Friday, 30 December 2011

2011 in a nutshell

So, this is it guys- my last blog post of 2011! I can't believe how fast this year has gone, it doesn't seem long since I started my Slimming World journey, even though it was 8 1/2 months ago!

What has 2011 been like for me?

I've gotta be honest, this is one of the best years that I've had, in a long while. Not only am I 6 1/2 stone lighter than I was this time last year, but my confidence has been boosted and my quality of life is generally a lot better.

A year ago, I never thought I could get a job. I thought that I was a waste of space with no hope of achieving anything. Another failed attempt at university was looming and I was just feeling like a complete disappointment.

I knew that my family were ashamed of me. Wouldn't be seen out with me, because I looked so horrendous, wouldn't show people pictures of me because of how fat I was. Might not be the nicest thing in the world, but it was definitely a wake up call for me. The last thing I wanted was to make the people I loved ashamed of me. I had no job, my education was still on the edge of failure and my health (physical and mental) were going down the toilet.

It may have taken a while to eventually get the help I needed when it came to my weight. I had stopped attending lectures because other students were making fun of me. Making snide comments in earshot, making "oink" noises when I waddled past...I couldn't bear it anymore, so I gave up.

In April, after seeing a good friend of mine lose a decent amount of weight with SW, I decided (with some financial support from another friend) that I should give it a go. I know that some people close to me had the "I'll believe it when I see it" attitude- and rightly so- they had seen me try to lose weight many times and fail. 

It took me a while to get into the swing of things. I actually looked at the time it took to get my different awards. 2 weeks to get my 1/2 stone award. Then I had to wait another 5 weeks to get my 1 stone award. Every other 1/2 stone award has taken either 2-3 weeks to achieve, so I can safely say that it took a while to get used to SW. But with the support of the group, Julie, my close friends and some of my family members (my mum and Niall mainly) I started to lose the pounds pretty quickly.

With the weight loss comes a new found confidence. I could go out on my own more, without having panic attacks. The first time I went out and didn't freak out at all was after losing about 3 stone. Before that point I used to be extremely fearful, no matter how far out the house I went. I still get my moments now, I don't think that I'm going to get rid of the anxiety fully any time soon. But it's all about putting one foot in front of the other and coping with the anxieties when they appear. 

This new confidence I have has given me the ability to apply for jobs and to actually work for the first time in forever. Ok, I did have my voluntary job, but some days I just didn't turn up, because I panicked about going out, or I was achy or just not feeling well. The 2 jobs that I have now I have a 100% attendance rate. Might not sound like much to some of you, but to me that is a huge deal. I am more reliable than I ever was (even though my timekeeping still leaves a lot to be desired!!!). I enjoy my jobs. In fact, I am really sad about my last shift at Asda (which is this Sunday). Looking positively though- I am going to be kept on a seasonal contract- which means that I can go back at Easter, and any other busy times of the year. So it's not the end there! You never know- I might end up getting a permanent job there! (here's hoping)

One other thing I have learned this year is that negative people are not worth staying in my life. There have been some friends and family who I have decided to detach from. Either because their drama was no longer amusing me or because their negativity was grinding me down. On one side, I think it's a bit hypocritcal of me- I was extremely negative all the time, but most people stuck by me...but on the other hand I am trying to heal and become positive and have a better outlook on life. I can't do that with drama llamas and uber pessimists around me all the time.

So the only people I let into my life are people who I love, respect and care about. People who do have bad times happen in their lives, but have the ability to see light and shine rather than sit in the dark moping. People who make me laugh.

This year has been pretty awesome for me. I'm actually a bit sad that it's leaving- but I'm looking forward to 2012. If 2011 has been great- then next year can be even more so!

It's so exciting!

I'm so glad to have you lot with me on this journey. I wouldn't be who I am without you- that's the truth. I love my life, yes there are a few things I would change, but I can accept that I am exactly where I am meant to be right now.

I lie- I should be in bed right now- and that's where I am going now!

So- happy new year. I truly hope that 2012 is a great year for all of us!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Happy Christmas!

Or Merry Christmas if you're reading this a little bit tipsy! 

This week has been pretty hectic, with long shifts at Asda as well as the normal hours in the off licence. But I survived my Asda-thon and am enjoying my day off today!

I'm wondering how many Slimming World members have stuck to plan today. I haven't! I've had 47 syns today. Ok, that's 3 times more than the daily amount we should have- but I have only had a few syns each day this week. So I won't be over for the whole week!

Back on plan 100% from tomorrow!

So work has been hectic. It was a 65 hour week this week. I'm in 8am-5pm tomorrow in a different department and I'm guessing that it's going to be mad busy since sales start tomorrow. I'm not feeling too great today physically. I have a very scratchy throat and have a bit of a cough. I hope that I feel better tomorrow, the last thing I want to do is feel like poop when working  for 9 hours! 

I've agreed to overtime too- some hours on Tuesday to Thursday. Not many hours, but it's better than nothing! More money in the pot!

I've had a lovely day today, even though I've been feeling under the weather. I enjoyed a lie in. Then opened presents with mum, Niall and Jamie. After breakfast I went to visit my dad, then to my friend's for a few hours. 

Christmas dinner was awesome, and I did indulge a bit more than planned but that's ok. Last year I ate lot more, as well as drinking copious amounts of J20s. So in comparison to last year, I have been rather saintly!

There have been a few people who have told me that they have been off plan for a while, and will get back on the "wagon" in the new year. That's ok if they're happy with that. But for me, I wouldn't want to go overboard for longer than 1 day. I wouldn't want to go back to my old habits, which has taken a lot of effort to get out of. I don't want to be back there. I didn't like the person that I was becoming, which was basically a useless slob, for want of a better term. I was a state. Even though my head may not be in the perfect place, I am getting there, slowly but surely. I'm a work in progress, I still want to be progressing. There is no way I want to go back to the old Tanya. She's long gone.

So one day, that's all I wanted, and I got it. Maybe a bit more naughty than planned, but I enjoyed it, that's all that matters. Of course, I'm hoping the scales don't penalise me for this, they shouldn't- I just need to be as active as I can over the next 2 days and eat a lot of superfree food. 2 days to make it happen!

Anyhoo- i think it's time for bed. Hope to update a bit more next time, when I'm feeling a bit better. 

Crossing fingers that this icky sickiness doesn't last- a green tea before sleep, with some lemon might help soothe it.

Hope you all had a great Christmas Day!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

A Good Day All Round!

Hello there! I bet you're thinking "wait- it's not been a week since the last update has it?" No- no it has not. I really want to get back into this, so I am working hard to find time to do an update. So here we are!

Ok that's it for now...........

Only kidding!

Today has been a good day (can you tell by the title? It's pretty well hidden I know).

Today was Day 3 of Asdathon. My longest shift yet! I was working 12.30-10pm! Which (if you're any good at maths) you can work out as a 9 1/2 hour shift. Woo!

So, because of my hours, I had to get weighed in the morning. So I did. 2.5lb off this week. Even though I was a touch disappointed, I know that 2.5lb is an amazing loss and I should be happy. I think it was just because I had been so good, and worked so hard at staying on plan, I thought I deserved a bigger loss. But not to worry! It's still a big loss!

It was a taster session at group. I was intending on making stuffed tomatoes with bacon and egg (since it was a breakfast time group!) But I didn't get round to it. But I enjoyed what I ate. 

I got home and got ready for work, and set off out for my shift.

It was manic- even though there were quiet moments, the busy times were quite overwhelming. For me, working is a big deal. Considering a year ago, the place I was at mentally and emotionally,  where I was barely able to leave the house, never mind go to a busy superstore and work on the front line, with lots of people around me, talking to people I don't know! It's great really. But, there are moments (I'm sure most people have these too) where I feel extremely overwhelmed and anxious. Which makes me scared of messing up- which causes me to mess up...

Well, there were a few issues with my till- the conveyor belt stopped working, so I was moved to another till. Then it started working again, so I was to move back to my original till. My last customer on the second till gave me about 25 coupons to scan, and they didn't like to scan easily! Which took forever to do.

Then, back on the first till, me feeling run ragged, felt frustrated that I needed one of the runners (or supervisors, I suppose they could be seen as that too) to give me the keys to the lock on the till, so I could open it. When I called from my till (there's a little speaker/phone thingy on each till) the person on the other end answered in a really exasperated, peeved off voice. Maybe it wasn't that, maybe I was just feeling like poop, but it really made me feel bad, like I wanted to cry.

Anyway, I was struggling for a little bit, of course at Asda you have to be all smiley and helpful and I was not feeling the slightest bit "smiley".

One of the runners (who is very...I guess, strict would be the right word) came up to me as I was serving the customer, and rather mentally exhausted (disguised as in a jokey voice) I said "Oh what have I done now?". To which she replied, "Nothing, I just wanted to let you know that a custome paid a compliment to you. So thank you", smiled, then left! My god I was over the moon (after the initial scary moment where I thought she said a customer had made a *complaint*). That got my smile back on my face!

Anyhoo- I managed to persuade the supervisor to give me a joint dinner and break (so 45 minutes) so I could go to my 5pm group- to see everyone before xmas. They might not have been bothered to see me, but to spend half an hour with people that I know, in a place where I feel safe and able to really be myself (I do feel as though where my SW group is is my "safe place" a lot of the time) it really boosted my mood. The cup of tea and the few bits of food really helped!

The second part of my shift was long since I had no break, but I survived, til 10pm, just! A few incidents, like one woman who forgot her purse, so her husband drove to their house to pick it up. but we chatted (about SW actually- because she goes to a local group) and other tills were free, so no worries there. 

I'm tired now though, so much for a quick update! It's now nearly 1am and I'm up at 7.30, so I am totally off to bed right now, I'm exhausted!! 9-8.45 shift tomorrow! I'm going to be pooped! but at least I can have an earlier night!

Hope you're all doing awesome!
Much Love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Feeling Festive!

I am indeed! Which isn't like me at all!

Today was my first day of, what I am calling, Asda-thon. Which is basically the 7 shifts I have at Asda before Christmas. Today was a cosy 12-4.30 (but I got out at 4.15 which was just awesome). Most people were buying their festive goodies, and I was cursing them under my breath for being able to eat such nice, naughty food! heehee.

Tomorrow is day 2- a 3-10pm shift. Which isn't too bad, I can have a nice lie in. But, I have a tonne of stuff to do! I want to head to Morrisons and get my sausages (since I'm all out!) and get myself a lovely alcohol free, mini xmas pud! It's about 15 syns, but we all need to splurge a bit at Christmas, right?

Anyway- I also need to get cooking! Tuesday is weigh day, as always. But since I am working a 12.30-10pm shift, I am going to the early group (9am). We're having a taster session. So I want to make something. With Julie's suggestion (it wasn't her exact suggestion- but it helped!) I'm going to make stuffed cherry tomatoes (wish I had a melon baller, I tells ya!). Because it's morning, and breakfast time, I'm going to make a breakfast one. With bacon and egg with a bit of extra light mayo. There are popular sandwich fillers that are that flavour, and I am a fan, so I hope my home made ones will turn out awesome! we shall see! I'm going to do a test batch just to see how they do, Im going to have some hot and some cold, to see if i can get away with them being cold- saves me cooking on tuesday morning, i can just make a batch tomorrow and leave them for the morning, if they turn out ok!

Another thing I need to do is to sort out Christmas presents. I have only done 1 over the last few days- but I have cut out the shapes for another  4 or 5, all I need to do is stitch them and stuff them. But I need to get ribbon to put on the top so the people who receive them can put them on their tree! Again, more shopping tomorrow. I might just do that before I head to work, then just attach the ribbon when I get home from work- that shouldn't take long at all! I actually love making the presents! And I hope my friends appreciate them, since I made them just for them!

So as you might be able to tell, I am in a bit more of a positive mood than I was in my last blog. See!! I knew it would pass!

The only thing I'm a touch worried about is I was on the Wii this morning and it said that I had gained 3lb! I am hoping that the Wii is just broken or something because I have been an ANGEL this week (well, slimming world wise anyway!). I did 40 minutes walking today, 20 minutes to and from work, and an extra 50 minutes on the wii fit. so some decent body magic.

I hope it pays off!

Looking forward to a great (albeit busy) day tomorrow. Off to have my last cup of tea of the day and head to bed. I want to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for my shift tomorrow!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Friday, 16 December 2011

A Bit of a Stuggle.


Seriously there have been times where I have sat down here and gone "right- time to update my blog" then either someone calls me, emails me, chats to me on facebook, whatever and that's it.

So I want to do a quick(ish) update before I head to bed.

I have been struggling a lot lately, hence why I wanted to update this. Because sometimes just typing it out helps to make me feel better. 

Last week was tough. I picked a lot and ate more than I should have. I was also very lax about syns and taking more for my healthy extras than I should have done. Not surprisingly, I only lost 1/2lb. Now, it could have been so so so much worse, I know this. I deserved a gain- and I'm grateful that I didn't. 

I was rather upset though because I went to group early, specifically to speak to Julie, due to the fact that I had been struggling so much, I really needed to talk it through with her, especially with Christmas coming up and an extremely stressful week leading up to it (more on that in a bit). I get to the building and saw the lights on and thought "great! she's in already!" I go in and all the room was weird- boards I didn't recognise and it was just laid out "weird" (aka I wasn't used to it). And sitting at the laptop wasn't Julie, but Liz, who does the thursday group round the corner from me. Now, I like Liz, she's really nice from what I can tell (I haven't really chatted to her much at length) and I hear she's a great consultant. But she's not Julie (obviously). I guess if I was a different kind of person I would have spoken to Liz. But even with a newfound confidence and being a bit more cheerful (usually) I didn't feel comfortable enough to share all with Liz. I still don't trust easy. I don't know if I ever will, that might just be something that's stuck with me. All I know is that I was definitely gutted not to see Julie's face on Tuesday.

I was initially very worried- because it's not like Julie to not be there. But Liz told me that she was on her holidays. I know it's wrong, but only half of me was happy for her that she was away on holiday. The other half felt somewhat abandoned. I know it's not all about me and I know what I felt was selfish. So please don't remind me of that, it's not going to make things any better. I'm being honest, I was hurting and I felt really down about it. 

Anyway- I got weighed, accepted what the numbers said and ended up calling work to see if they had some available overtime. I rushed home, had some quick food and mum drove me to work. 

Since then I have still been off beam. I am being so anal about stuff- my healthy extras are being measured out and I am sticking on plan to.the.letter. no picking on stuff that isn't free, no matter how tasty it looks. And I tell you now, because my head isn't in the right place, it makes things a million times harder, because all I want to do is buy a massive baguette from Asda and nom on that with a load of butter. It won't make me feel better though. I'll just feel depressed that I ate all that stuff. But my head is saying otherwise.

I just keep telling myself "this too shall pass"

I'm just trying to find time to do everything and be organised for christmas. I have about half a dozen presents and cards to make but with the amount of hours i'm working (including the off licence i'm working about 66 hours next week) and the amount of rest i'll be needing, I'm finding it all quite tough. I wanted to cook a bit more too, but that's not gonna happen!

I'm sad too because I can't go to my regular SW group on Tuesday- because they put me on a 12.30-10pm shift! So I'm getting weighed early (at 9am) I might get there early to speak to Julie- but knowing my luck everyone else will be in the same boat! Especially it being the last weigh in before Christmas! I'm tempted to ask her if we can meet up some time before Christmas, if she's free- but obviously the fear of rejection is stopping me from doing that.

Stupid fear!

Anyhoo- so yeah things, emotionally, are a bit frazzled. But that's ok, really. I'm being good, I'm keeping active and I am hoping for a nice loss on those scales on Tuesday! 

Everything else in my life is good though! I shouldn't (and won't for that matter) forget that. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and I've got a supportive family (ok that basically consists of my mum and my brother- but better than nowt, right???). I have 2 jobs at the moment and will have a bit more money coming in for a little while, which means I'll be out of debt quicker.

Think of the positives, Tanya!

I'll be ok- what I'm feeling is only temporary, people struggle, it happens, right? It's what people DO when they are struggling that can be the problem. I know I could do a lot of things to harm myself- get drunk and comfort eating just being 2 things. But instead I'm going to work hard at my jobs, enjoy the time I do have free to relax and maybe focus on meditation and stick to my awesome Slimming World plan.

And keep at this blog! 

I might not update a lot but of course I appreciate people reading it :)

Ok time for bed, lots to do tomorrow! 

Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 10 December 2011

New Job and Shiny Stickers

Hola! Only me!

I've been meaning to do this for a few days but, as usual, time keeps running away from me- and I'm too slow to chase after it!

Lots of stuff to report- and most of it is good (actually, I think all of it is!)

So you know that interview I had on Friday? Yeah- I got a call on Tuesday evening, literally just as Slimming World finished. It was one of the women who was there doing the shadowing, and she offered me a job! Ok, I applied for chilled and got checkouts- but yay! Job!! I had to go in for an induction on Thursday and for a bit of training. I was chuffed to bits!

So, still on Tuesday, of course, weigh day! I needed 2.5lb for that 6 stone award. And...I lost...

2.5lb! Woohoo!

So I am at 6 stone lost, exactly. In less than 8 months (it'll be 8 months a week on Monday) which is just awesome really. I continue to surprise myself! So that means a new sticker for my book and a new certificate for my fridge! I also won Slimmer of the Week, which was even more awesome. That's 15 slimmer of the weeks in 32 weeks. I bet people are getting sick of me now! heehee.

On to Thursday. My new job training!

Well, it started off disappointingly, because they told us our contracts are only until Christmas Eve! That's only 2 weeks! But, that's more money than if I wasn't working- gotta keep thinking like that. 

We were there for 6 hours, ish. Got lots of paperwork done and watched a lot of cheesy videos. It was nice actually. Moreso when I realised that I was getting paid for being there! 

We had to go in yesterday (Friday) too. For till training. It was a bit quick. We were there for 3 hours and half of it was more forms! we had about half an hour of someone telling us how to work the till, then half an hour of shadowing someone and half an hour of actually having a go ourselves- with the person we were shadowing watching us in case we made any mistakes. So in total, an hour and a half of training. Not long, considering the next day I was going on a till, on my own, with no one behind me (apart from the people on the till behind me of course...)

I got to my shift this afternoon (I was the only new one on the till during that shift) and I got put on a till. I was moved to another one after about 20 minutes, and stayed there for the rest of the shift. Actually, it wasn't bad at all! I was panicking last night about getting it wrong, having a panic attack or just freaking out. I had left an envelope at Asda yesterday, containing a lot of stuff that I needed for today. So I was panicking about not being able to find it. Lo and behold, when I got there, it was in the place I left it. Panic over!

Apart from a couple of double scans, it was more or less incident-free. My mum ended up doing her shopping (with my brother) and I served her (shh- don't tell anyone please- apparently it's not allowed!) she complained that I was scanning the shopping too quickly! She expected me to scan slow. Oh well! heehee.

I got off the till at 4.30 and it was a mad dash to get to the off licence for 5. I was a couple of minutes late- mainly because I wasn't organised. I know for next time (which will be this coming Friday). The shift tonight was ok, Abby and I had a giggle and we made plans to cook each other stuff and have a mini party when we're working on Christmas Eve. I'm looking forward to it already!

Ok- so what else has happened this week?

Well~ last Saturday (I think) I put up a link on facebook which was of a pretty overbust corset that I thought was pretty, but was moaning that I couldn't afford. After a lot of umming and ahhing I decided to order it. I had £16 paypal so only needed a tenner. So I ordered it and I was all happy.

The next morning, Niall commented on the link saying "Merry Christmas your corset is now in the post, on the way to your house! " I was like "oh noooooo- 2 of the same one!!" so I emailed the company, asked if I could swap the one I ordered for a different one of the same price. I received an email a few hours later. "Your order has been dispatched" DAMMIT! Oh well- I'll send it back (when the one Niall ordered gets here!)

At least I have one for tomorrow!

"What's tomorrow?" I hear you ask. Well, I am going to a convention during the day and to a dance in the evening. I have had my pretty lace dress taken in so it fits better, and my corset is going to be worn over it (for the dance, of course). Most of the people that I am going to see there are people who I haven't seen for over a year. There are a few people who I have seen since I joined Slimming World, but most of them I haven't seen since about June, so I'll be all skinny compared to how they will have remembered me. So expecting one or 2 comments (awesome!)

Hoping to have my picture taken tomorrow, to show off my new outfit!

Ok I am going to bed now, very late night tonight, but an update was well overdue! Got lots to share, I'm sure I'll get round to it! I can't believe how hectic life is right now! I love it!!

Much Love, 
Tanya x

Saturday, 3 December 2011


Haha- bet you weren't expecting me were you?

I'm sorry bloggees- I have received a few stern words from people due to my lack of updates. I do have a very valid reason (I think)

Last Saturday I got told off for my terrible sleeping pattern (aka going to bed at 5am and waking up at some point in the afternoon- usually about 1.30pm). Basically, what happened was, my friend was coming over for a coffee. I did set my alarm for midday, giving me plenty of time to get up, get changed and potter about for a bit. Right? 

Well- in theory that would work great- but I never take into consideration the fact that I can sleep through any alarm. 

My poor friend was waiting outside for me (albeit not for long) and my mum had to let her in (when she got home from work). I felt terrible! And after a few stern words from her (she's a retired teacher- you can imagine what "stern words" means!) I thought it was a good idea to get back into a regular routine.

So since then (with the exception of tonight) I've been in bed before midnight and up between 8am and 10.30am (which is a huge improvement). It was hard work though.

Tonight, I was planning on going to bed about 1, but I started listening to music, uh oh. So I'm going to write this and head off to the land of nod!

Anyway- since the getting up early thing, I've been moving around more- getting out the house, spending a bit less time on the computer. I have always written these around this time of night (at stupid o'clock) so every time I remember to do this, the computer is off and I'm in bed. So, I'm sorry about that! But here I am now!

What have I got up to?

Well- on Monday, I did a lot of errands, did about 2 hours of walking or something. In the evening I helped Julie set up the room for SW on Tuesday (well-she was nearly done when I got there- I kept her company more than anything.) I got used to the "festiveness" of the room (bah humbug!)

Tuesday was, of course, weigh day. It was pretty activity filled. In the morning I watched Jeremy Kyle (my guilty pleasure!) while making christmas gifts for friends (my cost effective way of gifting people!). I went to the 1pm group to wait for my friend and after the group I went to hers for a bit. I finished off the presents while I was there (4 of them) and got them packed up to send. All 4 were international packages (But I'm not saying who- it's a surprise!) I then walked to my group (after posting the packages) and got weighed.

I lost 2.5lb! I was ecstatic, because that 2.5lb made it a stone in a month- something I hadn't done yet! So I was over the moon. I got Slimmer of the Month too. 

This week, too, I had a job interview! Yep! I applied for a position at Asda and the group interviews were yesterday (Friday). It was mad-there were 9 of us. We had to split into groups of 2 and make a tower out of marshmallows and spaghetti. It was so fun! There was a 1 to 1 interview too, and forms to fill in. I think I did ok. I will apparently hear back about that next week. It's only temporary, but it's some money I can put in the bank!

Work has been a little frustrating. We're being told that basically we're not doing our job properly. Which we are. All I want to say about that is that I'm trying to gain acceptance that my boss and I are not going to see eye to eye. I love the job- apart from the 10 minutes before my shift on a Friday. I shouldn't let 10 minutes ruin my 10 hours a week! I'll get there. I just need to be patient.

Anyhoo- this week I am focussed. I want to lose 2.5lb again- to get my 6 stone award! I don't know if I'll make it, but I have been good, going to do some more walking tomorrow and monday to hopefully shed a bit more. Here's hoping!!!

I hope you lot haven't missed me too much! Once I get used to my new routine, I should find it easier to update this. I know- I be bad!

Now- time for bed. I don't want to be going to bed any later and then end up sleeping in til stupid o'clock again! I actually like daytime! More sunlight and energy!

Until next time....

Much Love,
Tanya x

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Slinky Flutterby!

Today has been rather eventful!

This afternoon, I went shopping with my mum, it was double discount day at Asda, so she was buying Christmas presents for us. One of my presents was a new coat. I was a little disappointed because they didn't have any of the coats I wanted in a size 18 and when I tried on the size 16, when it zipped up, i just looked like a fat size 20 it was! But that's ok- really, next winter I plan on being no bigger than a size I'd need a new coat then! At least this coat has a hood! I look like a little eskimo, I love it!

Anyhoo- so weigh in day! I have been so so so so good all week- 35 syns in the whole week, lots of body magic, eating lots of superfree food, etc etc.

My hard work DID pay off! 4lb loss! I only needed 2lb for my 5 1/2 stone award and 2 1/2 lb to get into the 16 stone's. So I now weigh 16 stone 12lb, which, in the words of my consultant, is absolutely fab!

I also, which I wasn't expecting, won the Miss Slinky award for our group! Miss Slinky is a weird award. It's a little like Woman of the Year, but there is no minimum weight loss requirements for districts. Apparently it's someone who now "slinks" (whatever that means) into group and would look great in a "little black dress". Now, I guess I'm more confident- but I was expecting someone else to win, so I was absolutely shocked!

Anyway- when I won Woman of the Year- a friend of mine who I spoke to on a forum asked me why I didn't have my picture taken with my sash on. I said I wanted to and I wanted my picture taken with Julie, but was too scared to ask. I hate hate asking for things, just because I am terrified of people to laugh at me and go "yeah, right, do one!" So I didn't ask her. I was a bit gutted, because getting WotY was a huge deal- I had only been with Slimming World for 4 months and I felt really privileged to win. 

Well, tonight, I just went and asked Julie, which surprised me to be honest, I thought I was just going to chicken out. I was overjoyed when she said yes! Bless, she's like me- hates having her picture taken so I was really glad that she agreed. It really  made my day!

I didn't win slimmer of the week- someone (don't know who, they didn't stay) lost 4.5lb- booooo! heehee. But- I have lost 11 1/2lb so far this month. I am 2 1/2 lb away from losing a stone in a month for the first time. I really hope I manage it- again I'm going to work hard. But it's going to be a little tougher this week.

Because I got into the 16's- it meant I could have a treat- so I had pizza! It was fabulous! I'd been obsessing over this pizza for about 2 weeks, so it really tasted fabulous. Totally worth the wait. It tasted nicer because I earned every mouthful!

The only thing planned that is reasonably high in syns is my trip to Spavens in Mold on Thursday (it's a sweet shop- where you can have pancake and ice cream (12 syns) ) for a friend's birthday. The rest of the week I intend on being extremely good! Losing a stone in a month would be absolutely awesome!

Also- On the Slimming World website, it has a graph where you plot your weight losses (or gains) and it gives you a predicted weight loss line- so gives you a predicted target weight date. Last week, my target date was 15th May (which really sucked because of the bet with my Dad that I can reach my target by my birthday (4th May) ) But after this weeks weigh in, my predicted date is 17th April!! I have no clue how they predict it, but I hope they're right. My weight loss average is ever so slightly higher than the average I need to lose to get there, so hoping that I can manage it. £100 would definitely come in handy!

Another thing I do when I get into the next stone bracket is I have my picture taken. It's always in a cotton vest thingy and a pair of jeans. Kinda to see the change in me physically for every stone or so lost. So mum kindly took a picture (or 50) for me, I don't know why, but I can never get my facial expressions right in pictures. But I got one half decent picture which is good! No more "unflattering" pictures (as I call them) for another 12.5lb at least! 

So, it's been a good day, I enjoyed my treat, I'm just hoping that it doesn't hinder my weight loss too much- it shouldn't, I should be fine. Looking forward to a new week (I'm hoping it goes quicker than last week though, how it dragged last week!)

I'm going to do more walking and more Wii Fit hopefully. I'm hoping to get Slimmer of the Month next week too- to get the 5th one (there are 5 magnets in the set!) So here's hoping!

I'm planning on updating here a couple of times in the week, betcha glad of that- I know you've missed me!

Here's to a positive week! (hopefully!)

Much love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Being Inspirational

I have spoken to a couple of people over the last week or so and they have told me that they are interested in Slimming World because they can see it works, because of the amount of weight that I've lost. There have been other people too, since I started. 3 people have joined up as a referral of mine, one of which has gotten to her target weight and is working on maintaining.

I don't usually think of myself as an inspirational person. It's something that I did hope to become. I didn't start this journey just because I wanted to lose weight- part of it was, that if I could lose weight and get to a healthy weight, then other people who are in the same boat as me can see that it does work and that they can possibly do it too!

When people tell me that I have inspired them, it makes me feel great. I like the fact that I am giving someone a bit of hope, that they too can be the weight that they want to be. I also love to tell anyone and everyone about Slimming World, about how I overcame my addiction to food (which, really in fairness, was what I had) to start shifting the pounds. I like telling people what I was like before I joined up, how I was constantly depressed, too scared and paranoid to go out of the house and always worrying about what people thought about me. 

I know that I still have a long way to go, both physically and mentally. I'm nowhere near finished. But, if I can see the change, then it must be huge- since we are always the last to see changes in ourselves.

There are still a lot of hurdles to face. One is comments that certain members of my family (thankfully I don't see them often) make, little digs about my size or about my failures in life. I can see now, that I must focus on the family members that do matter and who are there to support me. Actually, those people who do like to spread the negativity, it says more about how sad their lives are to have to bring me down. I feel sorry for them. 

Even with my bad days, I am looking forward to a happier, healthier life. I was talking to someone today about my studies ending and she said that it must have been that at this time, I'm meant to focus on my weight loss. Studying will come later, I have a lot to learn before that time comes. I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and I was meant to leave university, it gives me time to focus on my weight loss and it also gives me time to look for work and gain work experience with my part time job, without worrying about spreading myself too thin.

So I'm feeling really happy today- that I am being inspirational to a few people- that makes me feel amazing. Slimming World is a huge part of my life right now, because of how much I'm focusing on shifting the stones and adopting a healthier lifestyle. I would love to be a consultant one day, after I've learnt how to drive, bought a car and have a stable job so I can support myself (as well as having the money to pay for the training etc). It's a long long long term goal- and all I need to do is put one foot in front of the other and make positive changes to work towards that goal.

It's that simple!

So to you lot reading this- if I inspire you, I'm glad, really I am. If I don't....well sod ya, but I appreciate you reading my blog anyways! heehee

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Wait....That's Not Pepper!!

So I was making dinner before- one of Tanya's random "stick it in a pan and heat it up" pasta dishes. I boiled the pasta, threw in some chopped ham, a big spoon of Philly extra light and put in what I *thought* was a little tub of finely chopped peppers.

Well. When I got down to eating it, I realised that they might not have been peppers after all. Because the dish did have a bit (read- a LOT) of a kick to it. Yes, I put in 2 large, finely chopped chillis!  Nonetheless it was very tasty (I don't mind spicy food at all).

Ok so backtracking a bit, so I don't forget anything.

First things first- the remorse of the yoghurt stealer.

After ranting about the disappearance of one of my awesome yogs- I was woken up the following morning by my little brother (well- not little- he's 19 and taller than I am....but you know what I mean) who hands me a yoghurt and a card. He told me that he read my blog on his phone and went "uh oh". He toddled off to Asda (which is about 15-20 minutes walk each way) bought me a replacement yoghurt and a card. The card wasn't an ordinary card. It was a SYMPATHY card! On the front it says "In your time of sorrow".

Inside it says:

"To my dearest sister,

I hold my hands above my head, I am the yoghurt thief!
I present you with this card as a token of my remorse.
Upon reflection, I have seen the error of my ways.
I vow never to steal another Activia Snackpot Yoghurt for the rest of my days.
I can now see that it was a despicable thing to do and I understand if you no longer want me in your life.
The guilt & pain that I am feeling now will stay with me forever.
Though it cannot compare, as a pitiful sign of reconciliation, I have procured you a replacement PEACH Activia Snackpot Yoghurt.
Forever in your debt,
The worst brother in the land"

I haven't laughed so much in ages. I read this out to my mum when she got home from work and I was crying with laughter. I gotta hand it to him- he has a way with words. My life would definitely be boring without him!

So....what else have I been up to?

Well- after my naughty synnage- I needed to do a bit extra exercise to make up for it. So, I went for a nice walk into Liscard and back with a fellow slimmer, Kate. We had a bit of a break and then we walked along the prom to Morrisons (which is about 45 minutes each way). I was chuffed because I got my sausages (back on offer again!) and some reduced fat cheese.  So all in all- 2 hours of walking at a pretty decent pace.

Then it came to weigh day- Tuesday. I was bricking it, honest. I weighed myself on the Wii Fit (hey- I saw you rolling your eyes there! It's some kind of ritual I do the day of weigh in!) and it said that I had lost a whole pound! I wasn't particularly happy and I was dreading weighing in. 

Anyway- so I get there and I am the first to be weighed. The woman who normally weighs us was running a bit late, so Julie (my consultant) weighed me. I hopped on and....I lost 2lb! It was a nice surprise! It was a great group too. Julie read out the Woman of the Year finalists' stories, and one of them made me cry. It was really inspirational though. One woman- her start weight and height were exactly the same as mine. So I'm hoping that next year, I'll be able to make it that far!

I got a million recipe ideas for chicken at group too- so hoping to get my cook hat on!

When I got home, I had dinner and went on the Wii Fit. I managed an hour and a half. So on top of the walking I did during the day- that was 2 whole hours of exercise, again!!

Finally- today (nearly there- promise!)

I went to Formby to see a good friend of mine. We went for lunch and went on a nice walk.

Lunch was terrible.

The only thing I could have was the chilli. Usually I'm ok with that because I can have some nice rice and salad with it. Well- according to the menu the chilli was served with *pilau* rice (which is about 2 1/2 syns per 100g or something), tortilla chips and sour cream. So- I went to the bar and asked for a jacket spud instead of the rice and crisps and no sour cream. For the most part they did ok. Except for the blob of butter on my jacket spud!!! As soon as the plate hit the table I grabbed the potato and forked (totally a word) the butter off! I wasn't expecting butter on my potato. I was also disappointed because there wasn't a hint of salad anywhere!

Anyhoo- after that, we went for a walk around the nature reserve, then to the beach. lots of walking, hills and sandy bits. It was nice, albeit bloody freezing! We managed 2 hours of walking, which just flew by really. When I got home, I had the pasta and I walked to my dad's, stayed about an hour and walked home. Really it was just an excuse to get out and about a bit more! So 2 hours 40 minutes today! Woo!

I really want to lose 2.5lb this week. Why? Because it will give me, not only my 5 1/2 stone award, but a lovely smiley face sticker for my book (for getting under the next stone bracket). I've said, as soon as I get into the 16's, I'm going to get a pizza- and I've been craving pizza for days. So 5 more 100% days and I should be ok *fingers crossed*

So- did you all keep up? Well done! That's impressive. I know I keep saying this, but I really need to update more often- or I'll end up with essays like this!!

I'm feeling really determined and positive- I just hope it stays with me!

Anyway- I am off to my pit, all this typing has made me sleepy!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Forgive Me Bloggees For I have Synned!!

I was very naughty last night and I am pretty miffed about it.

I finished work and went to my Nan's birthday party. To say I was hungry was an understatement and there was NO food there I could eat to stay on plan.

The night dragged on- we left at about midnight, armed with half a chocolate cake for my brother and his boyfriend.

We got to the end of our road and Niall and my mum wanted to walk mum's best mate home, so I was lumbered with the cake. When I got in the house, I put the cake down and I had some icing on my finger....of course, I licked it off- which set off a mahoosive craving for I had a piece, and some extra icing. I was pretty miffed to say the least. I really wanted to do well this week and I think I've blown it.

Anyway- apart from being miffed, what's done is done. But I have been craving sugar all bloody day! So I've been white-knuckling it. 

I've been good today- had 5 syns (including milk in my tea) and I did an hour and a half on the wii fit, so hoping that it's damage limitation and I get a half decent loss at least!

Oh- the yoghurt thief (just so everyone knows- it was my little brother!!) made amends. I'll elaborate on that next time, it's a great story so stay tuned folks!!

Tomorrow is going to consist of job searching, clothes sorting and walking, hopefully! I have my breakfast sorted (magic porridge- which is 28g of porridge oats and a yoghurt, mixed up and left in the fridge overnight. I'm going to have fruit with it- yum!) so hope to stay focussed for Tuesday's weigh in!

Now, I am off to bed, to rest my sore leg (I think I've pulled a muscle- it really hurts!)

Much Love, 

Tanya x

Friday, 11 November 2011

Attack of the Yoghurt Stealer!

Oh I am miffed! Seriously- some mean, horrible person stole one of my yoghurts! Not just any yoghurt- one of my sodding activia snackpots!! More specifically- my awesome "totally worth half a syn" peach activia snackpot! Dammit- we only got them today! I only got 2 of each flavour and I was going to make them LAST. 10 in a week in not much, trust me. My yoghurts are there to stop me binging on sweet stuff- they are my life line.

AND I AM DOWN TO 8! I had one and I was working on rationing the other 9 to make sure they lasted a whole week!

Yes- I am rather mad, and a little bit upset. I know they're only yoghurts- but it's not like I can eat lots of chocolate or biscuits or cakes. Fat free yoghurts are my happy sweet treat!!!

It doesn't help that I'm already in a foul mood. The weather is rubbish, I'm grumpy, cold and frustrated. And now lacking yoghurts.

8 yoghurts in 7 days....not good, not good at all :(

I wish I actually had a happy, cheerful blog update, I really do. But because of the rubbish weather and the fact that I've been ignored by another company after an interview....I'm feeling a bit flat. A friend of mine lent me his S.A.D light box, I had every intention of using it today but just didn't get round to it- definitely tomorrow though! Hopefully that will lift my mood. Also, going for coffee with my friend, Chris, she usually gets me out of a funk.

Anyway- let's think a little bit more positive shall we? What else have I been up to?

I had a lovely time on Thursday. Lunch with my friend was awesome. I love spending time with her. She's one of those people who naturally cheers people up (well, she does with me anyway!) The food was amusing. I ordered chilli and rice. I thought, as it always does in other places, it came with a side salad. When it turned up- it was the biggest bowl of chilli and rice I had ever seen in my LIFE! But no side salad! So I asked the guy (because I wanted to be good and have my superfree foods) if I could have some salad. He goes away. Just before he game back I said "oh poo- I forgot to ask for no dressing". Sure enough- the salad arrived (again- a HUGE portion!) with a vinaigrette dressing. It was really tasty though, so I decided to eat it, enjoy it and syn it (it worked out at about 7 syns) I counted the chilli as free- because usually I can tell if it's greasy and full of fat and oil- it tasted just how I make it- so thought it would be ok.

I then went on a long walk- around town, checked out the new Asda which opened up last week (it was rubbish!) and then wandered over to the park and had a nice stroll around there, before getting the bus home. It was about an hour (just over) of exercise.

Later on, I walked to dad's, stayed there for a bit before going to Julie's other SW group. It was a lovely group, really friendly people and just a nice feel to it. Mind, they have an awesome consultant- so that must help of course! Afterwards I helped Julie clear everything up and she gave me a lift home (it was pretty cold out! So I was grateful)

Today, even with my grouchiness I managed to cook up a lovely meal- turkey casserole (the recipe asked for chicken....but we had turkey.) So.....the recipe....By the way- I used our slow cooker, so if you don't have one, just use a regular pan and don't cook for as long!

1 huge turkey breast (or 2 small ones)
2 carrots 
1/2 small butternut squash
1 onion
1 clove garlic 
1 large potato
large handful of pearl barley (or lentils could work)
1 chicken stock pot
Soy sauce
Worcestershire sauce
Mixed herbs
Any other herbs you want to throw in
a few tbsp of instant potato mash powder (we used smartprice, just to try it out- apparently it's syn free...but I'm not 100% sure on that)

1) Brown the turkey with the herbs and finely chopped garlic.
2) Quickly boil the barley in a seperate pan and drain
3) Add the veggies and potatoes (after they've been diced of course!) 
4) Mix the stock pot with 1 pint of boiling wate, mix well and add to the slow cooker. Throw in the pearl barley.
5) Add more water to cover up the meat and veggies. add a splash of soy sauce and Worstershire sauce (or if you're anything like me- add lots of both!)
6) Simmer on a low heat for about 10 days (ok...not quite- but I had it on for about 6 hours on a very low heat- but that was only because I was in work for 5 of those hours!) 
7) if the sauce needs thickening, add a few tablespoons of the instant mash powder. I used 2 and it was still runny, so maybe use 3-4. 

I served mine with rocket salad (like i serve everything with!) cherry tomatoes and boiled rice!

I definitely recommend it, it's a lovely winter warmer recipe. A bit of a change to stew, but very similar.

Ok that's me for tonight. I actually feel better now I've typed this up. I'd better get my bum to bed! Coffee with Chris at lunchtime, then work and straight after work I'm going to my nan's 75th birthday party! It's all go!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Winter is Here!

I'm currently hiding under my blanket, sipping hot tea, trying to defrost. Boy is it ever cold!

Hi! I know, I keep doing this. But here is an update- that's something, right? Don't give me that look!

Weigh in was yesterday. I lost 2lb! To be honest, I was rather disappointed. I had been good and I'd exercised more. But I'm hoping for a good loss next Tuesday! I have 4lb to get my 5 1/2 stone award and 4 1/2 lb to get into the 16's (which is!) 

I've upped my exercise. Yesterday I did 2 hours 10 minutes (50 minutes walking and 1 hour 20 minutes on the wii fit). Today I did an hour of wii fit. I was going to do more but I was so cold and feeling a bit zapped of energy I decided to call it a day. But an hour is still good. 

I'm hoping that santa gets me Just Dance 3 for christmas. I really like JD2, but it's getting a touch boring. JD1 would be sweet too, just for the change.

I made an egg custard today....not sure if I've done the recipe on here before but will put it up (alas- no picture though!)

2 large eggs
1/2 pint semi skimmed milk
1 tbsp sweetener
sprinkling of cinnamon

1) Heat the milk up in a pan until nearly boiling
2) Beat the eggs in a bowl and stir in the milk. Add the sweetener and mix well.
3) Pour into an ovenproof dish and spinkle the cinnamon on top.
4) Half-fill a deep baking tray with water.put in the dish (make sure the water is low enough not to spill into the mixture)
5) Place in the oven, on gas mark 3 for 20-30 minutes.
6) leave to cool and then put in the fridge to chill for 2 hours.

This serves 2. I'm actually going to let my mum have some! heehee.

For dinner I had something nice and easy. I had the last of my chicken spears from Iceland (2 tikka and 2 korma) with beef savoury rice (and soy sauce) and mixed veggies. I forget sometimes that I can make quick and easy meals. Not all SW meals have you slaving over a hot stove for hours! I do, though, need to find some replacement chicken pieces. There were loads of different ones over the summer, about 2-3 really nice ones. But they have all gone off the shelves because they were only the "bbq range" ones. So yes- I'm on the hunt for some syn free "bung in the oven" chicken pieces.

Tomorrow, I'm going to my consultant's other SW group. Just for a visit- I'm not getting weighed again or anything. She just mentioned that I could go visit. It only started last week and apparently it has a nice feel to it. So I'm going to mosey on down there. It's just round the corner from my dad's so I'll visit him beforehand. 

I'm having lunch with a friend too tomorrow, a very social day planned! Of course, I have no intention of going over my syns! 

Righty, I'd better get ready for bed! Hope that it warms up a bit tomorrow!!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 5 November 2011


That's all I seem to be suffering from lately. No matter how much I sleep, I am exhausted. But- I am pushing to keep moving forward. 

I've had a fab couple of evenings in work. On Friday, the girl I usually work with had some time off, and I worked with the shop owner's husband- a cheery, dancy Jamaican dude. I had a great time- he was fantastic company and we did a lot of boogying to the music!

Tonight was good too, even though I got exhausted at around 8.30, and just crashed. But we made it out for just after 10pm and I walked home and put my feet up.

I went to visit my friend, Chris, today. She lives about half an hour walk away, so I walked there and because I was running late, I got the bus most of the way home (walked the last 10 minutes) It was nice to have a catch up with her and to harass her cats (she's got about 23 or something....but I might be slightly over exaggerating there) She bought me a lovely kitty mug and let me have her copy of this months SW magazine (which I couldn't afford to get myself *sigh*)

Anyway- I have been good this week.the first couple of days I indulged a bit. Not going over my syns, but I went to double digits, which is a lot for me, but I'm pulling it back. Still got 2 whole days and most of Tuesday to get the result I want. I've got 6.5lb to get under 17 stone. I would absolutely LOVE to get that off in the next 2 weeks, but I know that would be immensely difficult- so I'll be content with 3 weeks. Of course- the sooner I get it off the better...So I'm really hoping to be well on my way to the 16's by Tuesday!

I set myself an exercise target for this month. I started doing exercise challenges in July. Basically, it's something that's been around on a forum I go on. You set yourself a challenge to do X amount of hours of exercise in the month. Then, when you have done some exercise, just update, stating how much you have to go.

In July, I set myself a target of 12 hours. I had only just started to get active, so 3 hours a week seemed reasonable. I managed the last 15 minutes on 31st July, with about 5 hours to spare! I have built up my exercise levels over the last 4 or so months. 

This months challenge- 30 hours! The highest I've ever set myself. Last month was 25 hours and I think I managed about 26 1/2, so met my target with a bit to spare. 30 hours is an hour a day, so it's a big challenge. But, it's the 5th and I've managed 4 hours 45 minutes so far- so nearly on target.

Fridays and Saturdays are hard to exercise- when I get in from work my feet are so sore I can barely walk, so getting the Wii fit on is more or less impossible. So I try to make up for it Sunday-Thursday. I am going out for the day tomorrow, but when I get back I hope to have enough energy to do a little bit on the Wii fit!

No new recipes yet, but I really want to make a new soup next week- so will have a look at online recipes and see what I can come up with.

Right, I'd better get my bum to bed! I really am exhausted. Actually, I am that tired that this blog probably makes no sense. Oh well, I thought I'd update anyways!

Hopefully the next one will be easier to understand, heehee.

Much Love,
Tanya x

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

I be bad!!!

Sorry, sorry, sorry! I am very naughty. I can't believe it's been a week since my last blog entry! *slaps wrist*

Thanks to my lovely little brother who threatened me to write, otherwise I would have forgotten again.

So- in a nutshell- my week!

I had afternoon tea with a group of girly friends on Thursday. It was to celebrate a good friend's birthday, but I was treating myself for getting under the next stone bracket (I have a treat each time- this was it). Now, don't try this at home, any of you slimming world folks, but I don't count syns when I have this treat. I just behave for the rest of the week! So I did over indulge just a touch- sammiches, a cupcake, a BIG slice of sponge cake and a cup of tea....and a piece of treacle toffee (I was given 4 pieces, I gave the other 3 to my mum).

For the rest of the week I was pretty good. I did a good few hours of exercise, even with my sore feets (which are not getting any better!!) I did go see my doctor about the foot pain and she's prescribed me stronger painkillers. I havent handed the script in yet- I will do that tomorrow.

Work has been a little bit frustrating. The till is messed up- seriously. First it says that the till is over, then it says it's under....and we are getting it in the neck from the manager. Of course, not sure if it's paranoia or if she really thinks it, but I think the manager is blaming me. Of course, if the till has only just started spouting out numbers like it has been doing, and I've only been there a month....I just hope that she isn't thinking that I'm dipping my hand in the till. I would never do such a thing (maybe a few years ago- but I have a conscience now- I wouldn't be able to cope with the guilt!) Just crossing my fingers it gets sorted- because I don't want to get the sack because of mistakes I didn't make, or being accused of something I didn't do....

Anyway- looking forward to a good week- it was weigh day today.

I went to the 1pm group to meet up with my friend Chris, she goes to that one. But I got weighed at 5pm. 

I lost 3.5lb this week! I got my 5 stone award (5 stone 1lb lost!) and Slimmer of the Week! I was pretty chuffed to say the least. I'm past the half way mark- and all in 6 1/2 months! So hopefully I *will* get to target by my birthday.

I was talking to my friend Marg yesterday (my friend in Canada). I told her that if I win the national finals of Woman of the Year  next year, I'm spending Christmas with her and her family, whether she likes it or not! The first prize is £5000, so I would be on the first flight over there! It would be nice to visit again- but next time I'm there I want to feel comfortable having my picture taken, unlike last year!

Anyway- since it's been so long....I *do* actually have a recipe! Diet coke chicken! I know- sounds weird- it's taken me 6 months to pluck up the courage to make it- and actually I loved it! It's a bit like sweet and sour meets sticky chicken- very yummy!!

serves 2
2 large chicken breasts, diced
1 large onion, diced
6 tablespoons passatta
330ml diet coke (or pepsi max- which is what I used)
splash of worstershire sauce

Brown the chicken and onions using a few sprays of frylight.

Add the passatta, diet coke and worstershire sauce. Simmer for 10-15 minutes. Keep watching and stirring every few minutes because after a little while it starts to thicken quite rapidly. Don't put a lid on the pan while simmering- the sauce won't thicken if you do.

I served mine with sw chips, rice and salad.

So that's me for tonight. Definitely need to get my bum into gear and update this more often- since people do actually read this (thank you by the way- it's nice to know people listen to me sometimes!)

Much Love,
Tanya x

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Exercise Buzz

I haz it!

I am typing this between exercises (yeah- it's nearly 1am, so what?). I've just done an hour of wii fit. I also did 20 minutes of walking (to SW and back) and hoping, after I've typed this) to be able to do another half hour (or so) of dancing!

I managed an hour of dancing the night before last- my record before that was 45 minutes-so I was over the moon! I know that with exercise you have to build it up- and I have gone from about 10 minutes of exercise to over an hour on some days!

So- weigh in. Yes...well. I lost 2.5lb! I now have 2.5lb to my five stone award!! That's the half way mark! I did, however, miss out on sotw and sotm by HALF A POUND!!!. argh- uber frustration! But- I was surprisingly accepting and am more determined to get that sotm magnet next month! I can't believe how close it is to Christmas!! I hope that I can be a comfortable 18 to a tight 16 by's doable I think. We shall see! I would love to lose another 16 1/2lb by then (that would take me to 6 stone lost) by 20th December. 

I've been a bit icky today. I was rather ill this morning- but I seem to have perked up- not feeling as dizzy and nauseous- which is always a good thing.

Oh- I helped out at group today. I scanned peoples' cards in and took the payments. I know it sounds daft but I really felt chuffed doing it. It was like I really felt useful. I hope I can do it again one day- it was only to cover someone else, but I do like helping out!

Anyway- I had braising steak (with onion and gravy) and veggies for dinner. Nothing major but boy was it tasty! I do need to find new recipes and post them on here- diet coke chicken at some point! and maybe a nice soup if I can persuade mum to try one!

We shall see!

Anyway- I have a hard week ahead. Usually I would be fine, but I am going for afternoon tea on Thursday with some friends- and there is no way that's going to be syn free!! But as long as I work hard for the rest of the week I'll be fine!

Positive attitude- I want to keep it that way!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Chuffed to bits!

I have impressed myself today. Today was definitely one of those days where I can pat myself on the back (ha- I couldn't do that at my heaviest because I couldnt get my arm far back enough without being in pain!)

At work today- I managed to (nearly all by myself) shut up the shop) I can now check the lottery and scratchcard summaries, count the scratchcards, check all winnings, check credit card receipts, paypoint money and the float. and the readings at the end of the night. Also (more of an achievement for me) I am learning where the ciggies are- because standing like an idiot because I can't find the ciggies the customer wants is not fun at all. Same with the booze. I also now know that "a bottle of X" means a 70cl bottle of spirits. There was me thinking it was a litre bottle!

The other "oh I am so chuffed with myself" thing was a couple of ladies came into the shop, from a local beauty salon (or something). They were having a party and had lots of food left over- so they gave us a tray of egg mayonnaise butties- white bread, lots of butter and I was betting it was full fat mayo. I worked out that for a quarter sandwich it would be about 8 syns- and that wouldn't even be EGGagerating (sorry!) But even with Abby (the girl I work with) saying "oh go on- just have one" and making "mmmmmm" noises at me (meanie!) I resisted and didn't have a bite!

I did, however, make an egg mayo sarnie when I got home. 1 big piece of bread, 2 boiled eggs and just under a tablespoon of mayo (and black pepper) That was half a syn for a HALF sandwich. better than the 16 syns that I potentially could have had (no thanks!) I also had a lovely bowl of my mum's stew- which is by far the best stew on the planet.

Some people think that a little bit of picking won't do any harm. But Julie, my Slimming World Consultant, read out a story of a woman called "Mrs Good"....or something along those lines. Basically a jokey story about a woman who picks through the day (like the crusts after she's made her kids lunches, or a bit of extra cereal for breakfast...) She thinks she's had 10 syns in the day (which is good- it's recommended we have 5-15 a day) but it turned out she had over 120! Which is more than we should have in a week!Of course, it's an extreme- but it made me think about when I used to pick at stuff, even when I was on SW (albeit just as I started) and not syn them. 

I use my syns for things I'm going to enjoy. Julie describes them as "pocket money"- you get so much a week to spend on whatever food you want. You could possibly save some extra for the weekend for a cheeky drink or a bit of chocolate, or you can have a good amount every day. Me? I go with daily syns. If I were to go out for a curry for example, I would have a few less syns, maybe stick to 5 a day, and have a few extra just in case I needed them.. But I don't go without.

I have lost 65lb so far- and I am taking my weight loss seriously. I want to get to target- and I know the nearer I get to my target weight, the harder it is going to get. I need to keep vigilant. No snacking on stuff that's high syns- because those snacks will show on the scales on the Tuesday. 

Of course, I struggle. I have days where all I want is to pig out on 10 packets of crisps and a massive cake. But, I know that I will feel SO guilty afterwards, that I will feel physically sick. I have in the past- at least now I know this before I pick up that cream cake! Beforehand- the voice that said "I wouldn't do that if I were you" was really meek and quiet. The loud booming voice of "You know that will make you feel better. And look how yummy it looks!!" always stood out. Now, the roles are reversed. Sometimes the evil voice will get a bit louder-sometimes cravings for food is unbearable. At those moments I close my eyes and say (outloud) "No- I don't want it- this too shall pass" and find something to distract myself. 

It gets easier, even with the tough days. The further I go, the stronger, mentally, I am becoming (I think). I don't NEED food to feel better. I have amazing friends and a supportive family. I have the worlds best SW consultant who I know is at the end of the phone if I need her. I have more of a positive self image. I am starting to look in mirrors and not freak out. I am a work in progress, learning to love myself, and to have a 100% healthy relationship with food is not something that is going to happen overnight. I have only been on this journey for 6 months. I have a lot of emotional growth (and physical shrinkage!) to go. 

This blog, and my support network of friends and family are helping me with this.

Feeling positive, energised (ok and a little tired but it is 3am)

On that note, I am going to bed. Tomorrow is a new day- and I hope to keep strong and move forward on my journey to a healthy body and mind!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Yay for awards!

I got another one! actually- I got 2!

I lose *drum roll*

3lb! Yep lil me, in one week, lost 3lb- and there was me feeling all negative! Well- I did work hard- and I earned every pound. That meant that I got my 4 1/2 stone award- and it put me under the next stone bracket (17 stone 12lb) and I got a smiley face sticker.

I got joint slimmer of the week too- which I was not expecting! I was over the moon. 

My mum's friend joined up this week- which I'm grateful for- because for the last 3 weeks there has been a "bring a friend" promotion. Basically- in that time, if you take a friend with you, you get a free week. So for me, it gets added to the end of my countdown. I think that takes me to New Year now! I'm all sorted until 2012! Wow- scary stuff!

Today (Wednesday 19th) is exactly 6 months since I started Slimming World. I don't know if it's gone quick or slow. It's one of those- it feels like it was only a few weeks ago that I joined up- but I feel like I've been there forever!

I have had a few pictures taken lately- and I found some "before" pictures...One I am not ready to show people quite yet- but one I don't mind at all- I think it's mad, the change in such a short time. The before picture was taken when I was in Canada in summer 2010. I may have but on more weight before starting Slimming World but I honestly don't know. I've forgotten about my weight then. All that matters is my SW start weight- 22 stone 7lb. The "after" picture (it's really "during" since I've not finished but you know what I mean!) was taken today-by my lovely mum. 

Today was a really good day! My mum's friend (the one who joined SW) texted me to tell me about some job adverts going up on the job centre website. I gave her a call and she gave me the codes and a phone number to call. The jobs are in a new restaurant opening in December. The jobs are the likes of  bar staff, waitressing, kitchen porter, etc. So I called the number and requested an appointment for the open day. So next Wednesday, at 4pm, I shall be hopefully impressing the people there with my awesomeness! My little bro (hey Niall!) has an appointment at the same time (that I made for him- being such an awesome sister!) I think it would be really cool if we could work together- definitely would be awesome.

Anyhoo- after that, I went into Liscard, to put in my Mum's prescription. While I was waiting, I decided to go into New Look. The shop in Liscard only does "normal sizes". a.k.a- they don't have the "Inspire" section (which is the size 16-28 section..or something). The normal shop stocks sizes 8-18 (there's a bit of an overlap).Anyway-  I noticed that all jeans were 25% off, so definitely thought it was good to have a look. They had one pair of size 18 bootcut jeans (I'm not quite at the stage where I feel comfortable in "skinny jeans") so I decided to try them on. WELL. They are very tight- but I can button AND zip them up! yahoo! So I decided to buy them. They were normally £10 but the discount made them nice and cheap. I made a passing comment about student discount- I just said something like "I'm guessing the 10% discount doesn't apply now?" The girl checked and indeed it did count! Thank goodness I still have my old uni card! It's still in date- might as well use it, right? So my jeans cost £6.74- happy days!

I took a picture of my new jeans on my old pair of jeans and the difference is just immense. I can't believe how big my old jeans are! And they used to be tight on my legs and bum! Madness! I hope I can fit in one leg of my old pants one day!

Anyway- then I got the bus to New Brighton- I was just going to head to Morrisons to get my sausages- but decided to get off the bus at my dads to check his post- and to see if there was anything for me. I popped in to see his neighbour, Sylvia. She's an awesome woman- she's 83 but is so energetic and full of life. I love spending time with her, chatting about what the area was like during the war. I enjoyed a lovely cuppa with her and wandered down the hill to Morrisons. Got the last 2 packs of skinny lizzie sausages and a fat free Onken yoghurt (which I never had before and I just adore). So at least I have enough sausages for a few days....

So- that is my day- it's been busy- I hope you kept up with all that!

I do need to update this more because when I don't I tend to have a lot to say and I don't want to bore everyone with a looooooooooong blog! So I shall make time for more blogging- promise!

Right I'd better go wind down- it's been quite a day!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Lazy bones!

That's what I am! How rude of me to not update for so long- I need to get back into it and stop being so lazy and easily distra- OH!! BUTTERFLY!!!! *chase*

Where was I?

So- things have been a bit mad these last few days. I closed my claim for benefits on friday afternoon *yay*.Then go into work to be told that my hours have been cut from 10 to 8 hours a week. I was really gutted about that. 8 hours at minimum wage is LESS than I would be on if I was claiming, I have to go into work tomorrow and *hope* that my boss is in, and have a chat. If she can't give me more hours then I will have to put another claim in for benefits. The thing is, it's been a month (exactly) since I started the last claim- and I haven't even been paid for that! So money woes are still around.

But- I did pay for a lottery ticket on saturday and won a tenner....first time in about 18 months that I actually did do the lottery- so rather spooky! But an extra £10 is good!

I'm nervous about tuesday's weigh in, as usual. I have been really good, and active, so hoping that the scales show that! 

I'm going to do some wii fit for half an hour, some boxing to focus on getting rid of my bingo wings! Maybe something to work on my stomach too- since I have a big tummy still! I mean, I'm still big everywhere, but I *hate* my tummy. Everyone has hang ups, I have about 3-4. My tummy and bingo wings being 2!

I've not cooked anything new for AGES. I will be checking out my recipe books tomorrow to find a new recipe to try and maybe walk to Morrisons (about 3km away) to get the stuff I need. Good exercise and food, good times!

Watch this space!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Ow Ow Ow

Ouchies! My feet are so sore today! I think the fact that I walked for nearly 3 hours today might have something to do with it! 

I wandered over to New Brighton with a Slimming World mate and back again- and boy am I paying for it! But I do feel good for doing all that exercise!

I was a little naughty today though....I did have a few too many meringue shells! But I didn't go over my syns so it's all good!

One positive today- my jeans are getting baggy! Oh yes! Hopefully soon I'll be able to wear some size 18 clothes! That's nearly normal sizes (some shops actually sell that in the "normal" range- awesome!) I might not be able to physically see the change- but the fact that my clothes are getting loose is a pretty good indication I think! 

Ugg- I did a major technical boo boo before. I was checking out the comments on here- and somehow managed to delete a comment without even reading it first! I don't even know how I did it- but it went *poof* into the interweb dustbin. So whoever it was- I'm really sorry- it wasn't deliberate! I'm just really bad with technology it seems!

Ok I have a bit of a headache forming- so I'm going to rehydrate myself and head to bed. Job centre tomorrow (joy!) and have work tomorrow evening- so need to be 100% by then!

Night night
Much Love,
Tanya x

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Disappointed, Yet Determined

So weigh in was tonight. Even though I have been really good all week- I only lost 1.5lb. I was gutted! I wanted to lose 3lb to get under 18 stone- so only achieving half of that was really disappointing.

There are 2 new people (they're a couple), Today was their second weigh in. The guy of the group has lost 11.5lb in TWO WEEKS. Now, for slimmer of the month- if your first weigh in is in that month, then it's halved. Even with that, this guy is at about 8lb loss for the month so far. Me? 5lb! That's great, It's a good loss....BUT. I really wanted to get the award this month, because, not only would it be 5 in a row- but 5 in total- and there are 5 fridge magnets for SOTM, so wanted to get all 5....but next month I would want it too- getting half a year as slimmer of the month....

I know I'm too competitive for my own good sometimes- but that's what spurs me on! Also, I want to make people proud of my achievements (I struggle to do things for myself- but for other people I can keep pushing myself and actually do well...I know, I'm weird)

But, no. I'm really chuffed for him, honest. It's proof that Slimming World does work and more people joining up means more recipe ideas,  It's hard to explain why I like the little trinkets and just seems to make things worthwhile. I don't see the fact that I've lost 4 1/2 stone (nearly). I can't seem to be chuffed with myself for it...It's nice to see things as proof of my achievement, since I can't see the weight loss myself...if that makes sense.

I am thinking forward. I would love to get to the Woman of the Year finals. Why? Because my consultant is AWESOME. She says she got to semi finals with one lady once. She deserves to have someone to get to the final- I'm serious. So I want to get into double figures by next August, to have more of a chance. I know that Woman of the Year is not all about the greatest's about who inspires others, amongst other things. But I would definitely love to be in that final next year!

So I need to work hard. Less eating really late (saying that I'm going to have a cereal bar after I've typed this- with a cup of tea) and more exercise. I'm also hoping to get my bum into gear when it comes to my sleeping. I need to be up at a decent hour and in bed before stupid o'clock. So that's my homework for this next week or so.

I have a deal with my dad (we shook on it and everything) If i get to target by my birthday (5 stone 8lb to go by May 4th) he will give me £100. Which I will put in a fund for whenever I can get back over to Canada to see my friends. Even if it's in 5 years- it's money for that. So another bit of an incentive! Dad reminded me that he and Mum agreed to give me money- £1 for each lb I lose....I personally think they should do that (Dad said it was each- so I would be £124 up!) But I doubt they will, heehee.

So I am feeling motivated- and determined for a BIG loss next week. I am going to stick to plan rigidly. I have also set myself a challenge to have one bowl of superspeed soup every day (be it for lunch, a snack or part of dinner) hopefully that will speed up my weight loss!

When I was walking home from my dad's just before- I noticed that a local pub is looking for bar staff. So tomorrow, I will be updating my CV and walking over to hand it in. Hopefully they will have hours that aren't friday and saturday nights- the extra money is kinda needed! So fingers crossed!

Ok- time to get that cup of tea!
I'll try and update more often than every other day- time seems to be disappearing for me at the moment!

Much Love, 
Tanya x

Sunday, 9 October 2011

A day of ups and downs

I hate the change in the weather. When it gets cold and dark, I get miserable and unmotivated. I'm sure a lot of people are the same as me. Sometimes it's hard to just keep that motivation going.

But today- I managed a 4 1/2 mile walk! It took an hour and a half, because I had to have a couple of sit downs, but it was some good exercise! I was going to do some dancing just before- but I have really hurt my back, so thought it best to give it a bit of a rest.

Yesterday I weighed myself on the wii fit- ok not something that is recommended- but I do it on occasion anyway. It said that I had put on 2lb- since THURSDAY! I was devastated. I don't know where I went wrong. So I am working hard to get those pounds off and get a nice loss on Tuesday. It might have been because I ate a lot, really late on the Friday- all free food, but still very heavy and very late. I'm hoping that the random weight will disappear! But a bit more exercise and watching what I eat should help! Maybe some superspeed soup for one or 2 meals too!

Anyhoo- what else has happened?

Well- one of my best friends, who lives in Canada, recently became a grandma for the first time. I decided, when I was first told that her daughter was pregnant, to knit a blanket for the little fella. I never knitted before, so I had to learn pretty fast. Anyway- it took 7 months, and it got there about 3 weeks ago. Well, today, my friend's daughter got to see it for the first time- we chatted on skype (only for about 2 minutes) but I wanted to feel that I was there, and this seemed like the only way. 

She said she really liked it, and she took a picture of Alex asleep under the blanket. He is totally adorable- and I'm really chuffed that the blanket is still in one piece!! 

So- not much else has gone on- life is quite boring! Just trying to keep going and keep motivated while the weather is like this! I think that if I get a good loss next week it will keep me motivated- so fingers crossed!

Much Love,
Tanya x

Friday, 7 October 2011

I haz monies!

Sorry about the lack of post yesterday- I was out with friends in Liverpool until about midnight, and just got distracted with one thing and another- I was too tired in the end and went to bed. 

Today has been a bit mad too- even though I realised I haven't done that much (isn't that always the case?)

Anyway- yes- I have money! Not much....just my first pay slip from work- that's £59.30 of hard-earned money! It might not be much,  but because I worked for every penny of it-I am so chuffed with myself! I learned how to do more stuff today- refunds on the different machines, cashing up, etc. I really like the girl I'm working with- she's easing me in gently, as it were. It's really helpful.The last thing I want is to have some kind of breakdown because there is too much to do. She's supportive- if I need the help, she's there. 

My feet didn't hurt as much at work, but they were still pretty painful. When I got home and swapped my trainers for slippers, I was in so much pain then, that it took me over a minute to get from where I am sitting now, to the normally takes about 10 seconds. I must remember to take painkillers with me tomorrow!

So yes- last night.

I went to a lovely bar in Liverpool to meet up with some friends. There were some people I hadn't seen for a few months. I got a few comments about how lovely I looked- that I was pretty and that it is now really noticeable that I've lost weight! One of my friends said that I look pretty too, because I smile more. Yes, I do feel a lot more confident and a lot happier now that I'm lighter and thinner....and I really hope that this good feeling just gets better as time goes on!

I'm still looking for another little job. Right now the £60 a week isn't enough to keep me stable. So hopefully I'll find another part time job through the week. It's just a pain that everything is advertised on the job centre website- and a million people see those adverts and apply. Because I'm not very qualified or experienced I don't get the job. It is very frustrating. Yes, financial insecurity is really getting me down. Not only do I want to get out of the red, but I want to pay my mum some money for food and bills. Also, I want to save up just in case I have the opportunity to visit Canada again in the next few years. I hate worrying about things. I know that right now I can't do anything about the fact that I have no money. I just need to accept the fact and move forward- take positive steps rather than to dwell on it. 

This too shall pass!

Right- time for bed for me- I need to rest my poor feet!

Night night
Much Love
Tanya x

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Late Night Blogging

I totally forgot to do this- so I am currently lying in bed, cuddling up to my laptop. Ok, it's 3am, but I will go to bed right after this!

I had my job interview today. It went ok I think. Hopefully they will like me enough to give me a second interview. I have never been to this place before (a sandwich shop in Liverpool) but it looks really up-market. I would love the chance to work there- I think it would be really valuable work experience.The pay isn't bad, and they give 4 weeks of holidays a year- which is awesome.

So fingers crossed for a phone call tomorrow!

I did some Just Dance 2 today. I realised that if I want a big loss next week, I am going to have to work for it. So, I danced. Just for half an hour- but it was all the hard levels, I was sweating buckets! But I felt great after. Hoping to do more tomorrow, with a bit of walking as well. 

I've not made anything new for the last few days- just normal, samey stuff (I did make pakoras again today- but they didn't turn out as good as the first lot, which is a shame). 

Anyhoo- Time for bed, me thinks! Hoping to stay motivated and positive- and hoping even more for a phone call for a second interview! *crosses fingers*

Much Love,

Tanya x