Let's start off with the good stuff today. Really, I am really happy and of course, I want to share it with you guys (even though- it's not that much of a surprise if you're on my facebook or in the same minimins threads as me!)
Sunday, in my last blog update I said that the Wii told me I'd lost 5lb. My crazy, ritualistic weigh in this morning said that it was still at a 5lb loss, but just a touch higher than Sunday. That's cool, usually when people haven't eaten for a day or so, they gain quite a bit when the body gets used to storing energy again. So I was content. But of course, hopeful and rather nervous!
I was ready to get weighed at about 4! The last hour just dragged because I wanted to get it over and done with. But at 4.55 I stepped on the scales and it read that I had lost 6 (yes SIX) pound in 1 week! That is actually the joint highest loss I've ever had! That ties with my first week and it's the highest loss not including my first week, or the week after my rogue gain! So I was pretty ecstatic, and rather shocked.
I will try my best not to moan about my hours as go-getter at Asda! Obviously the long hours on my feet helped and I look forward to some more hours! I'm in tomorrow, 1-9pm so it's going to be a long one! I do have comfy insoles in my boots now, so hopefully I won't be in as much pain with my feet and legs!
Oh- this fits in perfectly with why I have a bit of anxiety.
I can't remember if I mentioned last time, but my manager did pull me to one side and check if I was ok, since I was a bit hesitant when one or 2 customers asked me where some stuff was. They have actually moved stuff again, only the condiments- and I know where to, but there are going to be some seriously peeved customers because they've basically moved them from one end of the store to the other. There were quite a few angry comments about the butter being moved down to the other end, now that the sauces have moved too...I sense that there's going to be quite a bit of anger and frustration aimed at me- when it really isn't my fault.
This truly is the downside to the job. Checkouts is great- they don't really have a go at you when you're at checkouts- but when you're actually on the shop floor, that's when they decide to rant and rave at you. Because, of course, it's us that personally decided to move everything around and it was just to confuse that specific customer.
The revamp of the store is probably justifiable, but some people don't see it like that. They just see it as a big inconvenience and will take it out on the nearest person with a uniform on. Sadly, they can't miss me, since I'm usually walking around with a big stick with a cardboard trolley on the end.
Sometimes my anxiety does come back to bite me on my (getting smaller) bum. People getting irate at me makes things a million times worse. I just need to remember that they're just ranting, they're not having a go at me personally (at least I hope not!) and all I can do is be polite, understanding and help them as much as I can.
I just really wish that people, in general- not just at work, would be mindful of others. There are a lot of fragile souls in this world, and they don't always look as though they are. There are a lot who put their walls up and try not to let people see the vulnerability. I'm very good at this, years of practice. Being big (or in my case now, just tall) makes hiding my fragility (is that a word?) a lot easier. But lots of little incidents, like I seem to be getting hit with lately, can very easily affect me and undo the hard work I've done to combat these anxiety issues.
*deep breath*
Didn't I *just* say I wasn't going to complain about my job?
Wait- I'm not really complaining about my job- I'm complaining about people being inconsiderate- that's ok, right?
Come on, Tanya. Just remember- you wanted to work for Asda again. This might not be ideal, but you have had checkout hours, just be grateful! (Yes- I am so so so so so grateful for checkout hours- more than you can imagine!)
Anyway- enough of that negativity! Back to positive stuff! *yay*
So, back to weigh in!
It was Greatest Loser 2012 at group today- it's a Slimming World national thing- but all groups have their group one, which is the overall greatest loser. I think it might be for people who have lost in the year and lost the most over all, or something. Anyway- I won!!! I kinda knew to be honest, but I wasn't fully expecting it- I didn't want to jinx it or anything! It really was an honour to be the group's Greatest Loser for the year, it's amazing to think how far I've come in less than a year!
In 7 weeks and 2 days it will be my Slimming World "anniversary". My first one. Hopefully I'll be well on my way to target then! Not planning on getting to target by then- because that is nearly 4lb a week and that's a huge amount (and a bit too high to aim for for me!) but I wouldn't mind being very close to my 9 1/2 stone award by then. Let's see when we get there!
It made me a bit emotional before when I said how far I have left to my initial target. I said "less than 2 stone" a couple of times. But when I said "1 stone 13lb" I thought, bloody hell- that's not much! Then I started thinking again about how much I've come from starting my journey. When 10 stone to lose was so daunting and I never thought I'd get there. Here I am, over 80% of the way there- it kinda feels like I'm coming to the home stretch (not quite- but getting there)
Anyhoo- it is definitely time for my bed. I'm bushed. I have to get a decent sleep since I've got a long shift tomorrow. Need to make time for a bit of meditation in the morning as well as enough cups of tea to relax me!
I'm hoping for a good week. Week 2 of my Lent pledge and definitely determined to stick to it. I WILL get there!
Much Love,
Tanya x
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