2011 in a nutshell

So, this is it guys- my last blog post of 2011! I can't believe how fast this year has gone, it doesn't seem long since I started my Slimming World journey, even though it was 8 1/2 months ago!


What has 2011 been like for me?


I've gotta be honest, this is one of the best years that I've had, in a long while. Not only am I 6 1/2 stone lighter than I was this time last year, but my confidence has been boosted and my quality of life is generally a lot better.


A year ago, I never thought I could get a job. I thought that I was a waste of space with no hope of achieving anything. Another failed attempt at university was looming and I was just feeling like a complete disappointment.


I knew that my family were ashamed of me. Wouldn't be seen out with me, because I looked so horrendous, wouldn't show people pictures of me because of how fat I was. Might not be the nicest thing in the world, but it was definitely a wake up call for me. The last thing I wanted was to make the people I loved ashamed of me. I had no job, my education was still on the edge of failure and my health (physical and mental) were going down the toilet.


It may have taken a while to eventually get the help I needed when it came to my weight. I had stopped attending lectures because other students were making fun of me. Making snide comments in earshot, making "oink" noises when I waddled past...I couldn't bear it anymore, so I gave up.


In April, after seeing a good friend of mine lose a decent amount of weight with SW, I decided (with some financial support from another friend) that I should give it a go. I know that some people close to me had the "I'll believe it when I see it" attitude- and rightly so- they had seen me try to lose weight many times and fail. 


It took me a while to get into the swing of things. I actually looked at the time it took to get my different awards. 2 weeks to get my 1/2 stone award. Then I had to wait another 5 weeks to get my 1 stone award. Every other 1/2 stone award has taken either 2-3 weeks to achieve, so I can safely say that it took a while to get used to SW. But with the support of the group, Julie, my close friends and some of my family members (my mum and Niall mainly) I started to lose the pounds pretty quickly.


With the weight loss comes a new found confidence. I could go out on my own more, without having panic attacks. The first time I went out and didn't freak out at all was after losing about 3 stone. Before that point I used to be extremely fearful, no matter how far out the house I went. I still get my moments now, I don't think that I'm going to get rid of the anxiety fully any time soon. But it's all about putting one foot in front of the other and coping with the anxieties when they appear. 


This new confidence I have has given me the ability to apply for jobs and to actually work for the first time in forever. Ok, I did have my voluntary job, but some days I just didn't turn up, because I panicked about going out, or I was achy or just not feeling well. The 2 jobs that I have now I have a 100% attendance rate. Might not sound like much to some of you, but to me that is a huge deal. I am more reliable than I ever was (even though my timekeeping still leaves a lot to be desired!!!). I enjoy my jobs. In fact, I am really sad about my last shift at Asda (which is this Sunday). Looking positively though- I am going to be kept on a seasonal contract- which means that I can go back at Easter, and any other busy times of the year. So it's not the end there! You never know- I might end up getting a permanent job there! (here's hoping)


One other thing I have learned this year is that negative people are not worth staying in my life. There have been some friends and family who I have decided to detach from. Either because their drama was no longer amusing me or because their negativity was grinding me down. On one side, I think it's a bit hypocritcal of me- I was extremely negative all the time, but most people stuck by me...but on the other hand I am trying to heal and become positive and have a better outlook on life. I can't do that with drama llamas and uber pessimists around me all the time.


So the only people I let into my life are people who I love, respect and care about. People who do have bad times happen in their lives, but have the ability to see light and shine rather than sit in the dark moping. People who make me laugh.


This year has been pretty awesome for me. I'm actually a bit sad that it's leaving- but I'm looking forward to 2012. If 2011 has been great- then next year can be even more so!


It's so exciting!


I'm so glad to have you lot with me on this journey. I wouldn't be who I am without you- that's the truth. I love my life, yes there are a few things I would change, but I can accept that I am exactly where I am meant to be right now.


I lie- I should be in bed right now- and that's where I am going now!


So- happy new year. I truly hope that 2012 is a great year for all of us!


Much Love,
Tanya x