stock
mixed herbs, pepper, garlic granules (to taste)

1) dice veggies into bitesized chunks
2) split the ingredients into 2 pans. add the stock (chicken in one pan, beef in the other)
3) add a bit more water if needed, to cover everything
4) cover and leave to simmer until everything is soft (about 20 mins to half an hour usually)
5) leave to cool a bit then blitz thoroughly with hand blender

That's it! It's as simple as that! You can add other veggies if you like! I also usually add some lentils or pearl barley but I couldn't find our stash. If you are adding lentils- just boil in a seperate pan for 10 minutes or so then add to the soup mix. It makes it a bit more filling- but really, I didn't think it was necessary in this case.

Because I am on extra easy, I just added a couple of pieces of chicken to the top to make it even nicer.

Speed soup is meant to be great for speeding up weight loss- mainly because what you are eating is speed, or superspeed soup, which is great for a weight loss boost! It's always been good for me!

Remember though- this recipe has beans in- which means that it's not free on red days, if you are doing red days- only free on EE or green (or just EE if you add meat to it!)

But try it- I think it's lovely! Quite cheap too and does make a lot

And you can freeze it!

Ok it's time for bed for this one- I am in work tomorrow, Monday and Thursday (overtime!) I only had 1 shift last week at Asda and I kinda missed the place. I do like my job ( people give me weird looks when I say that!) and the money isn't bad either! I have a holiday to pay for (in September) and my trip to Canada next year too! The more work I do, the more spending money I have, so that means more day trips out- see I have this sorted!

Ni night, hoping that tomorrow is a positive day- for me AND for you!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

One Journey Ends and Another Begins

I was going to do this last night but my computer decided to have a mild hissy fit. So it has to be today.

I am pleased to announce that after 14 months and 3 weeks, and I have done it! 10 stone 1lb lost and a proud owner of Free Lifetime Membership for Slimming World!

What an amazing 14 1/2 months it has been too!

It's been full of ups and downs but there is nothing I would have changed- not one thing!

I am sitting here, swelling with gratitude and trying to think who to thank, what to say, everything! Let's get the thank you's done now!

Mum- you seem to be the first person to pop into my head to thank. We may have had a few rough years in the past- but I love how our relationship has grown over the last year and a bit. You have been there for me every step of the way, the bringer of food, the kicker of my vastly-shrinking bum! I am so glad that this has helped build our relationship to greater levels. I am so glad to have made you proud! I love you xx

Niall- my amazing little brother! Your fab photoshopping skills are second to none! Always there to do my before/during pictures to help me see the losses myself! You have always lifted me up with encouragement when I needed it! I remember the first time you lifted me up shouting "you're so skinny!!!". I was shocked that I didn't break your back!! We can have such a laugh together now- which was limited in the past sometimes! Long may what we have continue!!

Julie- my consultant- and the woman who has sometimes mentally carried me through parts of this journey. You need way more credit than you get, lady! You were there to welcome me to my first Slimming World group, all that time ago. It feels like yesterday I was sheepishly sitting in my seat listening to the "newbie talk". Walking into that group was the most nerve-racking thing I had ever done, but the best thing! You have the patience of a saint- putting up with me and my grumbles. Thank you for not giving up on me and being there week after week, at the end of the phone or a text and at group! I am so proud to be one of your target members and part of your social team! 

Shena- my inspiration for joining Slimming World. You were the person who first introduced me to the amazing plan- giving me information and tips. If you had not planted that seed, I would not be where I am today- I am forever grateful to you- like you would not believe! You're a good friend- thank you for the motivation and support that you have given me xx

Chris- I don't think I would have lasted long if I had not bought a 12 week countdown to keep me motivated and focused. I couldn't afford that at first and you were there to buy half of it! Not just that but I know you have been there to give me love and support every step of the way! You're my best friend and like family to me- thank you for being there and not giving up on me (even if you are a bad influence when we are on holiday together!!!)

Marg- you have seen me at my worst and still put up with me! I always thought you were a bit mad (in a good way!) I always loved calling you after weigh in every week to tell you how I got on- giving me a pick me up if I ever needed it! One thing I regretted when I was big was I didn't have many pictures taken with you and yours when I visited! But I am sure I will make up for it next year when I come to see you. I am so looking forward to coming to visit you and not be trapped in my body and feeling constantly self conscious! And I *will* get on that water trampoline next time!!! I love you, my little Canadian Gnome xoxoxoxoxox

Kate- you madhead! Bet you thought I was going to forget you! I am so glad Julie introduced us because you have been such a good friend to me the last year or so- even if you are a royal pain in the bum! I can't wait til you get to target and you will make a great consultant one day!

Caz- my newest, and one of my dearest, friends. I love fate sometimes! A facebook "like" started our friendship off! I can't believe that was less than 3 months ago- I feel like we've known each other forever! What you have done with your life over the last 3 years is nothing less than miraculous! Your positivity shines brighter than the sun and it's infectious! It's great to have someone who really understands my head. If there wasn't such a big age (and height!!!!) difference I would say we were twins! I love spending time with you, long may our friendship continue xx

Alan and Jayne- thanks for the laughs, and support. I always love sneaking into the 1pm group to see you guys!

The ladies (and gents!) at all the groups I have been to- THANK YOU!! There are so many to mention- I will always forget to mention one or 2 of you. But if you have been at a group that I have been to- I am thanking you. Be it for a recipe idea, encouragement, a hug when I need it, or just being in the same room as me when I was feeling downtrodden and lonely- you have been a big part of my weight loss- even if you don't realise it! 

Everyone on minimins (Lily, Jo, Cinta, Kate, Sharon, Lisa- and everyone else- sorry if I forgot you!) thanks for being there for me, for the weekly updates and gossip and friendship! We are all in this together!

I'm always paranoid about missing out people! It is nearly 4am, that is my excuse!!

I am now nervous about my next journey- actually staying at this weight! But I have my group, my family, friends and my amazing consultant there with me, every step of the way. I will stil be blogging, still annoying people at group and just generally being here! I am still not done! I have to work on getting a great big life now!

The world is my oyster, so to speak. How exciting is this!

Thanks for being there for me- everyone. I hope that I can help everyone as much as you have all helped me!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Monday, 2 July 2012

Monday Food and the usual nerves!

Pre-weigh in nerves have kicked in big time!! In less than 12 hours I will know how I did this week- and as usual I am really hoping for that target badge! So we shall see! I have done my best- that's all I can do!

I'm nervous because I am getting weighed at 1 and I always tend to do better at my group at 5.....but hopefully I have done enough. Fingers crossed!

I had a lovely night with Caz tonight, putting the world to rights. She's awesome to chat to- and we have a lot in common, so it's nice to chat with someone who understands some things!

Anyway- my noms for today


toffee muller light

2x coffee w/skimmed milk (1)


2x bowl speed soup
ryvita (1 1/2)
peach snackpot (1/2)


2x large bowls speed soup
diced chicken
chicken sandwich (heb)

1/2 galia melon

copious amounts of coffee (milk from my hea)

it might not sound like much today- but I really am full! Speed soup is so filling! I love it! I will be making more of it in the future.

I'll put a recipe up for it soon- just not tonight- I am so tired!

Time for bed! Please keep your fingers crossed for me for tomorrow! I need all the luck I can get I think!!

Much Love,

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Sunday's food- and getting excited!

Hello- Me again!

Today has been busy! I didn't get much sleep last night- was too wired and kept waking up. Paranoid about oversleeping. I actually remember waking up, looking at the time an thinking I was late for work by about 3 hours....when in fact it was half 5 in the morning....obviously when half asleep I have an inability to tell the time!

Anyway- work was very busy- I am so glad I managed to get a decent breakfast eaten first! I didn't stop at all!

I got home and just vegged- because I have been zapped of energy!

Anyway- I am excited because tomorrow, Caz is coming to stay! It's going to be great- I love spending time with her, it's going to be such a laugh! I have the berries and muller lights stocked up so she should be set for the night! 

So definitely something to look forward to!

But of course- pre-weigh in nerves are looming already- and I still have 35 hours to wait! (Not that I'm counting or anything!) I have been good- even though I have been a bit gluttonous today! Still-only had 7 1/2  syns! 

This is what I've had!


2x small wholemeal bread
half tin beans
2x dry fried eggs


lettuce, onion, tomato, cucumber


sf jelly (1 1/2)
packet summer fruits
muller light yoghurt


4x asda tikka skewers (syn free- and I definitely recommend!!)
egg fried rice
leafy salad and tomatoes


rocky road bar (3)
alpen light bar (3)

tub ff natural yog w/ few spoons sweetener

coffee w/milk from my allowance (through the day)

Ok looking at it I don't think it's really that bad. I think because I feel as though I 've stuffed my face, I am a bit more wary of it- but writing it down- that's not bad- I don't think so anyway!

But, tomorrow is going to be mainly speed soup and melon! Desperate time and all that! I hope for that 2.5lb off this week. If I don't, that's ok- just a loss please! But of course, forever hopeful that I'll get to target this week! I feel like I've been good- even ditched the takeaway on friday!!!!

So off to make my soup, before bed. Busy day tomorrow- shopping and cleaning- and need to pop into work anyway to sort something out. It's all good! Hopefully some good news to report....we shall see!

Much Love,
Tanya x