Monday, 31 December 2012

2012 On Reflection

Hiya guys- I am sitting here thinking about the last year- and I am sitting here with a smile on my face.

I said this time last year that 2011 was a great year and I was looking forward to the year ahead. I started it with a positive attitude, hope and love in my heart and people around me who I love and trust.

This year- it's been amazing, to say the least. Yes it hasn't been without it's ups and downs, but the positives definitely outweighed the negative stuff, no doubt about it!

So what has happened in the last 12 months?

Well the highlights for me:

1) I got to target!
Of course that's the biggy. The thing that I have been striving for and has been the main subject of this blog. 2 years ago I weighed 23 stone (there abouts) and this year I am over 10 stone lighter. One of the proudest moments of my life was when Julie gave me my target members badge. A badge that I wear every week with pride, and that I keep on my bedside table as a reminder of what I have achieved- with the help of my Slimming World group and Julie. 3rd January will mark 6 months since that day and I am STILL there! For the first time since I was about 14 I am in total control of my weight. I still need my weekly support, I can very easily go back to where I was- but I'm here to stay!

2) I ran my first 5k
June, I ran the race for life. Not much training, but I ran without stopping. It was a year more or less to the day that I walked to my SW group for the first time, not getting the bus, taxi or catching a ride off someone. Those steps were the best I ever made- and it showed that success starts with baby steps- and we build it up until we get to our goal. 

3) I gained a twin!
April 17th- I remember it because it was the Tuesday before my 1 year anniversary with Slimming World. I got my 9 stone award and had a total weight loss of 9st 3lb in 12 months. With gratitude, I wrote on the official Slimming World facebook page about my achievement and amongst the "likes" was Carole Wright, Slimming World's woman of the year 2011. Ok I was a little bit starstruck- her story got me every time I read it and the fact that she liked what I posted, well- I was a little excited. I sent her a message and a friendship quickly blossomed. I never thought I would meet someone who was completely on the same wavelength as me, but unfortunately for her (or me!) we are one of the same. Hence why we are twins! Sure she's in her 50's and she's nearly a foot shorter than me- but we are twins! And I love her dearly- she's got me out of some real mental torments- she's finally helped me accept my new body and I am actually learning to love myself. She's amazing- and I am so glad to have her in my life (soppy- I know!)


4) I have been employed for a year!
I got my 1 year badge in work a few weeks ago. It means that for the first time EVER I have held down a job for 12 months without leaving, getting sacked or the company going bust. I moved departments in October, which was a big step for me- I put myself out there, I asked for the job and I was lucky to get a position. I genuinely love my job- I am not just saying that. It's a pleasure to go to work, even if the hours are ungodly! I get on with my colleagues, I believe. Sure I miss the people on checkouts but it's good that I keep in touch with most of them- but Home Shopping is where it is at, I am so happy!

5) Woman of the Year
It was an honour to be voted in as Woman of the Year for my group and to respresent them in the district finals in September. A scary and emotional day. Yes, I didn't get through to the semi finals but I was in the top 8 in the whole district. I am so proud- and I really hope I did my group proud!

There are many more things that I could say- but my mind has gone blank. I'm getting too old for this late night thing!

So what's the plan for 2013?

More of the same! I hope that I'll still be going to Slimming World. I hope that I'll still be in my job. I really hope that I'll still be at a healthy weight.

I am planning on changing my target in the next few weeks- only by a little bit- nothing drastic! I'll focus on each half a stone. We will see how it goes. But I don't feel the need to change anything else- I am happy.


Some people might be reading this and they aren't happy- for whatever reason. All I can say is if there is something you want to change and you have the opportunity to- then do it. If you believe that it's a new year, so it means a new start- then now is the PERFECT time to do it.

Ask yourself- What do I want to change? If it's to lose weight then you know what my recommendation would be. Most of you have read my story, heard it or even seen it as it happened!


You tell yourself though- that you ARE worth the time and effort. Something I didn't believe in at first but I told myself anyway. I thought I wasn't worth a bean- that I was destined to be lonely, unhappy, depressed, physically a mess and mentally worse. But as time went on, the more I TOLD myself that I was worth it- the more I believed it.

And you know what? I AM worth the effort, I AM worth the time and expense- we ALL are- every single one of us. No matter what your past, or situation- YOU ARE WORTH IT!


So get on with that change- why wait another 364 days to say "Thank god that year is over- on to a better year". Nothing changes if nothing changes! 

Baby steps- or even one big leap- like I did joining a Slimming World group in April 2011. That was a big thing and it was one of the best things I have ever done and I have never ever regretted it- and I don't think I ever will.

So 2013- is it going to be YOUR year?

Bring it on!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 30 December 2012

Memory Loss, Early Starts and New Year Plans

Hi guys- hopefully just a quicky

I was in work this morning and I was told that everyone was coming in at 4am tomorrow- so I would feel like a tool if I didn't join them....I was looking forward to my lie in and strolling in at 7 as Monday is my "late shift" especially since my throat is getting scratchy and I'm not feeling 100%.

But that's ok, 2 hours of night rate- that's some extra pennies!

I have been invited to a party with some friends tomorrow- after worrying that I was going to be spending it alone- it's only in New Brighton so it's local and I'll be amongst friends which is great! I'll stop being in a grump about it!

My memory loss- it's terrible really. I genuinely cannot remember whether I had a rocky road this morning or not! I know I had a yoghurt but I can't remember if I had a rocky road with it- so I'm not sure whether to give myself the benefit of the doubt or not. I've decided as a punishment for not writing it down right away, I'm going to count 3 syns ANYWAY- that will teach me! Counting more syns is better than undercounting I guess!

Scrap that! I just remembered what I had with my yoghurt- it was a banana- definitely not a rocky road! woohoo! So I shall not count it- in fact- I'll have a rocky road right before bed! Whew!

So my accurate food diary!

Breakfast- muller light, banana
Lunch- 2 skinnies (2 syns) 2 linda mc saussies, 2 egg, 3 bacon, tin beans, 2 toast (heb). Berries, muller light.
Dinner- roast beef (all fat removed) roastie (with the amount of fat used it was literally only 1/2 syn to coat it) mash, sweetcorn, peas, broad beans, carrots, onion gravy. More berries and yog
Snacks- Apple, 2 satsuma, plum, rocky road (3)

HEA was the usual milk in my tea- measured
Total syns 5 1/2!
Body magic has been 6 miles walking and I did a few hours on my feet in work which helps!

Ok I am now going to bed- remember kids- scribble AS you nibble! Especially if you're a memory blackhole like me!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Saturday, 29 December 2012

Lazy Restful Day

Oh it's been fabulous! I was going to do a few things but decided to have a rest day- since it's back to work tomorrow!

So I just stayed in my PJs until 6.30pm! I then decided to get changed and walk down to a meeting to see friends.

All in all, a calm, peaceful day. Nothing else to report really!

My food for today....


Breakfast- muller light, plum, rocky road (3 syns)
Lunch- 2 skinny lizzies (2) 2 bacon, 2 egg, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes and 2 toast (HEB)
Dinner- 6 chicken skewers (from Iceland- syn free!) hot and spicy stir fry, rice w/quark and herbs. Rocky road (3 syns)
Snacks- 2 apples, muller light
Drinks- pepsi max, tea with milk (measured 300ml 1% milk as HEA)

8 syns today- and feel satisfied!

And 2 miles of walking, which isn't as much as I usually do- but it's still movement!


Tomorrow I'm in work at 6am so I'd better go to my pit!

More blogging soon!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Friday, 28 December 2012

Tattoos, Food and Walking

Today I went with mum and Arty to get booked in for my first ever tattoo! I always said I'd get a tattoo after I lost weight- so now is as good a time as any! I'm booked in for next thursday, after work- we're going at 2pm. The tattooist advised me to eat well beforehand- well, considering the amount I eat on an average day- I'm sure I can manage!!

Talking of food- this is what I've had today...

Breakfast- Apple, muller light, rocky road (1/2heb)
Lunch- Chilli, rice, salad, yoghurt, rocky road (1/2 heb)
Dinner- Braising steak, gravy (1 syn), broccoli, broad beans, sweetcorn, peas, mash. Syn free rice pudding
Snacks- 28g Icing (left over from cake- 5 syns) 2 apples, satsuma
Drinks- pepsi max, tea w/milk (measured 300ml 1%- HEA), fruity tea

I've walked 5 miles today- 1 mile home from my dad's and I walked to a meeting and back- 2 miles each way. I do love my walking- it's just "Ipod in, world out" Just me and whoever I am listening to- my current music crush is Florence and the Machine!

Tomorrow I'm hoping to meet up with Chris for lunch and then out in the evening. But like I always find out, plans can change, so I keep it simple and try and decide on the day. All I know is I intend to fully stick to plan for another day- and do as much body magic as I can, time and energy permitting!!


I see the weekend around the corner- bring it on!!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Valentine Heart Challenge

At Christmas time I have seen a few "Little Black Dress" Challenge- where you colour in a part of a dress for every pound you lose- to aim to lose a stone by Christmas.

I have made myself a little Valentines Day one!

There are 14 little hearts to colour in, for each lb in a stone.

Why don't you join me? It works out at about 2lb a week but of course you can aim to lose as much or as little as you want. What a friend of mine did was circle the amount of parts or "hearts" in this case, that they want to lose and coloured those in. If she lost any more then it would be a bonus!

I find these a great incentive and I hope you do too!

So feel free to share, steal, print out! Image is below. The link is also here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/53183159@N04/8318601850/in/photostream/



Much Love,
Tanya x

Thursday, 27 December 2012

New Pack, New Week!

The scales weren't as brutal as I expected. Even though the number I'm about to put might sound horrendous.

8lb on

Bearing in mind, that's over 16 days and I have been totally out of control. 

I'm so glad I started back yesterday though! It gives me an extra day to get some weight off. We have a 6 day week because of New Year (Usual weigh in Tuesday, this week was Thursday, next week it's Wednesday then back to Tuesday)

I was in work this morning, and was prepared (with a flask of speed soup!) I finished early so decided to get the black box experience over and done with so I can get my motivation early.

I got my lovely new pack which is all shiny and pretty and I am ready to go!

After coffee with my friend Rach and lunch, it was back to group to see some of my 5pm ladies and gents! It was nice and quiet so had a natter with Julie, which helped me with my motivation too! 

Then it was off to a meeting, coffee with another friend and a power walk home. I've just enjoyed a syn free dinner, courtesy of mum (thanks mum!!)

I'm suitable stuffed, happy, content and just so positive right now! I wish I could share this feeling with everyone!

Food today:

Breakfast- yoghurt
Break- flask speed soup (1/2 HEA for 30g low low)
Lunch- 2x skinny lizzies (2 syns) 2 eggs, 3 bacon, 60g wholemeal bread (HEB)
Dinner- Roast chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, mash, mushy peas, carrot and swede, syn free onion gravy
Snack- 2x apple, satsuma, banana, yoghurt, weetabix oaty bar (3 1/2 syns) icing/marzipan (counting 2 syns but was definitely less- just being on the safe side)
Drinks- tea/coffee (with my milk as 1/2 hea- measured)

7 1/2 syns today- amazing considering it's weigh in day! I must be focused!


So here's to a great week. I need 2lb to get back into target, 4lb to get my 10 stone award back and 8lb to get the whole gain off.....let's see how I go!

Here's to 2013- and target!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

I got my Mojo back!

And I know that the first thing that Mum and Niall will say will have something to do with a reference to our dog- Mojo! But not that kind of mojo of course!

Firstly I want to thank everyone for your comments, inboxes and well wishes- it truly means a lot to know that so many people have my back. Most people know how hard it is to lose and maintain their weight. Whether it's 1/2 stone or 20 stone to lose, that extra weight is a big thing. And we understand the heartbreak that it brings. I know I'm not alone (even though sometimes it feels like I am!) and that keeps me motivated- so thank you! I hope that I can help you guys too- we are all in the same boat!

Today I have been on plan- 100% and I feel great (and full!)

My food diary for today (and I know the first bit will have a few funny looks)

Breakfast

2x bowls syn free chilli (hey- don't knock it!)
Berries, banana, muller light yog

Lunch
Ham and pickle Sandwich (1/2 syn for pickle, 60g of weighed Wholemeal bread)

Dinner
2 salmon fillets, rice with quark and herbs, rocket salad, tomatoes, grated carrot and pickled onions
muller light yog

Supper
Speed soup with 30g low low cheese with chilli (seriously if you haven't tried the low low with chilli then you must! It's gorgeous!)

Snacks and drinks
a teeny bit of icing and marzipan that fell off the cake when I was cutting it up (3 syns counted, would definitely have been less than this, but airing on the side of caution)

tea with 1% milk (150ml milk, measured)
fruity tea
pepsi max (w/cherry)
sugar free grape juice

HEA was the low low and the milk (both accurately split in half)
HEB was the bread
3 1/2 syns today.

I usually have at least 5 a day- but I really am satisfied and I had a gazillion syns the last 2 weeks so don't want any more.

Body Magic- walked 5 1/2 miles. Which is just awesome. Feel so much better for it!
Scales this morning said I was under 13 stone still (12st 13) so we shall see what weigh in brings tomorrow.

I have left over speed soup to take to work with me tomorrow, with fruit and yog. Weigh in at 5. Looking forward to accepting the gain and moving on!

Update tomorrow with the news.

Starting as I mean to go on- I am so motivated- I love it!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Being out of control and back to basics!

Hi guys- it seems like I gave up on this just a touch since getting to target, haven't I? I wish I hadn't because maybe I wouldn't be where I am...

Officially- on the Slimming World system, I weigh 12 stone 3lb, which is 3lb under my target weight- yay- how awesome is that, right?

The thing is, that was 2 weeks ago- and straight after that, I lost control. Tanya went back into what I call "fat mode"- eating exactly like I did when I was 23 stone. Sneaky chocolates, bread and butter, pizza, curry, chips....yes, the odd healthy meal and fat free yoghurts but the plan hasn't been around much for the last 2 weeks. So much so that, again, I didn't get weighed. I could use the fact that I was travelling home from Southport and was going straight to a meal with friends, but really, I should have made the effort to get weighed, because that is *my* time.

I did still go to group, like I do every week and I took the money for the 7pm group.


But my control has just not been there. For a couple of days I was perfect, but My heart was just not in it. And I could *feel* the weight go on. Extra pressure on my joints, less energy, feeling miserable....yet I still found myself eating rubbish.

That, my friends, is what we call insanity.


Anyway. I stood on the scales just before (I know, we're not meant to- not accurate etc) and after a day full of eating crap and stodge- Tanya weighs in at 13st 4 1/2lb. that is over a stone heavier than I was 2 weeks ago. Yes some of it is food weight, some of it is water weight from extra stodge, but it is still extra weight. Weight that I can feel!

So my pledge- and you lot as my witnesses.

Today, Christmas day at 9.33pm I am officially BACK on plan! No more christmas choccies, no more cake, no crisps, biscuits and extra bread with butter.

Everything is back to how it was before I got to target. Everything weighed, measured and planned.


It's easy- There is so much I can have that I don't need to restrict. I'll be planning my meals, back on Extra Easy and that weight WILL be off by the time I get weighed on 2nd January. At the very least I will be back at target- just you watch me!

Caz's new group is 8th January and I want to change my target that week- and have a big loss for her- so she can show off! She'll be putting me through my paces, leafleting, dragging people to join up (only joking!) and carrying stuff. Extra body magic!

I'm planning on doing more walking, might even get back to jogging when my body gets back to normal!

Oh I am so determined! Sod the people who have let me down. Sod the people who have suddenly dropped me because I'm not the big news story anymore. I am Tanya, I have (officially) lost 10 stone 4lb and only one person can take that away from me- me! And I don't plan on doing that!


So lets do this! Right now- not new year, not mid January- right. NOW!

I hope you all help me- and if you're struggling with your weight- why not join me? No time like the present- you are worth the effort. If you make excuses you'll just keep staying still. Change starts with a small step- thats how I started- and that's how I plan on continuing my journey!

Merry Christmas!
Much Love,
Tanya x

Friday, 9 November 2012

Oh Look Who It Is!!!

Hellooooooooooooooo!

I'm blowing the cobwebs off this thing and doing a well overdue post!

Hi guys- did you miss me? I totally know you did!!!

So a lot has happened since my last post! 

My holiday was great- the weather was nice and warm, bit cloudy and windy but still averaged 26+ degrees- and I managed to get myself a nice little tan- for the first time in a looooooong time!!!

I ate well, drank a lot of diet coke and water- but after the 3rd day I got a case of Lanzarote belly (I really feel bad that I was that ill I was a touch- a lot- "dramatic" but I don't cope well with being ill!) So I just had Jam on toast for 1 meal, which is what I always had when I was ill as a kid- then I found the pastries and pizza....and burgers......it was a massacre!!!

But when I was behaving, the food was nice

I always made sure that I still had my superfree food on the plate-there was a great selection of salads and veggies so I never went without.

Once I found the pastries though, that was it! I was like a woman possessed!

I did have a good time though, and loved spending some quality time with Chris.

I managed to conquer the nerves and wear a bikini too! That was a big hurdle for me since my body image still isn't fantastic, but I survived! No one cringed, screamed, gouged their eyes out with blunt impliments!

I even managed a picture with the bikini on! But I have decided to keep it tame and just show one of the snaps from when we went out for the morning to the local beach!


Proof that I was indeed there!!

I even met a lovely family a couple of days before leaving, so I had a laugh with them, a little dance, late night natters, etc. It was great!

I was sad to leave, but looking forward to get home at the same time- I knew I had a fresh start with work and I was eager to get started with that!

So yes- work! I am officially a "personal shopper" in the Home Shopping department at Asda Liscard!

We did our training in Warrington for a couple of weeks, they had been doing Home Shopping for years- so they were like a well oiled machine. I learnt a lot from them- got a lot of experience and I thought it was great fun (even though I am still getting used to the early starts!)

We went live on Halloween. A few of us dressed up for the occasion- since I don't do halloweeny things, I just went to work in my new Eeyore onesie (that I am sporting now, funnily enough!) I got a lot of smiles- a few of the little kids who were there loved it, some even came to say hello! It was lovely.

The first shift went reasonably well- considering we apparently now hold the record for the most amount of orders in a first day EVER! We're just that awesome!

It's getting easier now we're getting into the swing of it!

There was a little incident last Sunday where I had a dizzy spell and banged my head quite bad on a metal beam- I was sent home- went the walk in centre that evening and the doctor said I had concussion. It's only been today really that I've started to feel more myself! Thank goodness I'm over most of it at least! But I have been in work all week- because I really didn't want to miss out on the hours- and I actually really enjoy my job!!

Now- weight wise- since this is my weight loss blog- might as well mention it!

When I got back off my holiday I gained 8lb. I food optimised to the MAX that week and stepped on the scales a week later- 8lb lighter! So lost my holiday gain in a week- happy days!

That week though, I struggled- big time. I couldn't stop eating rubbish- it was as though I was back to 23 stone. I got a big pep talk off Caz and I managed to get over the worst of it. The following Tuesday, however, I made a conscious decision not to get weighed- which was a first for me. My scales were saying an 8lb gain- again- and I just couldn't face the scales. I was 100% on plan though.

So the week after I got weighed- official result- 4lb gain (or according to my scales a 4lb loss- are you keeping up?) I was still determined and stuck to plan 100% because I had my week's grace- I was 2lb out of my target range- I had to lose that otherwise I was paying!

Caz was visiting the week after that- doing talks on the Monday and Tuesday. I got weighed at the group she was doing the talk at on the Tuesday- a Birkenhead group. The scales weighed me at 5lb lighter! That actually took me to my true target weight of 12st 6lb. I was over the moon!

This takes us to last week. I was 100% again, hoping to lose 1-2lb to get more comfortably into my target range. I stood on the scales on Tuesday- 1lb off. This is the lightest I've been for the best part of 2 months so I am happy. I did overdo the "treats" on Tuesday, however! But Wednesday-onwards (ok it's only Friday, buuuuuuut.....) I have been back on plan. I even went for a meal with Chris on Wednesday and stuck to plan.

I am now determined to stay back on track. I am considering changing my target after Christmas, so need to gain that control back and KEEP IT!!!

I've missed blogging- I forgot how good it is to get it all out and have a chat with you guys!!

I'm planning on getting back into it- back to recipes, motivation and inspiration!

This blog is nearly at 20,000 page views- it's crazy!

Ok it's time for bed- I'm not used to being up so late! 

Much Love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Finals, Overeating and Holidays!

Hello you lot! 

Sorry it's been so long. Being honest, I have felt like such a grot lately, I've just had no energy to do an update. It's been a tough week and a bit.

The Woman of the Year district finals were last Sunday- what a day that was! I was nervous, emotional and a wreck by the end of it. There were 31 of us on the day- out of something like 275 group winners.

I got into the final 8 and stood up and told my story in front of a group of strangers. It was quite an experience. I wasn't in the comfort of my Slimming World room, but in a big room, surrounded by members and consultants.

I unfortunately didn't progress to the semis. There were 2 winners, one lady from Wales, with a 15 1/2 stone loss and a lady from my local area with a 14 1/2 stone loss. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Truth be told, with so much positive energy from people, I was expecting to progress. That's dangerous for me. I know if I get my hopes up, or if someone else does it for me, that I feel like a complete failure if I don't succeed.

Listening to the inspirational stories from all the women in the top 8, I remember looking at Julie and shaking my head as if to say "I haven't won this". 

I went home afterwards feeling like I somehow failed. Oh boy did I ever wallow in self pity- armed with a cake, swiss roll and copious amounts of toast.....Then sitting there thinking "Tanya, have the last 18 months taught you nothing?"

Monday I went for a meal with an old uni mate and hit the gluten and carbs again. Afterwards I went to visit Caz. Really the best thing I could have done to be honest. Sometimes you just need a mate to rant to, get the emotions out then sit and talk crap and watch tv with. She fed me well, mushy pea curry and half syn cake. We watched John Bishop on DVD and had a laugh. Definitely what this flutterby needed!

I went to weigh in the next day- still full of food, 3lb heavier than the week before. I knew it wasn't a true weight gain- as I weighed 12st 4.5lb on sunday and 12st 7lb on Tuesday.

I was determined to stay at target by the time I got back off my holidays. And I have been ok.

And I really just mean "ok". Wednesday up until, well, about 2 hours ago, I didn't go over my syns. I had 2 b's, as is my entitlement, being at target. But I have been eating way more than usual. In fact, I just couldn't stop sometimes. Going back to eating on emotion, just a little bit.

Thinking positive though, last time I went away on holiday- from the weigh in on Tuesday to me leaving on Monday morning all I did was eat rubbish- pizza, takeaways, chocolate..........anything! This time, apart from some chocolate at around midnight, I have been quite good where syns are concerned. Definite improvement!

So I'm going on holiday in 6 1/2 hours. Of course I'm not finished with my preparations yet! But that's ok- I'm just double checking things. I thought doing a blog was more important, mainly because I needed to get this out. 

Actually- I've gotten out for a few days- this emotional stuff. This ego deflation. I found it hard to accept that I didn't do "as well" as people expected me to. I felt like a failure. I felt like I had something to prove, yet I couldn't prove it.

Oh what rubbish!

After a long chat with someone on Thursday, I really accepted the events of the last week. Truth is, no one, apart from me actually, can take away the fact that I have lost 10 stone. No one can take away the change that has had on me, how my life has gone from the pathetic, despairing, grotty pit of horridness, to something meaningful and rewarding.
I don't need a sash or a title to say that I am a target member or to be a help or inspiration to others. Of course winning Woman of the Year would have been a huge honour- even having the opportunity to go to head office. But the truth is, and I accept it now, it just wasn't my time. It mightn't ever be my time. But that's ok.

I can move forward with acceptance and a bit more positivity. I have so much going for me now- which I didn't have when I was 22 1/2 stone. My job, which is going permanent. My health, mentally and physically. My friendships, even though I had some friends, I didn't have many- I now don't have fear of forming friendships today.

Most importantly- I can keep telling my story. Hopefully with that comes inspiration for other people- showing people that it *can* be done. I needed inspiration when I was starting out- and I still do now to some extent! I don't have this cracked- I still need my support network, friends and family surrounding me!

So this flutterby has some hope.

And this flutterby is really looking forward to her holiday- especially wearing a bikini for the first time in FOREVER!!! I'm sure there will be lots of pictures- my camera is charging as I type (maybe not bikini pictures but I'm sure lots of other piccies!)

So be good- and see you all when I get back!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Friday, 14 September 2012

Fat Flutterby is 1!

Happy Birthday to my little blog! 

So much has happened in that time- ups, downs and a few in-betweeny moments!

I've just looked at the stats and this blog has over 16,700 page views and 63 followers! That is insane! I just thought it was going to be me, chatting to myself on my own!

In the last year, I have received a few inboxes off people who have been touched by reading my posts. They have either found identification, inspiration or hope. 

I never thought in a million years I would be an inspiration to someone. Nor did I think I would ever be able to offer someone some hope. As you all will know from reading my previous posts, or from knowing me personally, I was in a state before I found my local Slimming World group. My weight had gotten me down so much that I didn't think I had much hope in living much longer.

It's amazing how much life can change in such a short space of time. I am happy, content, without fear. I can go out, enjoy company of others and even enjoy my own company. I am still Tanya, just happier, more gobby and 10 stone lighter!

Knowing that others have gotten something from this blog makes things even more worthwhile. My life is great- and I want others to experience that too. I want others to see that if I can lose the weight, so can they- whether it's 10lb or 10 stone+. Any amount of weight to lose is life changing and if you have lost even just 1/2lb then you are winning- you are closer to target than when you started.

The point is not giving up. Just putting one foot in front of the other and plodding along. Even if it's slower than you want it to be- you didn't put the weight on overnight. It took me 8 years to get to the size I did. As long as I aimed for the little targets and as long as I didn't give up, I knew I was going to be ok!

Ok- now, more of an update next time- it is totally time for bed.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog over the last year- here's to another great year! Hopefully more of us wearing our target badges with pride!!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Doing the Talk and Remembering....

Whew! I am so tired! Yesterday really took it out of me!

Got up at about 7am, realised that I forgot my weigh in clothes (I wasn't at home). So on the way to group, I popped into Asda to get a pair of leggings- since all I had was vesty tops and jeans!

I decided to get weighed at the 9am group so I could eat a decent breakfast. I lost 3lb this week- taking my total loss to 10 stone 3lb. I'm 2lb under my target weight but still in my range- which is ideal.

I was there to practice my 5 minute talk, which I will be doing at the District finals of Woman of the Year on Sunday. So I was there all day!

The 9am group was PACKED!! Quite a few new members and it was standing room only! A nervous start but once I started I was fine. I had a couple of people come to me afterwards and say how their journey is. There were a few people saying how my talk has helped them refocus and keep at their weight loss- which was just fantastic!


The 11am group was lovely too- and the 1pm group had me well fed (thanks Alan!!) 

Between the 1pm and 5pm group, Julie and I worked on the board for the finals- which I've been sworn to secrecy about until Sunday- but I shall post it up on Sunday- promise! You'll love it!

5pm I had a nice break- nattered to the members, most of which are like my family now! and just chilled with a hot choc and a rocky road bar. It was great to be there- we have 2 brand new target members- one of which is my lovely friend, Maz, who always says she only joined up to give me a free week! There she was, over 2 1/2 stone lighter and a brand new target member! Amazing!

7pm was a great group- I take the money for that group but not ever stayed for the group- it was fantastic!

What I love about all of the groups is every one of them is different- but are all amazing! I got something from every one of those groups on Tuesday!

I have even more respect for Julie too, after yesterday which I never thought possible- since I respect her tonnes as it is! But being there for 14 hours, doing what she does, it's incredible. The woman is amazing! She's there for every one of her members and will always take time to speak to them. 

Anyway- she hates it when I big her up like that- but I think she deserves the recognition!!

I had a few people come to me and tell me about their journeys, what it's like for them, or what it was like. If they were struggling, etc. It was humbling, to say the least. People see me or hear my story and sometimes get inspiration and hope from it. I needed that throughout my journey- and still do. The joys of Slimming World is we ARE all there to support each other. We can all inspire others and we can all seek inspiration- whether we're in our first week or if we've been at target for 10 years!


After reading a very emotional comment on my blog just now, it makes me remember how bad it was for me, before I started to lose the weight. The depths of despair, the depression, the horrible thinking and the desperation to get the help and to not be the person I was...

I am such a lucky girly to have found the love and support that I have got, through SW. I sense that non- Slimming World friends on my facebook could be getting bored- but I am so passionate about the plan that I can't help but shout about it from the roof tops!

Slimming World, the members, my consultant and other people i've met along the way, have a huge part to play in my weight loss. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I really wish I could encourage more people to do this, if they want to lose weight.

It doesn't have to be a case of life or death for everyone- a lot of people do it to fit into a certain outfit, or to look good for photos on their holidays. For some, like me, it was the end point, the rock bottom. I have no shame in saying that I wanted to die. I was in the depths of despare and Slimming World WAS my last chance.

Today, people who read this blog can see the difference. People who know me personally even more so. I am still Tanya, I am still me with different packaging. I'm just more gobby, more happy and actually love my life. 

I hope that people continue to get something out of my journey- even if it's just a bit of identification. I remember feeling so alone when I was at my biggest- that others would never understand what it was like to be the size I was. I thought I was the only person in the world to feel the way I did. So if someone sees my story and says "that was me", maybe that will help them a bit. That's all I wish for.

And of course- looking at peoples' journeys keeps me going too. Thats why I stay for image therapy, that's why I love reading other blogs and inboxes.

Right! I must get to my pit- it's half 2 in the morning and I was planning on an early night!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Mushy Pea Curry and Being Positively Saintly!

Hey you lot- just realised it's been a while, so thought a quick update before bed was in order!

I have been so good this week! I have had a couple of moments where I have eaten a bit more than I should- but mostly free food. I had a treat on Tuesday- but it was Chicken and black bean- I had a couple of hot chocolates in group- but it was a grand total of 14 1/2 syns- still within my syn allowance for the day. 

I have cut down my healthy extras this week. See, when you get to target, you get an extra Healthy B a day, to help with maintaining your target weight. Because I want to lose this week, I decide to go back down to 1.

Last week I put on 1.5lb which is fine, I'm still in my target range, just 1lb over my original target weight (we can go 3lb either way) But that gets me dead on 10 stone loss. So I really want to get close to the bottom end of my target. Not only for the Woman of the Year district finals (which are in less than a week now- this coming Sunday!) but I am going on holiday in 2 weeks and I wouldn't mind getting to the bottom end of target, to be on the safe side. The last thing I want to do is slip out of target and pay!

But I intend on being a bit more in control than last time, though. I can be more prepared. I think when I went away in May, I struggled because it was my first time away since starting Slimming World. This time- flutterby is prepped!

So yes- I have been very well behaved- I've got 1 more day to make it happen- so I am opting for a red day. I really hope I can get the loss I want. We shall see on Tuesday morning (getting weighed early) all I can do is my best- and accept whatever the scales say- good or bad!

I cooked today! Mushy pea curry (don't wrinkle your nose!!) Actually- that's what I did when I heard about it! It took me to pluck up the courage to try it. It was only because someone made it on Tuesday at group and I tried it- oh yum!!

It's nice and simple

1 tin mushy peas
1 tin beans
1 tin chopped tomatoes
2 small onions
handful mushrooms
garlic
curry powder

1) dry fry onions, mushrooms and garlic
2) add peas, beans and tomatoes
3) mix in curry powder, to taste. I put in 1tsp of Medium powder, could have done with a teensy bit more for me, but didn't want to overdo it.
4) blitz with food processor until it's at your preferred consistency. 

I threw in some chicken pieces on top and served with rice and salad.

The curry itself (without chicken) is totally free on green and extra easy (even with the chicken it's free on EE) and is rather tasty! I definitely recommend it!

Anyway- it's time for me to head to bed- I'm having some pictures taken for my board tomorrow- after piccies of course! I have to post a package as well, and I'm in work for 5. I'm meeting Caz afterwards, since she's up this way doing her "thing" (her amazing talk). Busy busy

Keep those fingers crossed for tuesday please!

Much Love
Tanya x

Monday, 3 September 2012

Enjoying the Sun and New Job Prospects

Hey guys, sorry for the gap between updates- I seem to have had no time to myself to just sit and write one!

Firstly- I thought I'd share- today (3rd September) marks exactly 2 months since I got to target! Wow, doesn't time fly. It's crazy- it only feels like a few weeks since that moment. I am still there, still at group, still at target. Still food optimising- definitely something I intend on doing for a while yet because I want to stay at target- and this is the best way of going about it.

So lately, when the weather has been picking up, I have found myself outside, basking in the warm light. Just me and my ipod. I love it- I find a brisk walk really lifts my mood now. 

I have been filling out the application form for the Woman of the Year competition and I have been thinking a lot about what I was like before losing weight. And I still get surprised at how different I am in some ways. The fact that I can now just go out for a walk, without fear, without physical limitations and without panic attacks. I can talk to people and be Tanya, rather than be the person that I think they want me to be. I may use humour a lot- but I don't use it to mask how I'm really feeling, which is what I always used to do. I was always the first person to say I was fat, because if I did that, then people would be less likely to insult me because of my size.

Now, I'm happy with me. I have fear sometimes but I am not fearful. I don't let it take over my life.

There is a big huge life out there for me and I am going to enjoy it! I'm 24 and finally able to live! 

I don't know if you can tell but I do have a little bit of gratitude. my life is good- that is down to Slimming World!

I've been offered a permanent contract in work- which is another big thing that is totally awesome! It's in a different department- Home Shopping, as a Personal Shopper (or "picker"). Basically what we will be doing is when someone orders their shopping online, we get their shopping for them! There are a few people I know that have got the same job that I will be working with- which I am super excited about! I am so glad that I will know people that I'll be working with, rather than starting afresh. And it's people I get on with too.

I've been offered 20 hours a week, all early starts- very early. But it's permanent! I get paid holidays, regular contracted hours and I won't have to rely on the rota to know what I'm working every week!

So it's all good here right now!

The deadline for the Woman of the Year application is Wednesday. It's all written out in rough, I'm going to write it out in neat tomorrow- in my bestest handwriting!! The district finals are less than 2 weeks away, so I'm going to stock up on tissues because I think a few tears are going to be let out on that day! It's going to be a good day- lots of inspirational stories!

Ok- time for bed! Busy day tomorrow! Including weigh in- eek! It never gets any easier- even though I'm at target!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Woman of the Year 2012!

Wow! What an amazing day!

I was so nervous about group tonight, public speaking is petrifying! The room was packed! Once I started though I couldn't stop! Turns out I talked for 15 minutes! Eek!

The other ladies that nominated were amazing- their speeches were great, really motivational. It just proved even more how amazing our group is!

Then it went to vote, and I was so nervous!

But Julie then announced that I was the Tuesday 5pm group winner! I could have cried! I was always aware that weight loss doesn't have a lot to play, it's more the story, how peoples' life had changed. I know my life has changed so much, but so has other peoples' and it was such an honour to be voted in by members of my group. 


I got a lovely sash, flowers and a certificate- and a sticker (of course the bestest thing!!!) to go on my book!



If anyone told me 2 years ago, even just 18 months ago, that I would be able to stand up in front of a group of 25 people, one or 2 of them complete strangers, and talk to them about how I'd lost 10 stone 2.5lb in 14 1/2 months. How my life was in a dire state but now I'm happy, healthy and feel like I have a purpose in life, I probably wouldn't believe them. I always wanted to lose weight- I just never thought I could.

I love being proved wrong!!

To people who read this, who have just started your journey, are half way or nearly there- look! It can be done! I hear the saying "if I can, anyone can" a lot- but it is so true! I am just a regular girly- nothing special about me, only that I have lost weight and am building my life up!

If you feel in the depths of despair, feel like you are failing, feel as though you just want to give up. Just keep clawing on. It DOES get better. Just keep at the SW plan, write everything down, talk to your consultant and/or other members, get that support that you deserve!


The only way you are going to fail is by giving up completely. The odd gain, the odd blip- that is NOT failing- that is showing strength that you can keep dusting yourself off and getting back on that wagon!

Most importantly- you are WORTH the effort- remember that!!

Tomorrow I am having lunch with Caz and my lovely friend, Wendy. Then I'm chilling at Caz's, staying over and visiting her amazing group on Thursday. 

My life is awesome- I am so blessed! 

Long may it continue!

Much Love,
Tanya x  

Monday, 20 August 2012

Bike Ride Fail!

Hello again!

So today has been interesting!

I was meant to meet up with Chris for coffee today, but she wasn't feeling too great. I decided that I wanted to do something constructive. When I was mooching on the SW website there was a picture of a woman on a bike and I thought "say- that's a good idea". It was a lovely day so I put some suncream on, topped up my water bottle and took my bike out for a spin for the first time.

I thought it would be nice just to cycle to New Brighton, 3km away, but when I got there I wanted to keep going. I got to a certain point where I could see Leasowe Lighthouse and I thought "I may as well go visit Niall, since I'm not far" since I promised over a year ago that I would!

I called him and he gave me directions to his place. I got on the cycle track past the lighthouse and all of a sudden my right pedal and sprocket came clean off!!!

Oh I was gutted! I was really enjoying my bike ride! So I called Niall, he and Jay (and Mojo) met me and we walked to the caravan. Mum and Arty came and picked me up to take me home.

Now I need to sort out getting a replacement bike. I hope I can get one sorted- I enjoyed being out on the prom again! It's been ages since I was that far out.

Anyhoo- work was ok, that's me off for 3 days now *yay*. 

Tomorrow is the Woman of the Year group final- where the 4 nominees do their talk, then it's to the group vote. Of course- I am nervous- I get nervous easily! But Caz reassured me and I am feeling a bit better. I'm not going to prepare, I'm just going to go with the flow! Keeping my fingers crossed of course!

Now- on to noms, for the last time this week!

Breakfast

3 doughnut peaches
apple
muller light

Lunch

jacket potato
tin of beans

Dinner

2 skinny lizzies (2 syns)
2 linda mccartney saussies
bistro salad and tomatoes
large slice of bread

muller light

Supper

2 bbq sticky fillets
hot and spicy stirfry with added mushrooms
soy sauce

muller light yoghurt
lemon hifi bar

Snacks

banana
alpen light bar (3 syns)

Drinks

tea x2
2l water
600ml sugar free cordial
200ml milk
250ml diet red bull

So that is 5 syns for today- taking my grand total amount of syns for the week to 59! Damn- I could have had a portion of chips last week after all! Only joking. I was serious about this week- I wanted to do something about the positive mental attitude I had from my time in Southport. I hope the scales are kind and give me the result I believe I deserve!

If it doesn't, that's ok, I'll accept it- but of course I would be over the moon with a good loss! All will be revealed tomorrow!

Ok I must try to get some sleep- otherwise I will just sit up and eat- less than 12 hours to weigh in? I don't want to be doing that!

Night night- hopefully some news in my next blog!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Sunday, 19 August 2012

People Pleasing and Socialising

Good evening (well not quite evening- it's early morning, as usual!)

So today is going to be one of those feelings posts- just warning you now- get a cuppa ready!

I find myself every so often getting myself worked up because of one niggling resentment that I've had for about 9 months. I'm the kind of person that gets really wound up and upset when someone doesn't like me. I am trying (but sometimes struggle) to accept that not everyone will like me. I can be a real pain in the bum, I can sometimes push boundaries without even realising it. But I'm not malicious, I don't deliberately go out to harm others- I used to, I don't any more, my conscience won't allow it!

So when someone goes around deliberately being spiteful, so much so that other people notice so you know it's not just your own head, it leaves me wondering why. Then I try being overly pleasing to make the person like me and I get more and more downtrodden when it doesn't work out like that.

I've talked about it over and over again, I've meditated on it and I've shared some more, this isn't going. Acceptance will come, I know it, but I'm getting impatient and it's frustrating me.


I need to focus on the positives- the nice things that people say about me, or to me. The friends and family who offer encouragement and love. They are surely the people who matter the most!

I can stand in a room of 100 people. 99 will be nice, friendly and courteous. 1 person will either ignore or pull a nasty face at me. Of course I would obsess over that 1 person. Make myself ill with worry and get to breaking point trying to get them to like me. I'm a chronic people pleaser- I have been for years.

I'm working on changing that- I want to be truly happy- I can't rely on others to make that happen. Self love and self respect- those 2 things will help in my quest to happiness- the common theme of those 2 things? 

Self. Me. 

That's who needs to do it!

Ahh it's nice to realise these things. It's even nicer to accept them!

I'm still going to plod along- there is no way in HELL I'm going to let someone negative win, I just wasn't brought up that way! (thanks mum!)

Now, on to the next bit of rambling

I went out today- it was a colleagues leaving do, he's gone to pastures new- to be a primary school teacher. So a few of us (about a dozen) went to the pub to say our farewells. I went and I actually had a good time chatting to people, not isolating in the corner and hiding away- actually engaging in conversation!!

Sometimes there are things, like going the pub tonight, that make me ever so grateful to SW. Without the support I got off Julie and my group and without Food Optimising, I would not have been in that situation. When I went out I always felt uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, but it's nowhere near as bad as what it was! My life is immeasurably better!

I do have a lot of gratitude today! Even with this resentment going on, nothing can outshine my gratitude!

Now- the important thing- the noms. 

Breakfast

5x scan bran
strawberry muller light
sweetener
frozen berries

Lunch

Roast Chicken Mugshot (yes- that was it- the canteen shut early so I was without salad!)

Dinner

Roast Chicken
large baked spud
lots of salad
salad light spray (about 7 squidges)

Rhubarb Muller Light
Frozen berries
Meringue Nest (2.5 syns)

Supper

2 hot and spicy chicken pieces
left over roast chicken
Uncle Bens thai sweet chilli express rice (2 syns)
bistro salad and tomatoes

Snacks

rocky road bar
alpen light bar

Drinks

1.5 litre water
300ml diet lemonade
tea w/50ml 1% milk
1 1/2 cups of tea with ss milk (1.5 syns for milk)
500ml pepsi max
250ml milk

so that's 6 syns for today, which is great, 54 syns for the week. Healthy extras were of course my milk (hea) and scan bran and cereal bars (2x heb)

Tomorrow is the last full day before weigh in so getting a touch nervous as usual- would love a good loss to get me at the bottom end of target- we shall see!

Right- off to get my beauty sleep! I need it! Busy day tomorrow.


Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Pamper Appointment and More Noms!

Hello All- have you missed me? (I know it's only been a day!)

It's been a busy day as usual! Work work and more work! My back is aching and I'm feeling very tired, so it's going to be another quick one I'm afraid!

I feel like I've not had much time to look after myself lately. Little bits of pampering, that kind of thing. Tomorrow night I think I'm going to try and make time for a bit of relaxation- a bubble bath, a movie and something daft like painting my toenails (something I really couldn't do when I was big! I couldn't reach that far!!) I think we all need a pampering sometimes- life is so stressful, we need some relaxation time, even if it's just for 10 minutes!

For ages I didn't think I was worth anything- at times I still feel like that- but now I make more time for me because I AM worth it. I implore everyone else to do the same thing. Just take some time out for you. Even if it's just taking a magazine into the loo with you. You are worth the time and effort- if you don't believe it- keep telling yourself until you do! Or tell me- I'll make sure you believe it!!

Anyway- here's my food for today!

breakfast

blackberries
banana
grapes
mandarin muller light
2x rocky road bars

lunch

salmon fillet
boiled potatoes
green beans and carrots

cherry muller light
blackberries
grapes

dinner

2 skinny lizzies (2 syns)
2 rosemary and red onion sausages
mashed potato
mushrooms
syn free onion gravy

banana custard muller
meringue nest (2.5 syns)

snacks

3x rocky road (1 heb and 3 syns)
lemon hifi bar (heb)
2 doughnut peaches
mandarin
apple
nectarine

drinks

2 litres water 
1 1/2 litres pepsi max (in work)
300ml 1% milk, as a milkshake (hea)

I feel so full even though I do have a bit of a sweet craving but the milkshake's helping with that!

7 1/2 syns today- that's 49 syns so far this week. Well within my limit! 

I'm off to bed now- busy day ahead. But only 2 more shifts until my 3 days off- can't wait!

Ni night!
Much Love,


Tanya x

Friday, 17 August 2012

Friday's noms and mega thirst!

Evening!

Just a quick one from me tonight- I am so tired and I need my rest, as I am working 2 shifts tomorrow.

I've been so thirsty today! I've been constantly drinking water and the thirst hasn't gone much! My belly has been so bloated because of all the water- it's been making me feel really self conscious! But at least I know it's water, it will be peed out soon enough!

My food today- still on the wagon, still feeling good1

Breakfast

1/2 tub fromage frais
banana

2 skinny lizzies (2 syns)
2 linda mccartney rosemary and red onion sausages
2 fried eggs 
tin of beans
mushrooms and tomatoes

Lunch

2 quorn sticky fillets
syn free egg fried rice
rocket salad, tomatoes and cucumber

Dinner

Salmon fillet
mashed potato (just plain)
mushy peas
green beans and carrots

Cherry muller light
punnet blackberries
handful grapes

Snacks

2 doughnut peaches
2 lemon hifi bars (both healthy extra)
1 rocky road bar (3 syns)
banana

Drinks

3 litres water
1 coffee (25ml 1% milk)
1 tea (50ml 1% milk)
milkshake with last of my milk allowance.

So that's 5 syns for the day- and I don't even feel restricted! 41.5 syns for the week so far (not that I do weekly syns, I'm just curious of course!) I have 3 1/2 more days- I'm half way there!

Right- time for my beauty sleep! I think I'm going to need it!

More soon
Much Love,
Tanya x

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Being Nominated and Food Stuff

Hello there! Bet you're surprised to see me 2 days on the trot! Here I am! 

So today- I got "the text" off Julie! I am one of the finalists for 5pm group WOTY!!! I swear I feel about 10 foot tall right now, grinning from ear to ear! I am over the moon to be nominated, I truly am!

On Tuesday, all the finalists (there are 4 of us in our group) do a little talk- to say how our life has changed, what SW has done for us etc. Then the people in the group vote and the winner is announced! Hopefully on the same day! I am nervous already! 

Ok so I have a couple of things to recommend, if you haven't had them before then I suggest you go out and try them- because they are awesome.

The first thing- Doughnut Peaches. 

I remember last year, Julie (my consultant) asked if I wanted to try a doughnut peach. My eyes lit up and asked "is it syn free??" to which she replied "it's just a peach, Tanya". Slightly disappointed- until I tasted it! Oh my goodness! 

They are a lot sweeter than normal peaches, and so easy to eat! Albeit a bit messy- so lean over the sink when nomming, if possible! They're not the prettiest of things, but trust me, they are awesome. Get some superfree in- eat a doughnut peach or 2.

They're £1 a punnet (6 in a punnet) in Asda right now. Apparently they're not in season for much longer so fill your boots while you still can!

The other thing- Quorn Sticky Fillets.

Great if you're a veggie- great if you aren't! They are the quorn chicken pieces with a marinade on. I think there are only 2 flavours- BBQ and Ginger, chilli and lime. I've only had the Ginger ones (had 2 for my din dins tonight in fact). I personally think they are gorgeous.


Syn free on ALL plans!! Happy days!

They're in the freezer aisle. I got my first batch from Asda (2 packs for a fiver) but right now (being a bargain hunter) they have them in Morrisons, £1.25 for  pack. The deal isn't on forever though so get down there and get a pack of each- just to see if you like them- you may as well!


Anyway- so that's my lecture done for tonight- get shopping tomorrow people!

Now- here are my noms for today!

Breakfast

5 scan bran
2tbsp sweetener
1/2 tub berries
banana
banana custard muller light

Lunch

1 slice wholemeal bread (from 800g loaf)
wafer thin ham
spring onions
rocket salad
tomatoes

Dinner

2 quorn sticky fillets (chilli ginger and lime)
1/2 pack mushroom stir fry (done with frylight)

1/2 tub good for you fromage frais
1/2 punnet strawberries
summer fruits
2 meringue nests (5 syns)

Snacks

2 doughnut peaches
1/2 punnet strawberries

Drinks

2x coffee w/ skimmed milk ( 1 1/2 syns) - not measured
1.5l water
1 tea (with 50ml 1% milk)
250ml 1% milk (as a milkshake)

It looks like a red day to me! When I got home from work I wasn't feeling particularly hungry, even though I knew I had to eat- so did without any rice/pasta/spuds. I'm ok with that- I'm not hungry (even though a rocky road would be nice but there's a huge mammoth spider in the kitchen so I'll do without thanks!!!) 

6 1/2 syns for the day- 36 1/2 syns so far this week. Healthy A was the milk and my 2 B's were the scan bran and the piece of bread.

Lots of superfree too- I love my fruit and veggies!!

Ok it's time for bed- taking some more water up with me. I'm in work at 10am, which I nearly forgot about! But I'm looking forward to a few days off next week, so I don't mind working long hours for the next few days!

More food soon!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

New Food Diary and Working Through The Pain

Hello you guys!

Maintain for me this week- I was hoping for a loss but considering how reckless I was last Tuesday, I think it was a good thing to have maintained. Next week will hopefully be different though!

So I've been doing this body magic challenge thing on the SW website. Basically you pick a challenge- all of them are different distances- like a marathon, or the length of the Thames (a lot of it is GB or Olympics themed) and you try to do a bit each day to get to the end of the challenge.

Of course I go for the big one- Lands End to John O'Groats! 606 miles!


You do either walking, running, swimming, cycling or even rowing (any exercise really) and just update it each time you do it. I try to do at least 2 miles a day when I can- even if it's just power walking to work!

I've been doing the challenge for a week now and I have already done 27.1 miles!! It doesn't even seem that far at all! It all adds up!

So that's something keeping me motivated.

Anyhoo- so I've been struggling something terrible with my back again lately. I can't remember if I've mentioned it in a previous blog- but I went to see a physio 2 weeks ago and apparently my pelvis is all meffed because of the amount of weight I've lost. Basically- it's just the difference in the way I stand. Obviously the extra 10 stone put a lot of strain on my joints and muscles and it's just going to take some adjusting.

Working doesn't help- sitting at the till on the wheely chairs. I was doubling over in pain yesterday and today at times. It's been brutal. But I've not let it stop me!! I just have to keep going and I will!

So I've decided (thanks to Pam after I visited her amazing group in Birkdale last week!) to keep a food diary- to keep in check with everything. Because I would like to be at the bottom end of target next week which is 2.5lb away. This "going for gold" thing is keeping me motivated!

She told the group to get the food diaries and write everything down (if you nibble it, scribble it- which I have heard before, heehee) The only downside to the SW food diaries are they're too small- its either my writing is too big or i eat too much! Either way I always run out of room!

So I'm going to keep an online record too! My food diary for today (Wednesday)


Breakfast

Banana
Muller Light yog

Lunch

2 egg omelette with bacon and onion
2 skinny lizzies (2 syns)
mushrooms and tomatoes
tin baked beans

Dinner (during break in work)

Roast chicken mugshot
2 doughnut peaches
2 mandarins
large handful grapes

Supper (really dinner- after i got in from work)

2 hot and spicy chicken pieces 
Egg noodles
2/3 tub Oriental Bean Stirfry
Soy Sauce

5x scan bran (with 2 tbsp sweetener)
rhubarb muller light
summer fruits and extra raspberries

Snacks

Banana Custard muller light
Raspberries
1/2 punnet grapes
3x rocky road hifi lights (2 as heb, 1 as 3 syns)

Drinks

1 tea
1 coffee
200 ml 1% milk (rest of hea)
1.5 litre water
500ml diet cranberry blue charge (like red bull)

So today- 5 syns (the skinny lizzies and rocky road bar). And my total syn count to 30 (I had a chippy treat for staying in target- not the worst thing to have- special fried rice at 19 syns for the whole lot- which I had. I had 3 hot choccies during the day- 6 syns- total of 25. Much better than the 150+ I stupidly had last tuesday!!!!)

Feeling good- albeit a bit sore! But I'm looking forward to my week ahead. Next wednesday I'm going back to Southport to harass Caz and visit her group on the Thursday, which I'm really excited for!

Tomorrow is hopefully going to be sunny and still warm as I'm planning on doing a lot of walking before work at 6!

Now it is time for bed, need my rest

Much Love,

Tanya x

Friday, 10 August 2012

Body Magic and Sunburn!

Hello Guys! 

Wow- life is still very busy- as it has been for what, about a year? I'm loving it right now!

The sun is shining, which always perks me up and gives me energy. I always find when the weather is nice, Tanya is cheerful and wanting to do some extra body magic!

Now- I haven't explained body magic before I don't think- I think that it's something that everyone should attempt to do, if they are able to. I do know that some people can't do any kind of exercise or activity due to restrictions- goodness knows I have been there at one point! But it's something that Slimming World encourages, and I do too!

Now- what is body magic?

Well- it's just SW's way of saying "hey- let's do some exercise". You can start off small and just work your way up when you are ready, at your own pace.

They have 4 awards- Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum. The "criteria" is as follows :




Bronze 
45 minutes a week (spread over a minimum of 3 days) 
in 5, 10 or 15 minute sessions
maintain for 4 weeks

Silver
90 minutes a week
6 x 15 minutes OR 3x 30 minute sessions
maintain for 4 weeks

Gold
150 minutes (2 1/2 hours) a week
10 x 15 minutes OR 5 x 30 minutes
maintain for 8 weeks

Platinum

Is when you do Gold for a second time.

For me, when I started SW, I found even going to the kitchen for food difficult sometimes- and the awards helped me so much. I started off small- going round the corner, going up the stairs an extra time or 2 a day. I built it up gradually so I didn't do myself any damage. 

Before I knew it I was walking places without and difficulty at about twice the speed I used to- if not quicker!

When I started SW I had to get the bus or taxis to group because it was so far to walk. Now I walk everywhere! I love being out and about- even if it's raining- I just stick my hood up and get going!

I have so much freedom and body magic has helped with that, it's great!

Today- I did a lot of body magic- I walked in total 7 miles- in the sunshine! It was a glorious day today so decided to walk a bit further. Sadly- I forgot to put suncream on so yes- I am a bit more red than usual- mainly on my shoulders- but nothing a bit of aftersun won't cure!

So remember- if you are out in the sun- remember the sun cream! 

I am feeling super motivated! I spent Wednesday and Thursday with Caz, had a great time and got a lot from going to her fabulous group on the Thursday morning. Her consultant, Pam is just fab- it was great to be in the group for those few hours. A bit of extra support this week so definitely full of beans, as it were!

Ok it's time for me to go to bed- I'm rather tired after all that body magic! Work tomorrow, both Asda and off licence so need my sleep!

Will update again soon!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

feeling run down and diet coke chicken

yoohoo!


Again, sorry it has been so long between posts- I can't even tell you how busy life has been for the last few weeks....actually- I can, and I will tell you!


I worked 36 hours last week, between Asda and the off licence. Which is something that I'm not used to- I haven't done that many hours for a while. I only had 1 day where I had no work, which was last Tuesday but even then I was constantly on the go.


Caz came to visit, we had a lovely day. We nipped to Asda to get her sausages and my berries, then I got weighed (2 on, but still in target) and we went to Brigitte's for lunch. We did a lot of walking- we had a wander along the prom back to the train station- I went straight to my SW group then (because I love staying at my 5pm group- even if I've been weighed beforehand) and stayed to take the money for the 7pm group. Basically it was a good, social day but very tiring!


As the last few weeks have gone on, I've been getting more and more physically exhausted. I'm not sleeping as well as I want to and the amount of work hours I'm doing it's just running me into the ground a bit. Initially I was ok, but now my mind is starting to go. You know when you're just that tired you start making basic mistakes? I do seem to be working slower- mentally I mean- counting out change takes longer because the brain is starting to slow a bit. Not much that it's terribly noticeable to others- but I can tell. 


That and I've started to get a lot more emotional than usual. Most of the time I'm pretty stable (*most* of the time, heehee) but lately I've found myself feeling more fragile and vulnerable- which is something I don't have time for right now!!


So yes- feeling extremely run down and don't seem to have any time to rest. Again, the 1 day off work this week (Tuesday again) was full of visits and appointments. I had a meeting in the morning followed straight away by a physio appointment (because of my back) then to see my dad because he was going back to work today. Followed by shopping, sorting the cat out, and getting weighed. 


Actually, I didnt get home from visits after group (went to see my friend mike to see how he was doing, he's having a rough time of it at the moment) until gone midnight- then I was up for work today at 8.30!


So pretty damn exhausted.


Weigh in- oh yes.


I lost 4.5lb this week!! Oh my goodness! I wasn't expecting that! The lowest weight I have ever been in my adult life (12st 3.5lb) and my bmi is 23.9. I am near the bottom of my target so have to be careful- but I have had big treats already and I have a meal friday (Chinese with a few friends) so I doubt that I'll be losing at all! but maybe 1lb gain would be ok- don't want to gain too much!)


Anyway- quick recipe (are you still reading? jolly good!)

Diet Coke Chicken- yay! A classic recipe for us SW'ers! It's  lot like sweet and sour. If you like sweet and sour you should like this!



Syn free on EE


1lb diced chicken breast
1 large onion
large handful mushrooms
1 pepper
1 can (or 330ml) diet coke (or pepsi max/coke zero etc)
6 tbsp passata
splash Worcestershire Sauce
herbs and spices to taste (chinese 5 spice is popular)


1) brown chicken in frying pan sprayed with frylight
2) chop onion, mushroom and pepper, add to chicken and fry for a few minutes
3) add the coke, passata, herbs and Worcestershire sauce
4) leave to simmer on a medium heat until thickened.


Note- make sure you don't keep a lid on the pan- it doesn't thicken up if you cover up!


I served mine with stirfry veggies and rice- it was lovely! 


This is meant to serve 3-4 but come on, this is me we're talking about! 2 meals for me- with lots of superfree!


Ok time for bed for me. Was hoping to be in bed by midnight but didn't quite make it- close though!


I'm up at 6.30am to get ready for my day- I'm looking after my cousins while my aunt and uncle go to work- then it's straight home for noms and a quick change then to work for 5 and a bit hours! 


Hopefully the rota will finally be out- been putting my life on hold because I don't have a clue what I'm working next week- praying I have weds evening and thursday morning off so I can pop over to southport to harass Caz- I need a day away to be honest- I think that would really help with my mood!


Anyway- off I go!


Much love, 
Tanya x

Sunday, 22 July 2012

A case of the lonelies

Hiya everyone!


Yeah, so mum is away on holiday for a little while so I am rattling around the house on my own. I'm feeling a touch lonely and it's getting me down a bit. But, I am keeping myself busy- pottering around the house, going for walks and of course, work!


The weather seems to be picking up (hopefully!) so that always lifts my moods up. I enjoyed the walk to work and back and had a little wander round the corner this evening with a friend. The fresh air definitely does me good!


I seem to have a few more hours in work the next couple of weeks- which is good. It means more money. I'm planning on saving a bit since I am not going to be working for a week in September as well as an extra day I am hoping to book off, in case I am lucky enough to be voted group Woman of the Year and then it's off to districts. I'm not being presumptuous here, there are a few contenders. If I don't get voted in, that's ok. I won't go on a tantrum overload or anything! But it's just in case- I would hate to get through then have to work. But, that is time off and that means less money coming in. That is, indeed, if I am still at Asda in September! I hope I am- I would feel lonely if I wasn't!


I'm really looking forward to Tuesday. Caz is coming over in the morning, so after weigh in (I'll have to get weighed at 1pm again...) we're going for lunch. Don't know what after that but lunch is a definite plan! It'll be a laugh- it's great to spend time with her- we seem to have a lot in common. That, and she's a really good friend!


I'm counting down the holiday still- 9 weeks and 1 day to go! So excited! Not completely sorted but I have plenty of time to go before then and a lot to do beforehand. I'm definitely going to be busy the next couple of months!


I'll have to get on with cooking at some point soon- I haven't done a recipe in an age! Watch this space for something new- must get the cook books out!


Ok, time to get some cleaning done. Chris is coming over for lunch tomorrow and I have a 7 hour shift in work afterwards- so want to get as much done as possible!)


Much Love,
Tanya x

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Maintenance and Tiredness

Hello! I can't believe it's been nearly, what, 2 weeks since my last post? Unreal!


Can someone please tell that time to slow down a bit!! There just aren't enough hours in the day!


I wish there was a lot of stuff to fill you in on- but there isn't really....


The last 2 weigh ins were ok. The first week at target I put on 2lb, which was a miracle considering the difficulty I had in actually eating proper food and not rubbish! Then this week I lost the 2lb I put on. So I am now back at 12 stone 6lb in weight, my target weight. 


The joys of a target range (I can put on 3lb or be 3lb under my target weight and still be at target) is I can have a little slip or have a very good week. The leeway is great. So yes, still wearing my target badge with pride!


I have been very tired lately. For 2 weeks I've not slept well at all- kept waking up numerous times, not feeling rested, being a bit moody because of it. I need to work harder on going to bed earlier. I have a busy week ahead with work. 21 hours with Asda and 11 at the off licence, so 32 hours in total. I also have a lot of things to do outside of work so it's going to be tiring. I've got some nice, relaxing music and I'm going to get some Enya CD's for my collection. I'm also going to read more because apparently that is relaxing.


Hopefully that will help!


Right now, apart from the tiredness, life is good. I've reconnected with some old friends and I feel more sociable. I'm not isolating. That's what I did when I was big- I didn't have the confidence to go out often -and when I did I tried to hide from everyone. Now, I am a more confident flutterby. I want to go out, I want to be with people. I am no longer paranoid that people will shout abuse or throw things at me, like in the past. People are cruel, but people don't change. I am "normal". I'm not overweight, I try not to draw attention to myself. Ok, I'm tall but I'm not 7 foot- I'm only about 3 inches taller than the average lady now!


So yes, busy life here- which is great- I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest with you. If I am busy there is less time to think and get depressed over stuff!


Right, back to doing things. I am meant to be going to Chester tonight- going to get some food and see how I feel. I am sleepy- might opt for an early night instead. I'll see in an hour or so.


But I am still here, still at target and still happy! Woo!


Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Still Alive (and speed soup)

Hello! I've been very busy the last few days so only just managed to sit down and do a post. I'm still alive, still plodding along!

I have to say- this being at target and staying on plan thing is proving to be very difficult! I know that logically I should be sticking to plan but it's like a kid in the candy shop ignoring all rational advice and just running around stuffing sugary and fattening food in my gob!



The thing is, when I eat rubbish, I feel sluggish, not to mention the guilt that tends to come with it. I have become a touch more lazy- mainly because I have been very tired. Oh but why? Partly down to the bad nutrition, no doubt about that!


I know that I don't want to get fat again. I think I need to accept that inside I'm always going to be fat- I'm still going to want to eat rubbish and that will cause me to gain weight. It's not even comfort eating- I have no reason for that- I actually feel good. It's just that I seem to just keep eating and eating


It's scary, because when I listen to Caz, she has said all this and even though I empathised a bit- I didn't realise until right now (as I'm typing) that most, if not ALL of the stuff she talks about is me too! Crap! It's weird when I hear someone talk about themselves and I realise that they're talking about me too!


I think I need to give myself a telling off- because I have worked really hard to get to target, there is no way I want to wreck it in one week with some bad food.


Come on, Tanya- get a grip! You need to get back on that horse and keep at it! Change that "stinking thinking" to something a bit more positive.


I like this new life I've got- I want to keep it, thank you very much! It's only me that can lose it- no one can take it away from me.


Ahh- that's better! I think I needed to get that one out!


I do feel positive- I think I just didn't know what to do with myself- it was like a weight was lifted off me (pardon the pun) and wanted to try and push my luck- but I can't do that. All I need to do is accept it....watch this space!


Anyway- people were asking for recipe for speed soup, the one I made last week (I need to make another batch actually)


I made it in 2 pans, just because the big huge pan I usually use is in the shed- and I was making it at 1am- there was no way I was going in the shed for the spidies to eat me! So this is how I did it


2 tins tomatoes
1 tin baked beans (branston of course!)
1 tin mixed beans
5 carrots
1 swede
2 onions
1 leek
red and green pepper
few handfuls broccoli 
1pint chicken stock
1 pint beef stock
mixed herbs, pepper, garlic granules (to taste)


1) dice veggies into bitesized chunks
2) split the ingredients into 2 pans. add the stock (chicken in one pan, beef in the other)
3) add a bit more water if needed, to cover everything
4) cover and leave to simmer until everything is soft (about 20 mins to half an hour usually)
5) leave to cool a bit then blitz thoroughly with hand blender


That's it! It's as simple as that! You can add other veggies if you like! I also usually add some lentils or pearl barley but I couldn't find our stash. If you are adding lentils- just boil in a seperate pan for 10 minutes or so then add to the soup mix. It makes it a bit more filling- but really, I didn't think it was necessary in this case.


Because I am on extra easy, I just added a couple of pieces of chicken to the top to make it even nicer.


Speed soup is meant to be great for speeding up weight loss- mainly because what you are eating is speed, or superspeed soup, which is great for a weight loss boost! It's always been good for me!


Remember though- this recipe has beans in- which means that it's not free on red days, if you are doing red days- only free on EE or green (or just EE if you add meat to it!)


But try it- I think it's lovely! Quite cheap too and does make a lot


And you can freeze it!


Ok it's time for bed for this one- I am in work tomorrow, Monday and Thursday (overtime!) I only had 1 shift last week at Asda and I kinda missed the place. I do like my job ( people give me weird looks when I say that!) and the money isn't bad either! I have a holiday to pay for (in September) and my trip to Canada next year too! The more work I do, the more spending money I have, so that means more day trips out- see I have this sorted!


Ni night, hoping that tomorrow is a positive day- for me AND for you!


Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

One Journey Ends and Another Begins

I was going to do this last night but my computer decided to have a mild hissy fit. So it has to be today.


I am pleased to announce that after 14 months and 3 weeks, and I have done it! 10 stone 1lb lost and a proud owner of Free Lifetime Membership for Slimming World!


What an amazing 14 1/2 months it has been too!


It's been full of ups and downs but there is nothing I would have changed- not one thing!


I am sitting here, swelling with gratitude and trying to think who to thank, what to say, everything! Let's get the thank you's done now!


Mum- you seem to be the first person to pop into my head to thank. We may have had a few rough years in the past- but I love how our relationship has grown over the last year and a bit. You have been there for me every step of the way, the bringer of food, the kicker of my vastly-shrinking bum! I am so glad that this has helped build our relationship to greater levels. I am so glad to have made you proud! I love you xx


Niall- my amazing little brother! Your fab photoshopping skills are second to none! Always there to do my before/during pictures to help me see the losses myself! You have always lifted me up with encouragement when I needed it! I remember the first time you lifted me up shouting "you're so skinny!!!". I was shocked that I didn't break your back!! We can have such a laugh together now- which was limited in the past sometimes! Long may what we have continue!!


Julie- my consultant- and the woman who has sometimes mentally carried me through parts of this journey. You need way more credit than you get, lady! You were there to welcome me to my first Slimming World group, all that time ago. It feels like yesterday I was sheepishly sitting in my seat listening to the "newbie talk". Walking into that group was the most nerve-racking thing I had ever done, but the best thing! You have the patience of a saint- putting up with me and my grumbles. Thank you for not giving up on me and being there week after week, at the end of the phone or a text and at group! I am so proud to be one of your target members and part of your social team! 


Shena- my inspiration for joining Slimming World. You were the person who first introduced me to the amazing plan- giving me information and tips. If you had not planted that seed, I would not be where I am today- I am forever grateful to you- like you would not believe! You're a good friend- thank you for the motivation and support that you have given me xx


Chris- I don't think I would have lasted long if I had not bought a 12 week countdown to keep me motivated and focused. I couldn't afford that at first and you were there to buy half of it! Not just that but I know you have been there to give me love and support every step of the way! You're my best friend and like family to me- thank you for being there and not giving up on me (even if you are a bad influence when we are on holiday together!!!)


Marg- you have seen me at my worst and still put up with me! I always thought you were a bit mad (in a good way!) I always loved calling you after weigh in every week to tell you how I got on- giving me a pick me up if I ever needed it! One thing I regretted when I was big was I didn't have many pictures taken with you and yours when I visited! But I am sure I will make up for it next year when I come to see you. I am so looking forward to coming to visit you and not be trapped in my body and feeling constantly self conscious! And I *will* get on that water trampoline next time!!! I love you, my little Canadian Gnome xoxoxoxoxox


Kate- you madhead! Bet you thought I was going to forget you! I am so glad Julie introduced us because you have been such a good friend to me the last year or so- even if you are a royal pain in the bum! I can't wait til you get to target and you will make a great consultant one day!


Caz- my newest, and one of my dearest, friends. I love fate sometimes! A facebook "like" started our friendship off! I can't believe that was less than 3 months ago- I feel like we've known each other forever! What you have done with your life over the last 3 years is nothing less than miraculous! Your positivity shines brighter than the sun and it's infectious! It's great to have someone who really understands my head. If there wasn't such a big age (and height!!!!) difference I would say we were twins! I love spending time with you, long may our friendship continue xx


Alan and Jayne- thanks for the laughs, and support. I always love sneaking into the 1pm group to see you guys!


The ladies (and gents!) at all the groups I have been to- THANK YOU!! There are so many to mention- I will always forget to mention one or 2 of you. But if you have been at a group that I have been to- I am thanking you. Be it for a recipe idea, encouragement, a hug when I need it, or just being in the same room as me when I was feeling downtrodden and lonely- you have been a big part of my weight loss- even if you don't realise it! 


Everyone on minimins (Lily, Jo, Cinta, Kate, Sharon, Lisa- and everyone else- sorry if I forgot you!) thanks for being there for me, for the weekly updates and gossip and friendship! We are all in this together!


I'm always paranoid about missing out people! It is nearly 4am, that is my excuse!!


I am now nervous about my next journey- actually staying at this weight! But I have my group, my family, friends and my amazing consultant there with me, every step of the way. I will stil be blogging, still annoying people at group and just generally being here! I am still not done! I have to work on getting a great big life now!


The world is my oyster, so to speak. How exciting is this!


Thanks for being there for me- everyone. I hope that I can help everyone as much as you have all helped me!


Much Love,
Tanya x