Saturday, 30 June 2012

Saturday's noms and feeling confident

It's dangerous ground- me feeling positive about what they scales are going to say! But I am feeling confident- and I really hope that the scales are nice to me on Tuesday! I have been good- and I do have more of a positive mental attitude- of course, I hope it stays that way!! We shall see!

It's a late one for me because of my trip out- did a bit of dancing- saw a lovely SW girly there, who is doing amazingly well! It's great to see other members doing so well- I'm so happy for them- and seeing them happy, it's fab to see the SW plan working for others too!

Ok food for me!


banana (it was spotty- yuk!)
muller light


Rocket salad
salad light spray 

big tub fat free rhubarb and vanilla yoghurt (from asda- syn free and gorgeous!!)


4x chicken skewers from iceland
soy sauce

2x coffee w/skimmed milk (1)


Chicken and stuffing sandwich (1 1/2 syns for stuffing)
Mashed potato
syn free onion gravy

hifi light bar (3)
syn free milkshake

I am stuffed (pardon the pun) and am ready for my bed!

Work tomorrow- need my sleep! 

Hoping to make some speed soup tomorrow so I can have that for a couple of meals- hope it will speed up my weight loss!! Come on now- I want to get to target!!

Now it's time for bed
Much Love,
Tanya x

Friday, 29 June 2012

Food Diary for Friday

Ok I really need to start doing this "going to bed early" thing- I am failing miserably at it!!!

After work tonight I went to dad's. Spent some time with Niall and Jay and had a natter with Caz on the phone- which was nice. She's been on her hols for 2 weeks so not had anyone to annoy (much) on facebook.

Today's food- I haven't been as good as usual but still been on plan....there is definitely room for improvement though!


Vanilla muller light
rocky road bar
cranberry hifi light bar


rocket salad
sugar snap peas <---which are apparently superfree! happy days!

toffee muller light

Coffee w/ 2x dash skimmed milk (1)
another coffee w/ dash skimmed (1/2)


2x hot and spicy chicken breast fillets
syn free egg fried rice
soy sauce

coffee w/skimmed milk (1/2)


2x hot and spicy chicken breast fillets
syn free chips
rocket salad and tomatoes

summer fruits
strawberry muller light

rocky road hifi light (3)
hot chocolate (2)
remainder of milk from allowance

Needless to say I am stuffed! I may have only had 7 syns today but I really need to up the superfree. I may just head to asda tomorrow to get the stuff for super speed soup! It's been a while- I think that will help!

Nothing else to report really. I need to get to my pit now- after I've finished the dishes!

Busy day tomorrow- shopping, cooking, cleaning, work and then going out in the evening! I am going to need a big sleep on Sunday night!!! I am feeling bushed already!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Thursday, 28 June 2012

And Thursday's Food Diary!

Wow I've never done 2 blog posts in 1 day- but it is a special occasion, I hope you agree!

Ok so my food for today- quite good, even if I do say so myself!!


3 skinny lizzie sausages (3)
2 egg omelette
3 bacon
red onion

natural yog (with 2 tsp sweetener)


2x corn on the cob (boiled, with black pepper)
1x pear

(note- I know that doesn't sound like much but I was still absolutely stuffed after breakfast!!!)

Cherry yoghurt
Rocky road hifi bar (1/2 heb)


speedy tomato soup

Dry fried pork
stir fry veggies
soy sauce

natural yog (with 1 spoon sweetener and 1 spoon cinnamon)
rocky road hifi bar (1/2 heb)
tea w/50ml 1% milk

hifi light bar (3)
milkshake with remainder of milk

a little reserved today possibly- but I have been satisfied- no overeating for me! (Ok dinner was big but I was getting hungry at work- it was a long shift!!) 

Tomorrow I think that berries and yoghurt are on the menu for breakfast (with other fruit I've got) and I am considering going out so might treat myself to subway (sweet onion dressing is only 1 1/2 syns!) and I am going to make something to take to work with me- possibly pasta salad or something.

Still focused, still happy and still hoping to not be penalised much because of Tuesday's shenanigans! (Not that we're talking about that!!!)

 Now it is time for bed, I need my beauty sleep!

Much Love,
Tanya x

10,000 page views!

Yes! I can't believe it! This has hit over 10,000 page views! That is just amazing! I never thought that many people would read my blog....I feel quite humbled actually. 

Thanks to everyone who has read, followed or commented on my blog so far- you are all helping me on my weight loss journey- and I am so glad that I am helping some of you too!

I get so much from writing my posts sometimes- just to get everything down or to remember recipes, different food and keep track of my food. I recommend doing a blog if you are trying to lose weight- just because sometimes it helps to keep on track of things!! I hope to continue this for a while!

Here's to another 10,000 views and more!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Wednesday Food Diary

Hola! Just thought I'd check in and share my food diary with you! Easier for me to keep track that way!


Magic porridge
Summer Fruits


2 salmon fillets
steamed rice (with soy sauce)
cherry tomatoes, lettuce, rocket salad and red pepper

Toffee muller light

Coffee w/skimmed milk (1)


Jacket spud
Cottage cheese
rocket salad and cherry tomatoes


2 hot and spicy chicken breast fillets
chilli stir fry veggies
egg noodles with soy sauce

summer fruits
strawberry muller light


I haven't had my hea yet so going to have a glass of milk before bed!

I have had a grand total of 1 syn today. Now, usually I have the minimum of 5 a day- but because I am not hungry and because of what happened last night, I am going to relax my "tradition". I really am satisfied- I have had 4 meals today (as you can see) and I am satisfied. I'll be even more satisfied after my milk!

I didn't do a lot of extra body magic- a bit of dancing at a friend's tonight- but not much. I really haven't had time- it's been a bit of a rush. I did, however, go out of my way, while my lunch was cooking, to go the post office. I was going to go on my way to meeting Chris, but I decided to do it while food was cooking- so that was an extra 10 minutes at least! Will do better tomorrow!

It's a late night tonight too- I realised that my uniform needs to be washed for work tomorrow evening! So waiting on that to finish, then going to hang it up and head to bed.

Tomorrow I'm going to see my dad, who is away at work- but for the first time that I can remember, he's docked not far from here (usually he's down Bristol/Cardiff way, tomorrow he's in Garston, just outside of Liverpool) so Niall (my brother) and I are going to head down there in the morning for a few hours!

I'm going to have sausage and bacon omelette for breakfast- with superfree! And I'm going to make sure I have time for a lateish lunch. I'm going to treat myself to a meal at Skinni Malinx in Liverpool, on the way home so that will be tasty and syn free. And possibly stirfry again after work!

I'm thinking positive- and feeling positive- it's great! I am really hoping to get to target soon and I am so glad I'm feeling more positive this week! I hope that the scales show this positivity next Tuesday!

Right, off to have my milk and rescue that washing!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Accountability, Acceptance and Target-bound

Ok so I did some silly things today- thought I may as well get them out, then move on, a line will be drawn and that will be the end of that.

I have been really good all week- I can't think of anything that I had done wrong. I had more syns this week but that was knowingly and I was definitely within my allowance of 15 a day- not once did I go over.

I gained 1/2lb this week. God knows where that came from!!

But you know, I was full of acceptance- the scales said what they did and that is ok. Nothing I can do about it now.

Straight after getting weighed, however, I went straight to McDonalds and enjoyed a meal there. Only a regular one, I didn't get a big meal- and yes, I did enjoy it. My first McDonalds in about 15-16 months, at least!

I went back to group- which was very positive, which it always is to be honest, our group is amazing! 

I said to myself that I was going to get chinese on the way home and enjoy that. I get there- it was shut!!! Divine intervention, much? Well.....I should have taken that on board really. I got home, instead and had a few pieces of butter on toast, as well as some chocolate, meringues, syrup.....lots of gunk I shouldn't have had really! I think I have already gone over the weekly allowance! 

It's sad, really, because as I was eating a chocolate bar, I was sitting there going "I don't want this!!!" yet there I was, still eating it! I'm sure some people can identify with this. I'm addicted to food- actually, I tend to get addicted to anything and everything, given half the chance! After I ate it, I felt a bit icky- but at least I saw what I was like. 

I sometimes get like this- I have a binge then think "next time- I won't do it- I'll know better". Of course, it never works like that. I know that it's something I need to look into a bit more. I still think, in my head, "fat Tanya" is there, waddling around, wanting to cause a bit of mayhem and upset. What I need to do is to shut her up- just not with chocolate! 

I am ok now- I really am. You know what though? This is a brand new week now....look what I have....


Here is a gorgeous line- it separates whatever I've done tonight and the previous week with the brand new week that I have to look forward to! Now is a brand new week! What am I going to do about it? Well- these are my pledges for this week:

1) Plannage!

I am going to plan more meals. Even if it's just make some quick soups or stirfrys. Proper cooked meals, with my 1/3 superfree with every meal! The night before, before my head hits the pillow for bed, I will plan my meals, healthy extras, syns, everything!

2) More water!

Yes- I am going to drink more water- I have drunk a lot of coffee lately- so going to have more water, or sugar free cordial- keep me flushed out!

3) More body magic!

I am going to pledge to do at least an extra half hour of body magic a day- on top of my normal walking to/from places. Be it Wii Fit (it's been a while) or Just Dance (even more of a while) or just wandering around the block for a bit!
I'm also going to plan my time better so when I'm going to work, or meeting up with someone, I can walk there- rather than rely on lifts or buses. This is a must!

4) Positive Mental Attitude!

Yes- I am going to try my hardest to remain positive, energised and happy. A hard one for me, especially when my anxiety plays up, like it has done lately- but I am going to work on it- lots of happy music, good company and just positive thinking.

5) Food Diaries!

Yep- this too- as well as the planning I am going to write it all down- every time I use milk, every piece of fruit, yoghurt- anything that passes my lips will be written down!

6) Sleep!

Yes! I need to start getting to bed earlier- seriously! I seem to be more exhausted these days and I miss early mornings- as weird as it sounds! So I'm going to aim to get to bed a touch earlier for the next week (maybe not tonight- looking at the time!)

These are my 6 steps to success- maybe! At the very least damage limitation! We shall see how it goes eh?

Next week- I do have a lot to look forward to! I am going out with some friends on Saturday night- a mate of mine is owner of a new club in New Brighton, we're going to support him- lots of dancing and just an all round great time to be had!

Also- we have Caz Wright (Slimming World's Woman of the Year) coming to our groups next Tuesday to do her thing. She's coming over the day before and staying at mine, so that is something to really look forward to. I love spending time with her, she's a good friend now and she really is awesome!

I have a few extra shifts at work, which will keep her busy, I am in tomorrow, Thursday and all day Sunday- as well as my off licence work in Friday and Saturday!

It's also payday on friday- so at least I will be back in the black!

So a lot to look forward to and a lot to plan and let's see if I can get to target next week! That would be amazing! We shall see.

Here's to a great week! Food Optimising and Body Magic overload! Heehee

Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Are we there yet?

Not quite!!

2.5lb off this week- wiping out my gain from last week, but still 2lb to target! I got pretty frustrated- more frustrated than I should have done and feel bad for it- but nothing I can do about it now- onwards and downwards!

I haven't given up- I was rather saintly all week and couldn't see anything wrong with my food....

I do, however, have one issue with my food intake for last. I found myself eating too late- every night in fact, I was sitting here eating something past midnight. Most of the time it was due to finishing late at work and being hungry. 

So this week I've made a pledge to not eat after 10pm. I don't go for the "don't eat after Xpm" thing- because it's usually "don't eat after 7pm" or something- which just isn't practical for me. I do like to follow the SW concept of eating when you're hungry. 

Something I needed to do was simply eat earlier- so tried to eat my dinner at about 7-8pm and then not be as hungry later on in the night.

I've done pretty well so far. I think tuesday and wednesday I just had a few grapes and yesterday I just had my milkshake (just to use up my left over HEA!) Today I was hardcore- I actually had a few spoons of left over tomato soup (syn free of course),  a greek style muller *gasp* and I'm going to have a hot chocolate in bed *double gasp*

But I haven't had anything heavy at all this week after 10pm and I'm pretty chuffed with myself!

I really hope for that last 2lb to be gone by Tuesday! I really really want my 10 stone award and target badge!!!

Anyway- I'm in work at 10, so must go get my sleep- hot chocolate first!!!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Monday, 18 June 2012

Food Diary Day Six and achy legs!

Well I was expecting some kind of discomfort but ouchies! My poor legs are stiff! I had a nice hot bath this morning and that helped some. 

Went to my counselling appointment- which really helped. I am finding that I am becoming quite accepting of my new body, new image and new life. 

I enjoyed coffee with Chris- but I always do, that's nothing new. I received a call while we were in Starbucks off work, asking me to do a 5-10 shift tonight- of course, I said yes. That's another £30 towards the holiday!

The walk home was lovely- it was really sunny and enjoyed the warmth and sunshine!

Work was good, went quick. I got a lift home off a colleague, because it was starting to get a bit rainy and cold.

I have just mooched for the rest of this evening really. It is time for bed soon- rest my sore legs. But first! Food Diary!


summer fruits


coffee w/2 dash milk (1)


2x salmon
rice w/ quark and herbs
soy sauce

minestrone mugshot
2x satsuma


3x skinny lizzie sausages (3)
2x fried egg
2x small wholemeal bread
tin beans
mushrooms (lotsa mushrooms!!)

banoffee muller (1)

strawberry milkshake

HEA- milk
HEB- 2x small slices of wholemeal
Syns for the day- 5
Syns for the week- 44

Ok I am admitting something right now....

I have scale hopped something chronic this week! And I am not looking forward to tomorrow. I really need to ban myself and just concentrate on Tuesdays- I tell people to only weigh once a week, and usually I do the odd weigh on the Wii and take no notice- but I have been a little obsessive this week!

I'm going to stop doing it- it's not good for me. I am dreading tomorrow only because I really wanted to get to target and I don't think I will have done! But, on the flip side I can always get it next week- no rush!

Anyway- more positives- I fitted into my size 12 bootcut jeans today! Chuffed to bits! I have lost a few inches lately from different places- my legs and hips, as well as the tops of my arms! 

Right- it is time for bed for me. Lots to do tomorrow before weigh in- keep your fingers crossed for me please!

Much Love,

Tanya x

Sunday, 17 June 2012

I did it! (and Food Diary, day 5)

Before the Race!
Yep! I did it!! I completed the Race For Life and I ran/jogged the whole thing! No walking and no stopping!!! It was really emotional crossing the finish line, knowing that something I never thought I could manage, I did!

Because of the amount of people in front of us (we stupidly went with the joggers- next time we'll have to go with the runners!!) we didn't start until the timer said 1.50 and after about 10 metres we were stalled because of people just walking for a bit and causing "traffic" but after 100m or so we managed to get jogging- weaving in and out of people most of the way!

After about 2k or so I lost Kate, the friend I was jogging with, I overtook some people and happened to lose her but just kept going. 

Afterwards- pooped but feeling great!
Kate and I showing off our medals!
I hit a "wall" at about 3.5k or so and started to feel sick, but once I hit the 4km mark and knew I was nearly there, I was determined to finish! When I got to the last 500m I could actually see the finish line so was just going for it- and finished strong! The time on the timer said 33.54. So minus the stalled start and the time delay in starting I technically did it in under 30 minutes- which is awesome!

Next time though- we're going to start with the runners, rather than the joggers, because I jogged but at a quickish pace (having long legs has it advantages!) and it is less likely to be gridlocked at the start! That's the plan- definitely can't wait to do it again! Haha!

We went for lunch after- had a roast dinner with extra veggies and then we headed home. I was out more or less straight away- after getting changed- because I was heading to Chris's for a coffee and a natter, which I really enjoyed- I always do.

I then popped into the off licence to speak to my boss about something and went to see some friends down in New Brighton. 

All in all, it's been a very busy day! I am pooped and was hoping to get an earlyish night- yeah right!!

Ok so food- of course- it's all about the food- now to work out how many syns I've actually had!


summer fruit


Chicken Roast:
Chicken breast
Roast potatoes (6)
Yorkshire pudding (3)
Gravy (2)
2x peas and carrots

hifi light bar

Greek yoghurt (1/2)
2x coffee w/dash skimmed milk (1)

Small bowl "scouse" (1)



roast beef
sweetcorn and peas
carrot and swede
boiled potatoes
roast potato (1)
syn free onion gravy

lemon curd

2x coffee w/ 50ml 1% milk
1x tea w/50ml 1% milk
hifi light bar

HEA- milk
HEB- hifi light bars
syns- 14 1/2 (couldn't do that again if I tried!!!!)
total syns for the week- 39

So ok today's syns were high but to be honest I deserved it! I still stuck to within my allowance which is great- I'm very happy with that! I ate well and exercised most of the syns off I'm guessing!

Anyway- back to my normal self tomorrow! Might be hobbling around a bit though!!

I have a social day ahead- which is awesome- looking forward to it- and hoping that all this hard work I've put in will pay dividends on the scales on Tuesday- 4.5lb off this week to get to target would be amazing- I am really hoping!!

Speak tomorrow!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 16 June 2012

Food Diary, Day 4 and sore knees!

Good evening!

Ow ow ow I have a bad knee! Not even trying to make an excuse- it genuinely hurts! Damn this sod and his law!!!! I'm going to head to bed soon to rest it- I'm praying it's better by the morning! I'm getting worried!

I was working at both Asda and the off licence today. Asda was good- shift went quick- even quicker because they wanted me to go home early- so I agreed to go at 1. I then found out that I was finishing at the same time as a colleague I like to chat to. We had a good catch up and I enjoyed the natter!

Had a bit more time to relax before work, but not much! I was in work for 4. 

It was rather hectic to say the least. Lots of people coming in, more than usual because one of the convenience stores apparently lost power! I was rather flustered and started to get a bit panicky (my nerves still play up now and again). Made a few mistakes but there's nothing I can do about it now. There were a couple of issues about my shift (can't really get into it) and I have decided to speak to my boss about it. If something is stressing me out so much that it's inducing panic- I need to do something about it! I need to be proactive!

Anyway- my food diary for today (I feel like I have binged because of what I ate for supper but oh well!)


Magic Porridge (35g porridge oats and a fruit activia snackpot yoghurt)
Summer Berries

100g Low Fat natural yoghurt (1)


3x skinny lizzie sausages (3)
3 egg omelette
3 rashers bacon

tea w/50ml 1% milk

coffee w/ dash skimmed milk (1/2)


Roast chicken mugshot
Mediterranean side salad


2x hot and spicy chicken breast fillets
uncle ben's savoury chicken express rice (2 1/2)
peppers, rocket salad and tomatoes

syn free lemon curd

HEA- milk (300ml 1% milk- about to finish the allowance off)
HEB- porridge
Syns for today- 7
Syns so far this week - 24 1/2

Ok I have found that I am eating way too late- it's getting silly. I've decided to try and eat a bit earlier- which is really hard when I'm working but when I'm not, there are no excuses really! So that's my pledge- something for me to try!

Oh- the low fat yoghurt for 1 syn I had- that was a big "oops" on my part. I thought it was a syn free one (I thought it was fat free- even though not all fat free foods are syn free- fat free natural yoghurt I believe is free- but it wasn't fat free!) thank goodness I didn't eat half the tub (at least!) like I usually do!

Ok I need to get to bed- 8am will be here very fast and I need to get things ready for my run tomorrow!

Hopefully a good update will be here tomorrow!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Friday, 15 June 2012

Food Diary, day 3 and Pre-run nerves!

Hello! Me again! Bet you're getting sick of me now eh!

Today has been interesting- even though I haven't done much really!

I had a lovely sleep in and felt very rested. I chatted to Julie on text for a bit (mainly me telling her to stop rubbing in that she's had one of the new rocky road bars since I have to wait until Tuesday for mine!) I remembered to ask her about a contact name and number for someone in head office in regards to any publicity I get. I was advised a while back that if I was ever approached then I should direct them to head office. Which was great, but I didn't know *who* exactly to send them to.

Anyway- Julie told me to contact someone called Nicala and gave me a number to call, as she wanted a chat. I told her about a couple of journalists that have contacted me over the last month and she said that all I need to do is forward her contact details to them so they can speak to her. She knows what she's doing- it's great that SW have my back- it's not like I have much experience in these kind of things!

I then had a natter with Julie on the phone- which was nice- I always like talking to her. She's been a big strength and great support- I don't think I would have lost the weight without her!

I was at the off licence today- 6 hours. It went quite quick actually- it was mad busy until about 7.30 then it quieted down a lot. It went rather smoothly- but of course- being a panicky kind of person, I'm wondering how I messed up! I'm sure that'll get easier as time goes on- I'm still getting used to the fact that I haven't got Abby to remind me when I've forgotten something!

I visited dad after work for a bit then wandered home, actually jogged most of the way! Was rather chuffed with myself.

Even though I find myself jogging more, I am getting more and more nervous about sunday. I haven't run that far yet and I am worried about not finishing! But I am rather determined. Only 2 more sleeps to go! It's going to be fun- I know this!

I've eaten rather well today. Here is my food diary


Summer Fruits
Muller greek style yoghurt (1/2)


4x Iceland Chicken Skewers
mixed beans with passata and herbs
Rocket Salad, tomatoes and beetroot

Coffee w/50ml 1% milk
Chocolate Cake (2)
Greek style yoghurt (1/2)
Hifi light bar 

Coffee w/dash skimmed milk (1/2)


2x Salmon Fillet 
Noodles w/quark
Mushrooms and peppers
Green beans

Banoffee yoghurt (1)
hifi light bar
tea w/50ml 1% milk

I've just noticed that I'm not at my 5 syns for today so going to grab another greek yoghurt (1/2) to make it up to 5- because I don't want to go under my 5 syn recommendation- I actually want to stick to plan how it's intended- or as much as possible

Green = Superfree Food
Black = Free Food
Pink = Healthy Extras
Blue = Syns

So my Healthy Extras and syns today

HEA- Milk (will consume leftovers in a little bit)
HEA- hifi light
Syns for today= 5
Syns so far this week = 17 1/2

Right! I need to get my bum to bed! I am in work an hour earlier tomorrow- so technically working 12 hours (not counting the 1 1/2 hour break between jobs) I need my sleep.

It's going to be busy busy! Going to make magic porridge for the morning- start my day off right with a decent breakfast!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Chocolate Cake and Food Diary, Day 2

Good evening!

I was going to type this up and then got waylaid, turned computer off and realised "damn! Blog!" So computer went back on and I am here!!

I have a food diary and recipe just for you!

Today's food:


Banana and custard muller light


Small portion of baked bean lasagna
bistro salad

Coffee w/4 dashes skimmed milk (2)


Remainder of lasagna
More salad and tomatoes


Salmon Fillet (just microwaved)
Stuffed Pepper- with rice, quark, chilli flakes, garlic, chives and soy sauce
Rocket salad and tomatoes

Greek style muller (1/2)
hifi light 


2x chocolate cake (4)
coconut and dark choc muller light
summer fruits

Just a reminder of the colour coding:

Green = Superfree Food
Black = Free Food
Pink = Healthy Extras
Blue = Syns

So my Healthy Extras and syns today

HEA- Milk (will have tea and some measured out milk before bed)
HEA- hifi light (have one left to have as they are 2 for a B and only had one so far)
Syns for today= 6 1/2
Syns so far this week = 12 1/2

I feel like I've eaten lots today- I am very full- but I'm sure I'll find room for another hifi bar and a cuppa- always room for a cuppa.

The only reason why I have synned the milk is that there was no way to accurately measure it (I was at starbucks and they don't have any measuring jug thingies) I am being very good so I thought it would be better to syn the dashes rather than guess a measurement for the healthy extra.

So- this chocolate cake that I mentioned- and had 2 of. I remembered it being mentioned at a SW group I went to a few weeks ago. I also saw it on a Facebook page I go on (Diet Momma). I've been meaning to try it out so thought tonight "what the hell". Made one and it didn't last long so decided to make another one and make it a bit more presentable for a picture.

Here is the recipe:

1x egg
1x sachet (or 11g) of options hot chocolate powder
1 dessert spoon sweetener (I thoroughly recommend Asda's own granulated stuff- it's like canderal but without the horrid after taste!)

Beat the egg, mix in the sweetener and chocolate powder.
Heat in the microwave for 1 1/2 minutes

Voila! Chocolate cake!

It's not the greatest cake in the whole world, but you know what? For 2 syns it's pretty darn tasty!

I recommend having it with berries and a coconut (with chocolate sprinkles) muller light yoghurt. Fab sweet hit if you need it- and only 2 syns each!

Today has been a good day. I'm still a bit moody and seem to be getting lonely a lot. I spent a few hours with Chris and got a lift home off her husband. I rushed around to get ready for work (They called me and asked if I could do a few hours tonight- of course, I said yes!)

I got home and mum had been for a meal with her best friend- they were both a bit pickled. Mum, just before she was going to bed, decided to run a bath. Forgot about said bath and flooded the kitchen (which I have done before so can't really judge!)

I've not done much since then, mainly just read inboxes and emails, replied to most of them and now I think it is time for bed!

I'm still overtired, weirdly enough- even though I am sleeping a good 7 hours- albeit pretty disturbed sleep. I'm going to have a long think over the next few days as to what is really going on in my head. Spring clean and sort out the rubbish in there!

At least my eating is good- sticking to plan and being rather positive about that- I am really hoping that those scales are nice to me on Tuesday!

On a very positive note- Julie is back! She sent me a little message on Facebook chat this morning just before I set out to see Chris. It's good to have her back and I look forward to catching up with her on Tuesday! Hopefully she'll have a little present for me (my target badge!!) 

Ok time for bed for me- with my cuppa and hifi light!

Hopefully another update tomorrow with more food!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Lemon Curd, Lasagna and (finally!!) a Food Diary!

hi guys- long time no speak!! heehee

today has been hectic and boy am I ready for my bed! I will be going as soon as I have done this post- because I have a nice, busy day tomorrow.

Ok I wrote out exactly what I ate today. I'm going to play around with the colour of font and stuff to make things a bit more interesting (I like playing with new things!!!)


3x satsuma
Tea w/ 50ml milk


3x skinny lizzie sausages (3)
2x fried egg
3x rashers bacon
2/3 tin beans
fried mushrooms+ tomatoes


2x Coffee w/ dash skimmed milk (1)
Mini cake tester (2)


Baked Bean lasagna
Bistro salad 

2-3 spoons syn free lemon curd

Coffee w/50ml milk


2x satsuma
vanilla muller light
lemon curd

cranberry hifi bar

Ok so if you don't know what is what:

Green= superfree food
Black= free food
Pink= Healthy extras
Blue= Syns

I always have at least 1/3 of my meal superfree- so I may not have put the exact amount in- but like with dinner- half my plate, if not a bit more, was salad and tomatoes- and that doesn't include the superfree in the actual lasagna!

So a breakdown of healthy extras and syns

HEA- Milk (measured out)
HEB- hifi bar
Syns- 6

The tester cake I had was a rice krispie cake thing. It was only tiny- and I feel I am over synning it- but better be safe than sorry!

You may have noticed that I have not quite had a full HEA of milk- but I'm going to have a cuppa before bed with measured milk and the rest I'll just drink on it's own.

I'm still stuffed!

Now- I can't mention stuff like syn free lemon curd and baked bean lasagna and not post the recipe, can I? No- so here, have some recipes!

Baked Bean Lasagna

Syn free on EE

2 tins baked beans
1 carton passata
1 large onion (diced)
2 large mushrooms (diced)
lasagna sheets (I needed 6)
tobasco sauce
Worcestershire sauce
garlic granules, mixed herbs, black pepper (to taste)

1 large tub syn free cottage cheese

1) Fry mushrooms and onions in large pan
2) Add beans, passata and all herbs/sauces to taste. Personally I used quite a bit of Worcestershire sauce because I love the stuff! Simmer until thickened a bit.
3) Layer some of the mixture into a flat dish.
4) Add a layer of lasagna sheets (about 3 sheets due to the size of my dish)

5) repeat steps 3+4
6) add a final layer of mixture.
7) Put cottage cheese in mixing bowl and beat until smooth, add herbs to taste.
8) Spoon on top of mixture
9) Place in the oven on gas mark 6 for 20-25 mins

I would recommend using a knife and cutting it a bit before trying to serve up- it got rather messy for me- but it still tasted amazing!

A lot of people just put cheese (HEA or syns) on the top instead of cottage cheese- but I was being stingy! And had already had milk for part of my HEA

It's rather filling in my opinion so I recommend only having salad with it. I usually eat tonnes but I managed about a quarter of this! More for me tomorrow for lunch or dinner!

Ok and on to the lemon curd!!! Seriously this is amazing stuff- gorgeous and I can't wait to make it again!

You need:

2x large eggs
1x large lemon (rind and juice)
3-4 tablespoons sweetener (depending on your taste)
2x tablespoons quark

Whisk eggs in mixing bowl. Add the lemon juice, rind and sweetener and mix well.
Boil a pan of water and place bowl over it. whisk until mixture is thickened.
Take pan off the heat and mix in quark. You may need more sweetener just taste it and see what you think.
Put in a jar (we plan on using a jam jar we have next time) and leave to cool in the fridge.

It's amazing- tangy and sweet and totally free! Great to have with maybe ice cream or as a filling for 1/2 syn cake!

Ok this was only going to be a short one but it's taken me ages to type it up. I must finish doing the dishes and head to bed with my cuppa!

Today has been good- been busy, only had 6 syns and am stuffed! Going to continue my good streak as I really want to lose that last 4.5lb this week to get to target!!!!!

Now, time to get off here.
Hopefully another food diary to follow! 

Much Love,

Tanya x

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Self Sabotage, Gains and Feeling Raw

Ok bear with me, I know this sounds totally negative but I'll put a positive spin on it, promise!!

So this week I've struggled a bit more than usual- ok I had a meal out and a couple of takeaways....but I have had a few moments of absolute stupidity. Where I've eaten stuff that I shouldn't have eaten and just comfort ate. 

Truth is, I am still feeling extremely emotional because of the events of the last few weeks. I realised today that I have some kind of abandonment complex going on. I tend to get very clingy sometimes, especially when I'm overtired, irritable and emotional. Even though I'm working on that, there's that bit of me that thinks that the stuff that happened over the last couple of weeks can and will happen again. Constant paranoia and getting upset over it. It's something I just need to get over and fast. Sometimes it's so hard to not listen to the head when it goes off on one. 

I know what I need to do actually- I need to do some in depth work on my head- because really the reason why I wanted to lose weight was, for one of many reasons, to be happy. Right now, I'm not particularly happy. that is when I need to do something about it. I know what to do- I just need to do it. So....a lot of thinking is going to be done and a lot of work. Watch this space!

Anyway- I have found that because of my mood, I have just eaten rubbish at any chance- which doesn't help, I know it doesn't. I may have lost nearly 10 stone but I am still human and I still mess up- on a regular basis. That's ok though- you know why? Because I'm not giving up! I get back on that wagon and I try again. The only time you fail is if you give up completely. If you mess up, eat your own body weight in chocolate and and biscuits- you haven't failed. Yeah it wasn't a clever thing to do- but it just shows that you are, indeed human. Draw a line under it, start again and just try your best. That's all you can do! That's all I can do.

I have support from others, friends, family, my SW buddies and Julie. I need never be alone. I have to remember that- with every aspect of my life when I'm struggling. I can isolate pretty well, which makes matters worse. I need to reach out sometimes and say "hey- I'm not doing too well at the moment- can you help?" Sometimes "help" can be anything from just sitting with a coffee and ranting to working out something practically or even just a hug. I love helping others, but feel as though I don't deserve support myself sometimes. Which is bull- I do deserve it, just as much as anyone else. I need to remember that. I might get a poster put up saying just that!

Well, now that's out in the open, time to get onto these positives!

I gained this week. Wait? Didn't I say I was going to the positives? Well- I think it is a positive. In a way. I gained- I deserved it, I accepted it and I'm happy about it. I stepped off the scales and a new week began. I  gained 2 1/2lb, which means I am 4 1/2lb away from target. 

I'll give you 2 guesses as to what number I'm aiming for next week!

I'm going to plan this week- I'm going to write everything down actually. People keep asking me for a food diary so I'm going to write it all down starting from tomorrow. It will help me as I'll have a daily accountability and it will possibly help others with their weight loss- what a bonus!!

This week, Julie was on holiday. So another consultant, Liz, stepped in. It was good, I got a lot from chatting to her, even if it was very short. I couldn't stay for the whole of image therapy, I wish I were able to but at least I got something from the bit I was there.

I went over to Liverpool to meet up with Carole (those who don't know who I mean, she's the woman of the year who was at our charity do a few weeks ago- someone who I class as a good friend and she's just an all round awesome girly!) and her son, Jono. We went to Skinni Malinx for a late lunch. Stuffed my face with soup, sausage hotpot and jelly and custard- believe it or not, only 3 syns for the lot!!! Then we went around the shops for a bit and then coffee. I didn't want to leave- but I had my duties as money-taker at the 7pm group! 

Funny story- when I got on the bus, I have a student pass and the picture I have is about 4 years old. The bus driver called me back after I went to sit down and he insisted that the bus pass wasn't mine! He was adamant that it wasn't me in the picture! I explained to him about my weight loss and was lucky enough to have my SW pack in my bag to show him "proof". He apologised, said well done and I sat down- feeling pretty damn awesome, if I'm honest!

I then went to group, took the money, had a natter with Heather, the woman who does the weighing and it was a nice hour or so!

I went home, cooked dinner (hoisin duck skewers, syn free egg fried rice, SW chips and salad) and relaxed for a bit. I was feeling a little disturbed- because of things mentioned before, so went to Kate's for a coffee and a natter. I felt good afterwards- we had a laugh- while she made cake pops, or whatever they're called. 

I'm now home- nearly ready for bed. 

This week is going to be good- I'm determined. I might be feeling vulnerable and a bit "icky" but I have faith that this will pass- I'm not going to feel crappy forever- and I shouldn't let my weight loss be affected by this- because what's it going to solve? Nothing. 

I'm hoping that in the coming days, weeks, my mood will really lift- and I can be where I was, mood wise, this time last month. 

On another positive (nearly forgot!) I have another holiday booked! We booked it, Chris and I, yesterday. A week in Lanzarote, all inclusive (uh oh!! haha). I'm really looking forward to it. We go in just under 15 weeks. So I have plenty of time to get used to maintaining! Time off at both jobs is booked and I am getting excited already! Hoping to be working hard over the summer, crossing fingers for lots of hours to earn some extra pennies!

Ok, it is time for bed for me. I need my rest- I have  a busy day tomorrow- meeting up with a woman my mum works with, never met her before but we've chatted on facebook, she seems awesome. She does SW and is doing really well. Then I need to do some jogging and call the damn tax office!! (I've been meaning to do that for weeks now!!!)

Thanks to everyone who has supported on my journey so far. There are so many people to thank and I will do it one day- but I bet you all know who you are anyway!!

Much Love, 

Tanya x

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Being back on track

Hi guys! Long time no speak!

Life has been so hectic for me lately that I've just had no time to do an update- story of my life really!!

The last 2 weeks have been pretty draining for me to say the least. For 11 days, I struggled big time when my best friend decided to take a step back. I was in a state, if I'm honest. Mainly because I didn't know what was going on- I was wondering what I had done, if she was ok, if something had happened. My mind was just racing over and over- my sleeping was terrible, I wasn't rested and I felt like I was in a rut.

After 11 days (I got a text a few days before offering for us to meet and we had a short phone call in my lunchbreak to discuss it) we met up for coffee and she told me what was going on.

In a nutshell, it wasn't something that I had done to her (thank god) and she was ok (double thank god) but it was more about what people were saying ABOUT me in certain situations that was the problem. She heard a lot of negativity around me and she wanted to take time to think about things, how to deal with those issues. It wasn't just about me, she had personal issues to deal with too...

I'm not going to go in depth about what was said- let's just say that people were calling me a few nasty things, making nasty judgements and not bothering to find out the real me or why I do things. Some things, thinking about it, are down to jealousy whereas some things were, I'm hoping, were down to concern for my behaviour, even if it was a poor way of going about it.

Anyway- the most important thing is me and my friend are ok- everything else is just background stuff.

I'm very tired though- had my first good night's sleep last night- still exhausted though- hope for a good sleep tonight- going straight to bed after I've sent this.

Back to weight loss stuff!!

This week I lost 6lb! I was shocked yet rather chuffed. Not only was I back in the 12's (quite comfortably) but I got my 9 1/2 stone award back and for the first time in my adult life I am HEALTHY! bmi of 24.8 which puts me in ideal- oh my god!

Even better I am only 2lb away from target!! It's just there! 

I have had a couple of....naughty days. I went for a meal with a friend on thursday and enjoyed myself- had a few choccies in the evening. Tuesday I had about 20 syns. Nothing major but I just wanted a bit of time to enjoy myself- but every other day I have been within my syns. I am hoping for the 2lb off but if I don't there is always next week!!

I can't wait to wear my target badge with pride!!

Ok- I know it's a short one but it's time for bed. I need my sleep- 6 hours at work tomorrow followed by dinner and going to visit my best friend! She's good at giving me a bit of sanity!

I'm still positive and feeling good- albeit rather drained- but that will pass

Much love,
Tanya x