Hi everyone- sorry I've been so quiet lately- my head's been a bit squewed.
I was so chuffed with myself for being on plan 100%. Milk measured, well within my syns and lots of superfree.
I stood on the scales and had my first ever undeserved gain- 1 1/2lb.
Devastated didn't even cut it. I'm now in my old target range and paying for the privilege. I was hoping to have my 11 stone by the end of the current countdown- which ends next week.
I barely took notice in image therapy because I was so upset- I nearly started crying because I just felt like I wasn't believed when I said I had been on plan! But everything I ate I wrote down! People who know me know that I'm a stickler for the plan- checking things before eating them and always logging them!
Anyway- I said openly in group that I was going to have an "eff it" night- ironically tonight was the night we were talking about the "black hole" of after weigh in- where we eat certain things and don't count them. They all add up and people don't realise how many syns they're eating and not counting....
I always say that we start a new week as soon as we step off the scales. It doesn't matter if we do it ourselves but that's what the scale's take on the situation is!
For the last 2 weeks I have not gone over my syns once- even "treat tuesday" (which, may I add, I NEVER did until I got to target) cost me something like 14 syns the first week and 12 1/2 syns last week.
But I was so gutted- I just thought- sod it- I want to eat what I want and enjoy it. I hobbled to Asda (since my knee hurts still) and bought practically the whole shop...I started eating but didn't get round to finishing it all because I think my eyes are bigger than my belly. So I have a small pizza in the freezer, a packet of jaffa cakes and a creme egg in storage and I was bloated as hell when I went to bed last night!
Do I feel better? No, not really. But I started my week again as soon as I woke up.
A friend of mine who used to be a consultant checked out last week's diary and she saw nothing wrong with it- but suggested it might be about portion sizes. Funnily enough, the twin (Caz) said the same thing- and about snacking on fruit.
I mean- free is free right? Eat until you're satisfied then stop. The thing is, I don't "do" satisfied. I don't have an off switch. I can be bloated for a few minutes but then a glass of juice and I'm ready to go for another round!
So I'm being mindful about what I eat this week- that's my little change for this week. I'm going to see what next Tuesday brings and then decide on the next course of action! I might not get a great loss because of what I ate last night- but we shall see eh?
So- food diary for this week (minus the blackhole of tuesday)
Breakfast- muller light yoghurt
Lunch- 3 bacon, 2 egg (fried in frylight), tin of beans on toast (2 small slices, HEB)
Dinner- a chickpea curry (will post recipe up soon- promise) with lettuce, tomatoes, radish and pickles.
Supper- leftover curry with beetroot, pickles and tomatoes.
Snacks- apple, weetabix oaty bar (3 1/2), greek style muller (1/2), 40g reduced fat cheddar (HEA), small amount of left over tuna pasta (1/2 syn for the mayo)
Syns- 5 1/2 (synning 1 syn for a dash of milk in my coffee at starbucks)
HEA- reduced fat cheddar
HEB- bread.
Tomorrow- nothing food-wise planned but might crack open the scan bran for a laugh!
Not giving up- I want to be able to wear my target badge again- with my NEW target!
Now- to bed for me- busy day tomorrow
Much Love,
Tanya x
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